Colin Farrell is married

June 2nd, 2006 // 102 Comments
colin-farell-married.jpg

Colin Farrell was photographed with some fans recently sporting a wedding band which suggests he may have already married girlfriend Lake Bell. Or maybe he just likes wearing wedding bands because it helps him forget he’s a man whore. “What sex tape? No, I don’t sleep with a different dirty girl every other night. I’m married. As you can clearly tell from this thing I have on my finger.”

Source

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Comments (102)

  1. Errrika | June 2, 2006 at 3:19 pm

    First? I use to think he was hot, now I just think he’s icky.

    Reply
  2. Binky | June 2, 2006 at 3:20 pm

    My sources tell me he married a bottle of Bushmills – shotgun – in the Fall of 2003.

    Reply
  3. Fisher55 | June 2, 2006 at 3:21 pm

    well it’s about fucking time, superfish people

    wtf

    Reply
  4. bloodyvictim | June 2, 2006 at 3:22 pm

    I think it’s just to convince young girls that he’s married,trustworthy and “not going to force them to cover themselves in vaseline, and ride a donkey backwards while he watches and sings the theme song to ‘my little pony’”… because he’s really not going to do that… really.

    Reply
  5. Feed_Me_Chocolate | June 2, 2006 at 3:22 pm

    He looks kind of like Jim Carrey in that picture–a manwhorish, chain-smoking, foul-mouthed version, that is.

    That or Guy Smiley from Sesame Street.

    Reply
  6. Fisher55 | June 2, 2006 at 3:23 pm

    that’s no ring, he just didn’t wash his hands after handplowing the fatty on the right

    Reply
  7. Jacq | June 2, 2006 at 3:23 pm

    Uhhh, from the looks of the girls in that picture, he ain’t married.
    That or else he won’t be wearing his pants or that ring for very long.

    #1 – Took the words right out of my mouth.

    Reply
  8. blueballs | June 2, 2006 at 3:23 pm

    ooh ooh i am 6th!!!

    I hope he makes another sex tape with his wife.

    Reply
  9. blueballs | June 2, 2006 at 3:24 pm

    damn it..make that 8th..

    Reply
  10. Fisher55 | June 2, 2006 at 3:24 pm

    he looks more like the Desparate Housewives gardener here

    Reply
  11. Fisher55 | June 2, 2006 at 3:25 pm

    wait….handplow, gardener…i’m sensing a theme

    Reply
  12. Dr.Rokter | June 2, 2006 at 3:25 pm

    #7 Looking at those girls’ pictures, you can tell they’re both in MENSA.

    Reply
  13. Jacq | June 2, 2006 at 3:28 pm

    They finally feed us and THIS is what we get?!

    He’s so grosso that I think I need a shower now – not including the fact that I didn’t take one this morning.

    Reply
  14. BoredBlonde | June 2, 2006 at 3:28 pm

    I’D HIT IT!! ohhhhhhhhh COLIN

    Reply
  15. krisdylee | June 2, 2006 at 3:28 pm

    The chick in the dark shirt appears to be pressing her tits against him in hopes of him pressing his cock into her vagina.

    Reply
  16. Ari | June 2, 2006 at 3:29 pm

    Hmm… slow gossip day, I suppose.

    Reply
  17. blueballs | June 2, 2006 at 3:29 pm

    the look on Colin’s face is “Fuck, I am married. I can’t bang these two girls in the arse and make them blow me like my dick is the blarney stone.

    Reply
  18. Seneca Fell | June 2, 2006 at 3:30 pm

    #10 he does NOT look like the gardener from DH (jesse metcalfe) here. jesse metcalfe is a beautiful, beautiful man. colin farrell is chlamydia in human form.

    also, i think he’s wearing the ring because it goes with the outfit, which makes him look like a responsible adult, kind of. not really. i don’t believe it for a second. i think he’s trying on marriage to see what it looks like, and failing to realize that marriage means you’re not supposed to pick up bimbos outside of bars.

    Reply
  19. 94LT1 | June 2, 2006 at 3:30 pm

    The girls are hot but holy eyebrows Batman!

    Reply
  20. krisdylee | June 2, 2006 at 3:31 pm

    I liked Colin on SNL, his Bono impression was fuckin’ hysterical!

    Reply
  21. PapaHotNuts | June 2, 2006 at 3:31 pm

    I wonder what he smells like? I bet someone on here knows.

    Reply
  22. viewaskewniverse | June 2, 2006 at 3:32 pm

    He looks like my dad’s tax accountant.

    Reply
  23. Jacq | June 2, 2006 at 3:34 pm

    #12 – If by that you mean Meaty, Eager, Nubile Sex Addicts, I can totally see that.

    #15 – It looks kinda like how Joe Simpson hugs Jessica. Or tries to.

    Reply
  24. ellaminnowpea | June 2, 2006 at 3:34 pm

    …dressed like that???….looks like he’s taking the hobags to swing by and pick up K-Fart for a double date on the town!

    Looks like somebody’s sharing a stylist…

    Reply
  25. Fisher55 | June 2, 2006 at 3:39 pm

    18, another difference: jesse metcalfe is totally gay, so unless you sport cock, keep dreaming

    Reply
  26. Dr.Rokter | June 2, 2006 at 3:40 pm

    #21 He smells like the plastic teeth the dentist uses to show you what happens in your mouth when you’re not looking.

    Reply
  27. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | June 2, 2006 at 3:41 pm

    I once asked Colin Farrell for a ring and he put one around my eye.

    Reply
  28. Fisher55 | June 2, 2006 at 3:44 pm

    i once asked Colin Farrell for a ring and he gave me ringworm, which is just not the same

    Reply
  29. Seneca Fell | June 2, 2006 at 3:45 pm

    #25 JESSE METCALFE IS NOT GAY! TAKE THAT BACK!

    Reply
  30. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | June 2, 2006 at 3:48 pm

    I once asked Colin Farrell for his number and he threw a phone at my head.
    Then he made #2 on my face.
    True story.

    Reply
  31. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | June 2, 2006 at 3:49 pm

    Wait, that might’ve been Russell Crowe.
    I get them confused.

    Reply
  32. pinky_nip | June 2, 2006 at 3:49 pm

    I once asked Colin for a ring and he slipped off his cockring and threw it in my martini.

    Reply
  33. dimestoredetective | June 2, 2006 at 3:54 pm

    great tits on the dark haired whore

    Reply
  34. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | June 2, 2006 at 3:55 pm

    I once asked Colin Farrell for a ring, and he put an onion ring in my g-string, slapped my ass, and told the DJ to play “Shout at the Devil” again. I think we should stop serving fried snacks at the Pink Pony.

    Reply
  35. DancingQueen | June 2, 2006 at 3:57 pm

    # 21 – I bet he smells just like me frosted lucky charms. If the leprechaun on the box smoked Marlboros and drank Jamison all day that is…

    Reply
  36. ellaminnowpea | June 2, 2006 at 3:59 pm

    hmmfph! Colin Farrell gave me a ring….around my bathtub! flithy, slimy bloke!

    Reply
  37. Toonlite | June 2, 2006 at 4:00 pm

    the thing on his finger is fungus….or Irish gold…turns green as it ages…which is a couple weeks….give or take a day or two…..

    Reply
  38. jackspratling | June 2, 2006 at 4:00 pm

    # 35 No, Colin smells like his frosted lucky charms– In otherwords, like the combined vaginal secretions of those two tartlets in the photo with him.

    Reply
  39. Italian Stallion | June 2, 2006 at 4:02 pm

    I once asked Colin for a ring, and he gave it to me……Then I kicked his ass and called him a faggot…….true story

    Reply
  40. sharkbite | June 2, 2006 at 4:04 pm

    Did he lose his chunky weight yet?

    http://www.wehateeverybody.com

    Reply
  41. eightiesbaby | June 2, 2006 at 4:07 pm

    Colin married, no way. He’s wearing that wedding band to attract even more girls. You know how the dirty ones are, they love a married man with money! Even if he is a man whore.

    Reply
  42. Sonya | June 2, 2006 at 4:07 pm

    Those girls look waaaay too happy, considering they’ve probably contracted multiple STD’s.

    Reply
  43. Fa Cube Itches | June 2, 2006 at 4:08 pm

    21: Unsurprisingly, he smells like beer and cigarettes. They filmed some of his scenes from Daredevil at a bar in Santa Monica, and he’d hang out there periodically. Nice enough guy, utbya otnay ootay ightbray, though.

    Reply
  44. Fa Cube Itches | June 2, 2006 at 4:09 pm

    er, utbay. Love trying to type with a wrist brace on.

    Reply
  45. PapaHotNuts | June 2, 2006 at 4:09 pm

    I asked him for a ring, and he gave me The Ring Two, which wasn’t nearly as good as the first.

    Reply
  46. Seneca Fell | June 2, 2006 at 4:12 pm

    #36, nice job.

    Reply
  47. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | June 2, 2006 at 4:16 pm

    I asked Colin Farrell to stop fucking my sister because I knew he had the AIDS, and he hit me over the head with a bottle of Jameson, which by proxy caused my ears to ring.

    Reply
  48. Wild Rose | June 2, 2006 at 4:17 pm

    Fresh story, fresh jokes…enthusiastic applause!

    Reply
  49. pinky_nip | June 2, 2006 at 4:19 pm

    @44: It’s hard to type with one hand in your pants.

    Reply
  50. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | June 2, 2006 at 4:25 pm

    I think Colin Farrell is married to the mob, and of course I mean the mob of sluts that follows him around wherever he goes leaving a trail of cooze like some big, sweaty, whore-slug.

    Reply

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