Colin Farrell proves that doing drugs will get you laid

October 16th, 2008 // 52 Comments

Many have pondered the secret to banging a Playboy playmate and getting her to let you document the event on film. Is it money? The right cologne? Some kind of voodoo ritual involving a decapitated chicken? Nope, it’s getting hammered on drugs. Just ask Colin Farrell! The Sun reports:

COLIN FARRELL was off his head on drugs when he agreed to film his infamous sex tape.
The Minority Report star, who is now tee-total, filmed an X-rated romp with Playboy model NICOLE NARAIN back in 2003.
But as with most decisions made under the influence, Colin wishes he had been sober when she suggested shooting their nookie.
He said: “I think I was high… It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

At the time? Hell, it seems like an even better idea now. Hopefully some government-funded agency can get Farrell’s permission to use the footage in a PSA:

This is Colin Farrell. This is Colin Farrell on drugs. This is Colin Farrell on drugs, going balls-deep with a piece of tail that your sober ass was probably fantasizing about the last time you were humping your crusty gym sock. Any questions?

Paid for by the Partnership for a Playmate-Banging America.

The only problem would be getting funding for the commercial time in this time of financial crisis, but they can divert the cash from FEMA. It’s not like disaster survivors are going to do anything to help you improve your sex life, the selfish pricks.

Photos: WENN
superficial

  1. hmna

    Colin would hardly be the first to make an ill-advised decision under the influence.

  2. A girl would have to be super high to even think about pity-boinking one of the male superficial commenters. And it’d have to be some drug that makes tiny things look big. And dulls your sense of smell.

  3. Kaplan

    I think he’s gross. I do not see the appeal in him.

  4. Kaplan

    PS: check out his long fingernail in pic 2. PPS: I think he’s too fat for the suit he’s wearing.

  5. emmaleigh

    He’s not as hot anymore…but with that accent? I’d still bang him all night long!

  6. Arroyo

    Drugs got him laid? GET REAL.

    I think being a multi-millionaire just might have been the key here, don’t you?

    That is, unless you really think that Nicole Narain goes down to skid row to bang drugged out homeless guys?

  7. Hunter

    He would… he would…

  8. meh

    Since when did he decide he was Legolas from Lord of the Rings?

  9. Binky

    I think it’s spelt Colin ‘Feral’ Fish.
    (And ladies – one look should say ‘hummm…might catch something here and not just the Guinness Flu’ – you know , that type of thing)

  10. So #2 Frist – Et Tu Spokane ?
    We sooo dissappointed !
    Wobviously you never seen my Karaoke – shakin’ with ‘Frank’ from 16th Floor rockin’ out – ‘Don’t you think your whoyfriend was HOT like me’?
    It bring house down. Sweriously . (Or at least a partial collapse starting at third floor. Nothing weelee swerious.)
    Joe the Plumber : Inside job ?
    Knee Ya Ha Ha : No Joe. Not now.

  11. hahaha first thing I thought of was Legolas from LOTR too!

  12. pam

    get a fucking haircut slimeball!!

  13. Stuey

    If you haven’t seen the video i highly recommend it. at one point he tells the woman he wants to live in her cooch. its loaded with cheesy lines.

    Oh and he aint packing nothing to write home about so you can use that as a pick up line, “hey, I am bigger than Colon Ferrell”

  14. Skeps

    wait, they talk about Colin Farrell, and the best the can come up with is the 5 minutes he was in minority report? come on.

  15. FAGGOTS LOVE THAT:
    …………………………………………LAID!!

  16. Vince Lombardi

    Douche.

  17. friendlyfires

    Smug, ugly Massengill.

  18. laweren

    This guy was once a vip member of Richromances.com where he writes blog often. I hope I can have a chat with him.

  19. michy

    he is sooo sexy!!!i want him

  20. ME

    ASCOT = FAG

  21. Not in that movie

    “The Minority Report star”? He wasnt in the minority report movie :o

  22. Britzook

    no.22 yes he was

  23. Deacon Jones

    Well, rule out cocaine as something he was on, you can’t get a hardon to save your life on that shit, it’s reverse Viagra

    “Co-Caine, vivaaaaaaaaaa”

  24. cookiepuss

    EEWWWWW . I can’t believe i uses to think he was soo hot . he looks like hes homeless now . nasty . I think he’s pissed about the video because he suffers from the irish curse. poor collin.

  25. hannah

    he is so fukin slimey and gross. Dude go get some sun & visit the gym already.

  26. TUBBO

    She is one ugly bitch.

  27. woodhorse

    FRIST, you’ve got a witness. Can I get an Amen?

  28. Turd Ferguson

    Damn! That chick needs a shave!

  29. Maynard

    Fruit. He was plucked from obscurity by Joel Schumacher, just like Matthew McConaughey, and Schumacher is a gay predator. I guarantee you something went down and that something has an Irish accent.

    Just like all these guys who sleep with a man to get ahead in Hollywood, he then tries to compensate with exaggerated hetero activity that makes him look even more like a gay. Men treat women with respect. These little Hollywood bum boys are just bisexual pagans.

  30. Were heavy drugs his excuse for that sorry ass Miami Vice remake?

  31. Who lit the fuse in FRIST tampon this morning GEEZ…

  32. Oh im sorry Frist that was half hour before you unlocked that box under the bed last night….We understand….

  33. Kayleigh C

    Did anyone notice his forehead is obscenely large? I mean really look…

  34. Joe the Plummer

    definitely in minority report

  35. daisy

    Hey,I am a tall girl,because of tall,seems difficult to find a boy friend for me,I am anxiety sometime.Since I joined the club[__"tallhub.com"__],I find many good tall admirers,tall guys,tall girls,even models,if you wanna make friends with us, please join us. Don’t let love pass you by.

  36. Fumus

    Ok, yea I just good that chick. She’s not even hot.

    HTH was she a playmate?

  37. gigi

    ugh.. seen the chick too – what is it w/ these butter-faced black chicks w/ smoking bodies & extensions who get lucky with who they know [and do]? no wonder he needed to be high… there are so many hotter black & exotic chicks… and Minority Report ?!? [which btw, the he WAS in #22 -- the agent guy who was keeping on eye on the goings ons w/ Tom, et al] they use THAT movie??

  38. mamadough

    i would rather masturbate with a brillo pad than let colin farrell get within inches of me.

  39. bri

    this site doesn’t refresh for some reason!! drives me nuts! i keep getting this colin farrell story as the most recent story when i check out the site, and only now and then it will actually show the recent updates. nuts.

  40. IWONKY

    wow – a male Britney

  41. sariyou

    Ah, fuck it, I can’t lie. He’s still hot as hell. He could lose the hair, but I’m pretty sure he’s needed it long for a bunch of roles lately. I’d still let him crawl all over me

  42. sariyou

    but seriously, remember this?
    http://tinypic.com” target=”_blank”>”Image

    *tear

  43. Aja

    He looks smelly

  44. Aja

    He looks smelly

  45. fumanchu

    Dennis Miller called, he wants his mullet haircut from the 70′s back…. roflma

  46. meee

    how do people seriously find him anywhere NEAR attractive? he’s fucking disgusting.

  47. Chelle

    He is one scruffy looking dirtbag. I can’t figure out what’s supposed to be so attractive about him. Whatever it is, I sure don’t see it.

  48. chiefoverlord

    I am digging this new Colin Farrell look.

    He looks like a pirate.

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