Coco is a national treasure

November 3rd, 2009 // 118 Comments

Now it’s time for everyone’s favorite part of the month where I mine Coco’s Twitter for high-quality examples of photographic excellence. And she literally has everything this time around: Rihanna, Ice-T with a ball gag, couches, giant breasted mermaids and, of course, a gratutious up-close shot of her super-butt. I swear, if Coco embodied the American spirit anymore, the next National Treasure movie would have to include Nicolas Cage solving JFK’s murder* after deciphering the secret location of Coco’s nipples. — Ha! Just kidding. She doesn’t have any.

*Spoiler Alert: It was the Freemasons! Beat you to it, Dan Brown. FACE!

Photos: Coco, Getty
superficial

  1. Melissa

    I can’t change your mind… but I can control mine :)

  2. B.Lacey

    Her thighs look like a drum stick thats from an overfed chicken. Sad.

  3. Nelly

    @11…. Yes, women may be catty but men like you make us that way. We’ve long fought for our rights to be equal and have a long road ahead of us.

  4. Nelly

    @33… Your grammar is so far beyond worse than anything I’ve seen and you should really reevaluate your own writing skills… dumbass.

  5. smartypants

    she needs a superfacial for postin these pics

  6. katie

    @pic #7… look at those shitty stumpy legs. how is this sexy at all? puke

  7. katie

    @pic #7…. look at those shitty stumpy legs..how is that sexy at all? puke

  8. nat

    Christ that’s gross. What is this????? Is it real or Photoshopped???

  9. nat

    “She looks hot. Has an amazing body and works her ass off to get that way and has good genetics. If you dont have the same luck then STFU or go to the gym and put the bon bons down. That means all of you”

    Genetics? What an evoluntionary leap? A mutation? There is nothing, nothing natural about pic 3. That’s just not right. I got major issues with any women who disfigures herself to attain any sort of ideal. And what the heck kind of ideal is she aiming for anyway?

  10. Rex

    You people are funny, Melissa gave a long winded speech just call her a whore it hurts less. @32 you have just insulted every blackman and redneck that like thoughs kind of women, and being a blackman you hurt my feelings. I hope your happy

    FYI I would bang the hell out of Coco

  11. nat

    Ok, I’m fixated on these. Its like a car crash. Is she trying to change race? Or is she trying to look like Jessica Rabbit? What happens to butt implants if they go bad like boob implants sometimes do….Its like trying to figure out why black holes exist. Its bringing out the physicist in me…

  12. twig

    While Melissa is working out her mommy issues, the normal heterosexual men are to Coco.

  13. twig

    While Melissa is working out her mommy issues, normal heterosexual men are busting one out to Coco.

  14. Melissa

    :)

  15. Since when are Rhi and Coco friends?? Strange bedfellows etc…..

  16. Anna

    I just reckon she’s funny lookin’

  17. NG

    Only a nigger could date that. She needs a huge cock to get between her ass cheeks.

  18. NG

    Oh, and Melissa, you need to get an ass implant and shut the fuck up. And iron my shirts.

  19. Aja

    She looks at least 50 years old.Gross.

  20. Emma

    Thank you Melissa for injecting some much-needed mental stimulation into the misogynistic cesspit otherwise known as a public comment system. From one chick to another, /salute. Your comments very eloquently state the problem.

  21. turd the third

    She is not a woman, she is a fat blob. What an ugly bitch. Why doesn’t melissa go down on her to help her feel better about herself. Maybe melissa could piss on her too, that will help her much better understand her place in life and get rid of any self esteem issues.

    Turd the psychologist Third

  22. Levi H.

    who is this “iced tea” person? he can’t be the same 1980s rapper that all the frat kids loved? could he?

  23. coco is bangin. Some like it built for comfort, i like em built for speed.

  24. That chick on the left is stuffed like sausage. Really nasty sausage.

  25. lilycat

    i want………….more………..cameltoe

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  27. ouioui

    clearly attractve to a *certain* type of man…
    i mean check out those implants… and im not talking about her tits.
    shes like a car wreck.. i cant look away!

  28. EWWWWWWW

    Talk about cankles.

  29. e-rock

    It looks like she has ass implants!!! I bet if we got a shot of Kim Kardashiskank laying on her stomach like this, we would get the same profile of her ass. ASS IMPLANTS are just wrong.

  30. e-rock

    It looks like she has ass implants!!! I bet if we got a shot of Kim Kardashiskank laying on her stomach like this, we would get the same profile of her ass. ASS IMPLANTS are just wrong.

  31. SO RIGHT

    @ 60 – Rex — if the shoe fits, dude….;)

  32. Ah HA!

    @10 hate to break it to you, she’s all implants. NONE of that was “good genes”. I have great genes, but nobody sees me stuffing my body cavities with silicone b/c it’s completely unnecessary.

    IMO, I think these pics are HILARIOUS…seriously. lol..she looks ridiculous. Like a blow up clown…hahahahahahaha.

  33. Rosie

    Coco dresses like that cause she wants to. As for any deep seated issues based on Melissa’s expert clinical assessment I call bullshit its all about Melissa. Just do an Urkel and ask “Did I do thatttt?” You did and you know it. #67/68 Being a BIG dick only shows how small yours is.

  34. nADA

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again

    Ice T is screaming gay and these pictures prove it.

    No normal man would hang out in public with his lady lover dressed / looking like that. These are bedroom costumes and shouldn’t be published for other’s eyes.

  35. DCMikeRotch

    Looking at her is like staring into a deli counter display, and not in a good way

  36. IKE

    Say what you want about CoCo, her old man (literally) and A LOT of other guys find her VERY attractive, but I’ve never seen or heard of her acting in appropriately WITH another guy (I don’t know how “appropriate” it is to twit half-naked pix of ones self, but ICE-T likes to flaunt her as much as she loves the attention).

    Her goal seems to be to make her husband happy. Not a bad wife in my book.

  37. Jibbly Biggins

    Wow….so are those butt pads? They make big silicone implants for asses now. I doubt she’s entirely like that genetically because fat tends to distribute over the thigh as well as the ass in “pear” shaped women. The tits are clearly fake but they look awesome – in a porn star sort of way.

    She looks great – not everyone should look the same.

  38. Mama Pinkus

    aw lay off Coco – sure she’s plastic, phony and more than a little pathetic but she doesn’t pretend to be anything else – she is what she is – and that lucky gal has a man who adores her

  39. She should work 4 BangBros… they need an update!!!

  40. Tess

    Who cares? I think she’s a pretty girl. So what if she looks a little different. Nobody is perfect. I seriously doubt she gives a shit what any of the haters think about her. She’s got a great life . Other people just need to GET A LIFE.

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  42. Amy

    Gah, I just don’t know if I can come to this site anymore. It really diminishes the average girl’s self-esteem.

    Peace.

  43. bete noir

    Gross. Gross. Gross. She’s beyond tacky, She is nothing short of disgusting. And Rihanna is a stupid young bitch. Nothing upstairs. Her goal in life is to be a magazine page.

  44. wowza

    i think if she DE-FLATED those boobs some and wore less makeup she might look really good ..i think she is trying to hard to b perfect and to be a black woman with the big ol booty ..get over it …ur white and quit trying so hard !!

  45. wowza

    i think if she DE-FLATED those boobs some and wore less makeup she might look really good ..i think she is trying to hard to b perfect and to be a black woman with the big ol booty ..get over it …ur white and quit trying so hard !!

  46. Eman Noi

    @19. Yeah, imagine the vocals…

    Actually, quite a few cougars sound like those – Tasmanian creatures at the brink of extinction, btw…

    It’s called orgasming (without inhibition of making spontaneous vocals).

  47. kati

    I do NOT like Coco or her unattractive husband. I think her build is a little manly, not sure where though. But her boobs, abs, waist, legs and all look good. I think she’s just a little hard around the edges. She could have a softer, more feminine look without all the makeup and in better clothes.

    BUT i agree with nbr 10. Women are very catty. I am a woman and I try to distance myself from the losers that say BLATANTLY jealous things. I have my opinions about her but I am not gonna call her a whore or say her boobs are fake or shes fat or start analyzing her esteem issues. I just think she can do better than Ice-T and she should tone it down some.

  48. I am a female and I think CoCo looks hot. I like her mostly because she is not scared to flaunt what she’s got and what she bought & paid for. I think she is actually cute not sexy…..

    Asses like that DO exist on white girls too. I know I am sitting on one inherited from my mother (WOW, my moms booty is amazing, LOL!)

  49. alanna

    The mermaid photo is the most flattering shot of her. (doesn’t look as fake as the other shots) She’s got one hell of an a$$ on her, and a nice little waist, but the overdone implants kill it for me.

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