Colin Farrell makes child porn

December 19th, 2005 // 24 Comments

thenewworld_child_porn.jpgFilmmakers of The New World have apparently re-shot scenes where Colin Farrell makes out with a 14-year old Q’Orianka Kilcher because it’s making lawyers nervous that they might be making child porn.

“Farrell was told to get romantic and sensual but knew there was a certain amount of kissing involved,” a source told the British mag The People. “He played the scene brilliantly and he really put Q’Orianka at her ease. But when the lawyers saw the finished product with Colin and Q’Orianka rolling around on the ground kissing they just flipped out.” The lawyers were concerned about child-pornography laws, and a tamer version of the scene was reportedly re-shot.

“This is the first time I’ve heard of this,” a New Line spokesman told The Scoop. “To my knowledge, there is no scene of this nature in the picture.”

Either somebody is lying about their age, or Q’Orianka Kilcher is the oldest looking 14-year old I’ve ever seen. I’ve seen the trailer for The New World and I could have sworn that Pocahontas looked no younger than 19 or 20. So either something really fishy is going on, or I’ve completely lost my ability to tell age, in which case I need to make some phone calls to some lawyers. Because, uh, I like to talk to lawyers. Not for anything sick or perverted.

Thanks to the hopefully legal Erica for the tip.

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Comments (24)

  1. MortyFishbein | December 19, 2005 at 3:35 pm

    Seriously, is there ANYTHING Colin Farrell will not put his hands on/mouth on/dick in?

    This is just rounding out his collection.

    Reply
  2. Binky | December 19, 2005 at 3:50 pm

    Colin and his movie moguls should have learned by now an easier way to check up on the legality of talent or ‘dates’ is to wait for recess and ask their teachers. Would save a lot on lawyers.

    Reply
  3. Captain Awesome | December 19, 2005 at 3:56 pm

    America with its pussy censorship. They did the same thing to “Leon”. They should use R Kelly’s lawyers.

    Reply
  4. ElFurbe | December 19, 2005 at 4:20 pm

    Well, the girl IS only 15, and could have been only 14 at the time of shooting.

    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0452963/

    I think if anything, censoring the scene is interesting as opposed to beating the director or producers with a large clue bat. I mean, I don’t think it’s the best plan to script a 14 year old girl making out with anyone, let alone Colin Farrell. Then again, it’s just a little necking and we probably shouldn’t be such prudes, eh?

    Reply
  5. derekd | December 19, 2005 at 4:27 pm

    Right wing kooks running this country. A sad state of affairs.

    Reply
  6. luckyglinda | December 19, 2005 at 4:55 pm

    Colin, just stay in rehab until the statute of limitations runs out. Based on past history a long stay is justified.

    Reply
  7. dhampir | December 19, 2005 at 7:05 pm

    My God…I want that role.

    Imagine how the parents would feel though! Ugh, and the kid when she next went to school…I pity her friends who will have to sit around listening for the 100th time how romantic Colin was, and how when they were having sex in that cheap motel with those 5 other hookers, he kept on telling her he loved her and she was the most prettiest lay he’d ever had (but not the youngest). Awww.

    Reply
  8. networkchick | December 19, 2005 at 7:11 pm

    See, the reason they had to cast a teenager is that their sense of smell isn’t quite developed yet. No adult actress could stand his greasy stench.

    Reply
  9. SpiderMomma | December 19, 2005 at 7:24 pm

    I seriously do not see what other ladies/men find so attractive about that guy. Yuck!!!!!!!

    Reply
  10. Rochford | December 19, 2005 at 8:14 pm

    The real life Pocahontas (Matoaka) was only 11 or 12 when she “saved” John Smith.

    Reply
  11. Captain Awesome | December 19, 2005 at 9:47 pm

    I’d so hit Q’Orianka Kilcher.

    Reply
  12. BadassFred | December 19, 2005 at 11:14 pm

    …Well, that’s just creepy.

    Reply
  13. SpiderMomma | December 19, 2005 at 11:24 pm

    I guess some girls love the grease.

    Just that thought alone is enough to ruin meals for me for a long time to come. Gross, real gross.

    Reply
  14. hafaball | December 20, 2005 at 12:14 am

    Wow, he went from straight, to gay, to bi, and now pedophial…Is this not the best actor or what!? All he needs to do now is get sexual with a sheep and a tree, and his movie career is set! Strangely the title of his next movie is, “Me and a tree…”

    Reply
  15. Smackage | December 20, 2005 at 12:48 am

    all this could have been avoided if the white man didn’t kill my damn buffalo!

    Reply
  16. The Devil | December 20, 2005 at 6:49 am

    Q’Orianka Kilcher is one ugly girl. She has “man jaw.” Ugh.

    Reply
  17. BadassFred | December 20, 2005 at 3:27 pm

    I think she’s pretty.

    Reply
  18. brindlescruff | December 20, 2005 at 10:22 pm

    This just proves that the right way to handle a situation that involves “you should never have done that” is “we’re going to make you do it again.”

    “Tamer” or not, how is reshooting the thing supposed to help prevent child pornography?

    Reply
  19. wendy | December 22, 2005 at 8:44 pm

    Colin was her first kiss, too.

    Reply
  20. wendy | December 22, 2005 at 8:44 pm

    Colin was her first kiss, too.

    Reply
  21. skippy | December 30, 2005 at 3:17 am

    Poor girl, she’ll go through the rest of her life with a stain on her… career.

    Reply
  22. seanfbranigan | June 6, 2006 at 7:59 am

    You are all not doing your nation justice the way you’re carrying on. It’s a maturely made beautiful film about an innocent type of love. Child porn doesn’t come into it you nerds, leave the fact that you don’t like Farrell (and the fact that he is more talented and works harder in one day than you do in your entire lives) take it as something thats loyal to the “concept” of the story, not necessarily historically acurate, but true to the idea of a man being enchanted by a girl. They don’t speak the same language, they relate through touch, looks and gestures. See Americans don’t do subtle do they, you all want to be hit over the head with obvious fucking right wing, politically correct facts so that you can all follow the actual story while you wipe the drool from you’re slack jaws. Just see the fucking thing then make judgement. Good luck.

    PS. and what makes you think its ok to diss Q’orianka? She’s a young girl that could do something very few her age would have the maturity to do. Think you should be respecting her for giving us something fresh. as for that guy, “the devil” who said she had a man jaw? haha, what do you all think the chances of “the devil” being an attractive young man with an athletic body, and a finely chiseled face, and not a lump of fat sweating on the computer in his parents house. He calls himself “the devil” for crying out loud.

    Reply
  23. Only Lonely | June 10, 2006 at 1:37 am

    Haha you really think she’s mature? She’s 16 and plays this whole “I’m so down to earth and I’m so chill” attitude straying from the typical valley girl from hollywood. She used to be really kewl really realistic, a great person. After she did that movie she changed… she’s very superficial now, did you see her when she won that latin award or whatever the other night? She was leaning on her hands looking like a pouty little girl, like she didn’t want to be there!

    She is not mature in any way. She gets drunk quite a bit actually and does some pretty stupid things

    Reply
  24. noromy | May 23, 2011 at 4:39 pm

    he is talented it is a good movie ….so if u dont like him or his movie just dont watch .. how oldare ya ? four

    Reply

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