Colin Farrell makes child porn

December 19th, 2005 // 24 Comments

thenewworld_child_porn.jpgFilmmakers of The New World have apparently re-shot scenes where Colin Farrell makes out with a 14-year old Q’Orianka Kilcher because it’s making lawyers nervous that they might be making child porn.

“Farrell was told to get romantic and sensual but knew there was a certain amount of kissing involved,” a source told the British mag The People. “He played the scene brilliantly and he really put Q’Orianka at her ease. But when the lawyers saw the finished product with Colin and Q’Orianka rolling around on the ground kissing they just flipped out.” The lawyers were concerned about child-pornography laws, and a tamer version of the scene was reportedly re-shot.

“This is the first time I’ve heard of this,” a New Line spokesman told The Scoop. “To my knowledge, there is no scene of this nature in the picture.”

Either somebody is lying about their age, or Q’Orianka Kilcher is the oldest looking 14-year old I’ve ever seen. I’ve seen the trailer for The New World and I could have sworn that Pocahontas looked no younger than 19 or 20. So either something really fishy is going on, or I’ve completely lost my ability to tell age, in which case I need to make some phone calls to some lawyers. Because, uh, I like to talk to lawyers. Not for anything sick or perverted.

Thanks to the hopefully legal Erica for the tip.


  1. MortyFishbein

    Seriously, is there ANYTHING Colin Farrell will not put his hands on/mouth on/dick in?

    This is just rounding out his collection.

  2. Binky

    Colin and his movie moguls should have learned by now an easier way to check up on the legality of talent or ‘dates’ is to wait for recess and ask their teachers. Would save a lot on lawyers.

  3. Captain Awesome

    America with its pussy censorship. They did the same thing to “Leon”. They should use R Kelly’s lawyers.

  4. ElFurbe

    Well, the girl IS only 15, and could have been only 14 at the time of shooting.

    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0452963/

    I think if anything, censoring the scene is interesting as opposed to beating the director or producers with a large clue bat. I mean, I don’t think it’s the best plan to script a 14 year old girl making out with anyone, let alone Colin Farrell. Then again, it’s just a little necking and we probably shouldn’t be such prudes, eh?

  5. derekd

    Right wing kooks running this country. A sad state of affairs.

  6. luckyglinda

    Colin, just stay in rehab until the statute of limitations runs out. Based on past history a long stay is justified.

  7. dhampir

    My God…I want that role.

    Imagine how the parents would feel though! Ugh, and the kid when she next went to school…I pity her friends who will have to sit around listening for the 100th time how romantic Colin was, and how when they were having sex in that cheap motel with those 5 other hookers, he kept on telling her he loved her and she was the most prettiest lay he’d ever had (but not the youngest). Awww.

  8. networkchick

    See, the reason they had to cast a teenager is that their sense of smell isn’t quite developed yet. No adult actress could stand his greasy stench.

  9. SpiderMomma

    I seriously do not see what other ladies/men find so attractive about that guy. Yuck!!!!!!!

  10. Rochford

    The real life Pocahontas (Matoaka) was only 11 or 12 when she “saved” John Smith.

  11. Captain Awesome

    I’d so hit Q’Orianka Kilcher.

  12. BadassFred

    …Well, that’s just creepy.

  13. SpiderMomma

    I guess some girls love the grease.

    Just that thought alone is enough to ruin meals for me for a long time to come. Gross, real gross.

  14. hafaball

    Wow, he went from straight, to gay, to bi, and now pedophial…Is this not the best actor or what!? All he needs to do now is get sexual with a sheep and a tree, and his movie career is set! Strangely the title of his next movie is, “Me and a tree…”

  15. all this could have been avoided if the white man didn’t kill my damn buffalo!

  16. The Devil

    Q’Orianka Kilcher is one ugly girl. She has “man jaw.” Ugh.

  17. BadassFred

    I think she’s pretty.

  18. brindlescruff

    This just proves that the right way to handle a situation that involves “you should never have done that” is “we’re going to make you do it again.”

    “Tamer” or not, how is reshooting the thing supposed to help prevent child pornography?

  19. wendy

    Colin was her first kiss, too.

  20. wendy

    Colin was her first kiss, too.

  21. skippy

    Poor girl, she’ll go through the rest of her life with a stain on her… career.

  22. seanfbranigan

    You are all not doing your nation justice the way you’re carrying on. It’s a maturely made beautiful film about an innocent type of love. Child porn doesn’t come into it you nerds, leave the fact that you don’t like Farrell (and the fact that he is more talented and works harder in one day than you do in your entire lives) take it as something thats loyal to the “concept” of the story, not necessarily historically acurate, but true to the idea of a man being enchanted by a girl. They don’t speak the same language, they relate through touch, looks and gestures. See Americans don’t do subtle do they, you all want to be hit over the head with obvious fucking right wing, politically correct facts so that you can all follow the actual story while you wipe the drool from you’re slack jaws. Just see the fucking thing then make judgement. Good luck.

    PS. and what makes you think its ok to diss Q’orianka? She’s a young girl that could do something very few her age would have the maturity to do. Think you should be respecting her for giving us something fresh. as for that guy, “the devil” who said she had a man jaw? haha, what do you all think the chances of “the devil” being an attractive young man with an athletic body, and a finely chiseled face, and not a lump of fat sweating on the computer in his parents house. He calls himself “the devil” for crying out loud.

  23. Only Lonely

    Haha you really think she’s mature? She’s 16 and plays this whole “I’m so down to earth and I’m so chill” attitude straying from the typical valley girl from hollywood. She used to be really kewl really realistic, a great person. After she did that movie she changed… she’s very superficial now, did you see her when she won that latin award or whatever the other night? She was leaning on her hands looking like a pouty little girl, like she didn’t want to be there!

    She is not mature in any way. She gets drunk quite a bit actually and does some pretty stupid things

  24. noromy

    he is talented it is a good movie ….so if u dont like him or his movie just dont watch .. how oldare ya ? four

Leave A Comment