Newlyweds Colleen McLoughlin and English soccer star Wayne Rooney jetted off to Vegas for their honeymoon this week. It seems like they’re having a good time swimming, drinking and, wait, reading “The Secret” WTF? First off, these people are loaded. Everyone knows that’s a book for housewives stupid enough to believe you can will yourself wealthy, thin and/or relevant. Second, who reads on their honeymoon? Does the sex really stop that quickly? My God, you ladies are diabolical. How do you get away with it? Hold on, our secretary just showed me some cleavage, so now I’m doing her job for the rest of the day. What was I saying?
Photos: Bauer-Griffin
cate | June 26, 2008 at 10:14 pm
who is this tanorexic cunt?
daguz | June 26, 2008 at 10:16 pm
I’d take any loaded woman, no matter what she looks like….
daguz | June 26, 2008 at 10:17 pm
who cares? if she’s loaded…
Angry Beaver | June 26, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Huh…thanks for the pics. Now I remember where I left my beef jerky.
batwang | June 26, 2008 at 10:27 pm
Who the fuck is this repulsive pig? I’ve never thought a tan could look so bad!
Brooke was born hermaphordite and her parents opted to cut off the extra male genitalia, but were still not fooled. In cases like those the removed organ, in Brooks case the penis, eventually starts to take over as they grow. She needs to contact Jaime Lee Curtis for advice since she was born hermaphordite too. My condolonces Brook, or Ben or whatever it is.
yup | June 26, 2008 at 10:30 pm
Her tummy is freaky tan
Lisa | June 26, 2008 at 10:35 pm
She looks nice but these are not the most flattering pictures of Coleen, but you have to google her husband Wayne Rooney or ‘shrek’. Now theres a face for the radio!
Ted from LA | June 26, 2008 at 10:49 pm
She looks 100% normal. ATTACK!
She’s not that tan, fat, or drunk. I’ve been to Vegas at least 50 times and have seen hundreds of young women just like her. Completely harmless. Can’t we all just get along? Let me people go.
The new Fish really hates women.
Michelle DD | June 26, 2008 at 10:54 pm
The Secret is probably because she wishes that Wayne stops visiting prostutes after their wedding.
No, wait… now they are married, she can divorce him and get loads of money. Maybe she wishes the prostitutes come back.
morga | June 26, 2008 at 11:14 pm
I actually read quite a bit on my honeymoon, but only because we had a nice balcony overlooking the ocean and it was pleasant to sit out there between rounds of….you know.
Ted from LA | June 26, 2008 at 11:20 pm
morga,
How would you like to be the next Mrs. Ted from LA? You know why? Well… you know.
malicious | June 27, 2008 at 12:18 am
this is the dude that got caught out banging old prostitutes, I guess all is forgiven
magickal | June 27, 2008 at 12:38 am
Who the fuck is this whore and wh
y do we care???
What the eff has this site turned into? Yeah, some of them are cute. But most of them are irrelevant. NEXT!
Harry | June 27, 2008 at 1:19 am
She’s aiiiight, but I thought all these footballers got prime meat. Why settle for this chick who’s clearly sucking in her stomach.
Hell, even that douchebag loser Andy Roddick gets Brooklyn Decker. ‘Splain that to me!
Kim Lardassian | June 27, 2008 at 5:23 am
FUCK off Americans its football not soccer, you cunts stole our word, only countries that don’t play football call it soccer. I hate obese Americans you sicken me.
veggi | June 27, 2008 at 6:37 am
I used to have a body like hers, long long ago before I let myself slip and by slip I mean like imagine yourself at the top of a redwood tree holding on for dear life. Then suddenly your palms are greasy.
Now when I walk, which is rare as I practically live on this site and eat potato and corn byproducts, I waddle. Like a duck with roids.
At least I still have my dignity.
Jack Sparrow | June 27, 2008 at 6:42 am
@15
Soccer is for fags anyway.
They all cry like babies when they get kicked in the shin.
See, you stupid fuckwads cry about what to call it.
Watching paint dry is 5 times more exciting than any soccer game.
Get over it loser.
Lacrimosa | June 27, 2008 at 6:52 am
What the hell kind of name is “Wayne Rooney”?
Also, put a fork in her, she’s done.
chelsea | June 27, 2008 at 6:57 am
anyone who’s saying she is fat or tanorexic is clearly just fucking jealous of her–ur probly a bunch of fat fucking pigs that would die to look like that. go fuck yourselves u pretentious motherfuckers
chelsea | June 27, 2008 at 6:57 am
anyone who’s saying she is fat or tanorexic is clearly just fucking jealous of her–ur probly a bunch of fat fucking pigs that would die to look like that. go fuck yourselves u pretentious motherfuckers
FattyMcGee | June 27, 2008 at 7:32 am
I’m fat. And yet, I don’t wish to look like her. In fact, I’d rather be risking heart disease than be risking looking like her.
FattyMcGee | June 27, 2008 at 7:32 am
I’m fat. And yet, I don’t wish to look like her. In fact, I’d rather be risking heart disease than be risking looking like her.
Erik | June 27, 2008 at 7:46 am
Wow. So many ignorant people on this board coming from all sides. Nice to see an athlete with a normal chick, and especially one who has a higher salary than most U.S. athletes. They’ve been together, apparently, since they were 16 years-old, so I respect that.
thesportsaffiliate.com | June 27, 2008 at 7:57 am
If I made $260,000 a week, I dont think I would be honeymooning in Vegas and drinking budweiser by the pool. They used to be a normal couple, they are both from working class families, but when you start to make $260,000 a week, you life is no longer normal.
my comment | June 27, 2008 at 8:00 am
Never heard of these two.
She’s kind of a bore to look at but at least she isn’t covered with disgusting tattoos.
josh | June 27, 2008 at 8:06 am
@17
google rugby, you shoulder pad & helmet wearing pussy.
McLashen Obama | June 27, 2008 at 8:34 am
@ #26
aye you tell the whiney prat ;)
your fat mom | June 27, 2008 at 8:39 am
This woman is definitely a 5 or 6 in terms of her body and face. She needs to tone up a wee bit and maybe stop frying herself in the sun to raise her score, both of which would require a lengthy period of time to achieve. If she takes off her top now and shows me some titties I’d raise her to a 7 or 8 in the short term, but her usefulness to me would end sooner because I would have already had sex with her and moved on to the next worthless skank.
A pleasant personality might compel me to stay longer, but her bikini screams “I’m a tacky, self-absorbed bitch”, and anyway if she were nice she’d be too understanding when I cheat on her and then start trying to change for me, which would be futile because while she was working on deserving me I’d have been banging her sister and flirting with her mom.
CornHole | June 27, 2008 at 8:41 am
American football is fucking gay. A bunch of bodybuilders and fatasses wearing spandex tights and patting each other on the ass. Rugby is a real sport that doesn’t have stoppage of play every 7 seconds so the blockers can catch their breath.
ddd | June 27, 2008 at 8:51 am
Kim Lardassian
Shut up, I’m sure you’re lardy as hell.
England Sucks | June 27, 2008 at 8:58 am
Why does the same person — under different names — keep bashing American football and praising England? I don’t particularly like football, but then again, I don’t like pasty, stunted, Germany-fearing, can’t-win-a-war-without-becoming-America’s-bitch, empire-losing, irrelevant-on-the-world-stage-for-the-last-50-years, bad teeth having degenerates who, along France, are the inspiration for the term Eurotrash.
Run along, I think your bitch mother is calling you inside to eat her fish and chips.
England SUCKS. Get over it.
sportsdvl | June 27, 2008 at 8:58 am
I’d stick it in her butt, no doubt about that.
Jack Sparrow | June 27, 2008 at 9:06 am
Rugby? That shits a joke too.
What do those guys make, maybe $10 an hour?
No body watches rugby or soccer for that matter.
Lets all hold hands in a circle and dribble the ball around while wearing gay ass short shorts (nickers) *my bad*.
Fucking tidlee winks you dipshit euro blokes.
Auntie Kryst | June 27, 2008 at 9:21 am
@31 Well played sir, well played..
blowhard | June 27, 2008 at 9:30 am
I think the retards on both sides of the “soccer vs football” argument are really just saying that they’re insecure about the size of their cocks. Hey everybody, let’s all invoke national stereotypes while our fat bodies atrophy and we stare contentedly at the screen with our tiny dicks in our hands!
Anyway, baseball and Canada are clearly the best, YEEEAAHHHHH!
Euro 2008 is fucking good so far. I know it’s wrong but I kind of want Germany to win…. ;)
Jack Sparrow | June 27, 2008 at 9:44 am
The real retard would be some dumbass from canada sticking their head out of the snow long enough to throw out some baseball bullshit.
Go find an igloo to crowl in while holding someones little cock in your mouth.
canada has NOTHING to envy.
Lucius R Sulla | June 27, 2008 at 9:50 am
This blog and its content proves why you Americans are so pig sh*t stoopid – drooling after all the insignificant little events that happen in these sad “celebrity” lives. No wonder none of you have a decent education. I bet half of you can barely read this comment. Losers.
gerard Vandenberg | June 27, 2008 at 10:01 am
BUT HER TITS HAD A DAY OFF FOLKS!!
JimmyBachaFungool | June 27, 2008 at 10:05 am
The British have such horrible taste in women.
Auntie Kryst | June 27, 2008 at 10:08 am
@37 Hey cultural standard bearer, what’s today’s headline in The Daily Mirror??
BaCrock Osama | June 27, 2008 at 10:09 am
Anyone who thinks she is skinny must be a jealous fat sow
Tyallie | June 27, 2008 at 10:11 am
There’s a lot of venom in these posts. Can’t understand anyone who thinks football sucks. And I mean the proper football that Wayne Rooney plays, not the American knockoff variety where they’re allowed to use their hands. There’s a reason why it’s called football!
Anyway, I don’t think Coleen looks bad. Which, yeah, it’s spelled ‘Coleen’. She’s just a normal girl, not a celeb. People are only interested in her because she’s Rooney’s girl. People are interested in Rooney because he’s England’s star striker. I’m not surprised all you American folk don’t know that, though. You all reckon the World Series only involves one country, right?
Annie | June 27, 2008 at 10:18 am
The sex stops that quickly because Rooney actually likes them old and dusty.
That’s right, I said it.
http://www.cantstopthebleeding.com/C868288763/E246600925/
He slept with all kinds of old prostitutes, while he could have sex with this pretty YOUNG girl. For shame. Ew.
Deacon Jones | June 27, 2008 at 10:18 am
“BORING” – Homer Simpson
Deacon Jones | June 27, 2008 at 10:20 am
@37
You spelled stupid wrong you stupid shit.
nipolian | June 27, 2008 at 10:29 am
English soccer (yes you fucktards, SOCCER, American website – American words!) players are such a bunch of pussies….look at that homo David Beckham……he was supposed to be the best you wankers had…..here in America he is an average player at best…….always hurt…..always crying about something insignificant.
Conscience_Found | June 27, 2008 at 10:33 am
I like her bangs.
sloane | June 27, 2008 at 10:39 am
Bandeau tops only look good if you are a flat chested gal. If you are bigger than an A-cup don’t do it. It just makes you look saggy or gives you the dreaded “banana boob.”
blowhard | June 27, 2008 at 10:53 am
#36 Those comments would have totally made me cry if I were Canadian. You’re so mean. I bet you get all the ladies. As it is, I’m from the US and am just embarrassed by you. Go fucking kill yourself dumbass.
ps. hang on. Why the hell am I wasting my time arguing with some loser online? WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME????
Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | June 27, 2008 at 10:57 am
#37 – Don’t you people say things like “shtewpid” when you really means stupid?
Bullet Tooth Tony: A bookie’s got blagged last night.
Avi: Blagged? Speak English to me, Tony. I thought this country spawned the fucking language, and so far nobody seems to speak it.