Colin Farrell proves that doing drugs will get you laid

Many have pondered the secret to banging a Playboy playmate and getting her to let you document the event on film. Is it money? The right cologne? Some kind of voodoo ritual involving a decapitated chicken? Nope, it’s getting hammered on drugs. Just ask Colin Farrell! The Sun reports:

COLIN FARRELL was off his head on drugs when he agreed to film his infamous sex tape.
The Minority Report star, who is now tee-total, filmed an X-rated romp with Playboy model NICOLE NARAIN back in 2003.
But as with most decisions made under the influence, Colin wishes he had been sober when she suggested shooting their nookie.
He said: “I think I was high… It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

At the time? Hell, it seems like an even better idea now. Hopefully some government-funded agency can get Farrell’s permission to use the footage in a PSA:

This is Colin Farrell. This is Colin Farrell on drugs. This is Colin Farrell on drugs, going balls-deep with a piece of tail that your sober ass was probably fantasizing about the last time you were humping your crusty gym sock. Any questions?

Paid for by the Partnership for a Playmate-Banging America.

The only problem would be getting funding for the commercial time in this time of financial crisis, but they can divert the cash from FEMA. It’s not like disaster survivors are going to do anything to help you improve your sex life, the selfish pricks.

Photos: WENN