Colleen McLoughlin gets bikini-fied on her honeymoon

Newlyweds Colleen McLoughlin and English soccer star Wayne Rooney jetted off to Vegas for their honeymoon this week. It seems like they’re having a good time swimming, drinking and, wait, reading “The Secret” WTF? First off, these people are loaded. Everyone knows that’s a book for housewives stupid enough to believe you can will yourself wealthy, thin and/or relevant. Second, who reads on their honeymoon? Does the sex really stop that quickly? My God, you ladies are diabolical. How do you get away with it? Hold on, our secretary just showed me some cleavage, so now I’m doing her job for the rest of the day. What was I saying?