Coco is a national treasure

November 3rd, 2009 // 118 Comments

Now it’s time for everyone’s favorite part of the month where I mine Coco’s Twitter for high-quality examples of photographic excellence. And she literally has everything this time around: Rihanna, Ice-T with a ball gag, couches, giant breasted mermaids and, of course, a gratutious up-close shot of her super-butt. I swear, if Coco embodied the American spirit anymore, the next National Treasure movie would have to include Nicolas Cage solving JFK’s murder* after deciphering the secret location of Coco’s nipples. — Ha! Just kidding. She doesn’t have any.

*Spoiler Alert: It was the Freemasons! Beat you to it, Dan Brown. FACE!

Photos: Coco, Getty
superficial

  1. Italian Stallion

    WRONG!! Coca is a National Treasure!!!!!

  2. OsakaSushi

    Wow. This woman is disgusting. Does anyone actually think she is attractive???
    She looks disfigured.
    And she looks like a midget in number 7. (Nobody get offended)

  3. pimp

    I would love to eat her ass…

  4. Plincoln21

    anyone know where you get bikini’s like that? I want one for my wife. she has a big beautiful ass (not as awesome as coco’s but nobody is perfect). any help would be appreciated

  5. What a great pic! One fat pig and a Samuel L. Jackson look-a-like. Never thought I’d see that in my life!

  6. Your Mom

    I would like to see a celebrity death match with Coco and Kim K fighting it out until one smothers the other one with a ginormous ass cheek of death.

    …followed by happy hour.

  7. She looks like Jessica Rabbit with a bad bleach job. The tensile strength on that pleather corset must be equivalent to the material used to build submarines to hold in those balloons.

  8. obvinot

    Ummm…. why is she standing next to the unfunniest Wayan’s brother?

  9. Melissa

    Her behaviour displays problematic identity esteem issues. Her need to create an over-indulgent, narcistic, ego fulfilling image of herself for herself, and others portrays a lack of self-attention and approval, which may lead to other psychological dependencies like drugs, alcohol and/or suicidal tendencies. No accusations here! Just a clear view of someone who needs help overcoming previous (childhood) obstacles relating to a disturbingly low and distorted self image.

  10. Tr8cthis

    Melissa arent all models attention seekers? Beyond that you cant judge how someone was brought up until you speak with them. Beyond that..I would eat her out till she ran out of bodily fluids. Pftsssssssss…..why are women so catty? I dont hear guys saying..damn that fucking Hugh Jackman and his disgusting abbs. Those have to be fake and disfigured. No we he did that on his own its ALL surgery! Or that damn Daniel Craig only looks good because he can afford personal chefs. He is making it hard for us regular guys that bastard!
    She looks hot. Has an amazing body and works her ass off to get that way and has good genetics. If you dont have the same luck then STFU or go to the gym and put the bon bons down. That means all of you

  11. Tr8cthis

    Melissa aren’t all models attention seekers? Beyond that you cant judge how someone was brought up until you speak with them. Beyond that..I would eat her out till she ran out of bodily fluids. Pftsssssssss…..why are women so catty? I dont hear guys saying..damn that fucking Hugh Jackman and his disgusting abbs. Those have to be fake and disfigured. No we he did that on his own its ALL surgery! Or that damn Daniel Craig only looks good because he can afford personal chefs. He is making it hard for us regular guys that bastard!
    She looks hot. Has an amazing body and works her ass off to get that way and has good genetics. If you dont have the same luck then STFU or go to the gym and put the bon bons down. That means all of you

  12. Syd Snow

    Suppressed Medical Records

    St. Catharines, Ontario

    – Privacy Commissioner of Canada (Sect. 25,26,28)
    - C.M.H.A – Brock University

  13. To Melissa

    Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

  14. Some Girl

    I’m fat, sit on my ass all day eating Bon Bons, never work out, have bad skin and a terrible hunchback, blah blah blah…
    And this bitch is GROSS.

  15. Melissa is Correct.

    Melissa is correct. The profile fits Coco’s issue(s) perfectly.

  16. david s

    melissa is right.

  17. Ing

    haha @14, but there are just as many ‘boys’ on here who do the same thing…..for the same reasons

  18. havoc

    I’ll bet this chick fucks like the Tasmanian Devil.

    Good for Ice….that’s a hot piece of ass.

    .

  19. havoc

    I’ll bet this chick fucks like the Tasmanian Devil.

    Good for Ice….that’s a hot piece of ass.

    .

  20. jason b

    right on melissa.

  21. pimp

    Melissa, if it cheers you up, I’ll eat your ass too…

  22. Scott

    HER BODY IS COMPLETELY DISPROPORTIONATE.

    SHE LOOKS LIKE ONE OF THOSE FUNNY LOOKING JAPANESE ANIME CHARACTERS.

  23. Ice-T

    Melissa I concurr

  24. Melissa

    No judgement here, in fact I am the last person to judge anyone. Evaluating an individuals behaviour based on a level of personal similarity, is not a negative appraisal, but a mere reflection of one-self in another. I seek attention in other ways, don’t we all? My output may be different than her’s but in the end we appear to share the same basic instincts, to be loved and accepted. People tend to deny themselves of these humanistic needs. Not to generalize about the entire population, but there seems to be a pattern among many people that I have spoke with, concerning a clear deficiency in love, either for themselves or from others.

  25. Guest

    @ 2

    I totally agree. Does anybody think she’s sexy? Not even sexy … attractive?
    She looks so cheap and dirty. So much make-up, weirdly shaped body ..
    a disgusting man … should I go on?

  26. Freebie

    Has anyone else picked up a virus from this site? (Not Coco). Seriously, I’ve logged on twice in the past week and both times a window came up saying I’ve been infected by a Trojan (not the kind Ice should use when f**king Coco) and then my computer went wacky.

    Any one else?

  27. Friend Request

    Melissa-

    Can we be friends. I appretiate a bright intelligent person. I am not.

    I like the way you think.

  28. arealcad

    I’d space dock that like Skylab 2.

  29. Emmy-Em

    Stupid fat cow. Holy Mary Mother of God what is wrong with everyone? I GET IT, sometimes, but this OLD piece of plastic garbage? I don’t think so. Nice fat knees. Face caked with makeup. Capped teeth paid for by giving BJ’s to old fat guys or worse, and she has fat flabby legs. You all know what I mean. And look at the pic where she is holding the camera as if to take her own picture. Nice carpet. Stained…with I don’t want to know what. Cheap. I mean, look at the place. Crappy dump in a bad neighborhood, and when she does wake up (come to) at “home”, she takes a ton of pills, puts on getups like this, and goes out looking for celebrities whose self esteem is as low as hers.She is sickening and pathetic. Not even funny.

  30. Emmy-Em

    Stupid fat cow. Holy Mary Mother of God what is wrong with everyone? I GET IT, sometimes, but this OLD piece of plastic garbage? I don’t think so. Nice fat knees. Face caked with makeup. Capped teeth paid for by giving BJ’s to old fat guys or worse, and she has fat flabby legs. You all know what I mean. And look at the pic where she is holding the camera as if to take her own picture. Nice carpet. Stained…with I don’t want to know what. Cheap. I mean, look at the place. Crappy dump in a bad neighborhood, and when she does wake up (come to) at “home”, she takes a ton of pills, puts on getups like this, and goes out looking for celebrities whose self esteem is as low as hers.She is sickening and pathetic. Not even funny.

  31. Melissa

    Yes you are. Intelligence is not limited to, nor defined by a surplus in education or by the language in which it may be expressed. Rather, I see the ability to perceive as keeping an open mind to others experiences along with our own and the way we choose to view them. Yes I would love to be friends.

  32. SO RIGHT

    I agree with Melissa. Only really trashy men like big fat slutty women. Men with taste and class rarely go for someone like that. Oh sure, they may do it once or twice, to experiment, but they would NEVER, EVER marry that.

  33. Emmy-Em

    If Melissa is so smart, everyone, why does she use such horrible grammar when she writes her “thesis” on why Coco is a stupid, money grubbing, fat, vapid, talentless creature?
    “Many people that I have SPOKE with” Melissa? Nice. You are sitting there, doing your little drone job, and you realized, at this site,” In the LAND OF THE BLIND, the ONE EYED MAN (or woman) is KING”.
    Your text was so boring and obvious. You’re not that smart. Go someplace and help the developmentally disabled or something. Getting your props from people (even me!) at this site is like beating a guy in a wheeler in the fifty yard dash. You have part of your brain, you have the advantage. Now go work on your grammar and let us slam this tub of lard the way she should be.

  34. the truth

    women who get on the internet to psychologically analyze the reason why a rapper’s wife dresses flamboyantly & a bit like a prostitute need to go outside more often & clean the cobwebs from out of their vagina. she’s rich, that’s the only reason why she acts like that. get over it.

  35. mizzle

    uhmm…. natural beauty? no… boobs are totally fake, if they were a little bit smaller id say she was hot as fuck, but since they look like macys day floats attached to her chest then im gonna have to say no. im still confused as to wether or not her butt is fake too, but i have no way of telling…either way. at leasts shes workin it, dont hate girls. id do the same if i was her.

  36. love ya

    I’m a chick that thinks CoCo is probably the hottest chick alive. I’m sorry, but she makes me horny. I’m not a lesbian, but if women really actually looked like this in real life, I would be a professional lesbian at my best. I’ve seen a few interviews with her and Ice-T and she seems like a really sweet person as well. People in here that are judging her and pissing all over themselves, need to GROW THE FUCK UP.

  37. fleis

    @ 34. i totally agree. if rapper’s wives didn’t act like this all the time, what the hell else would they be doing? making significant contributions to society??

  38. denne

    her body is ridiculous and she’s in amazing shape… even if it’s fake on both ends she keeps it lookin good. i wish my booty shot photos could look half that nice… i’d be embarrassed to take the pics my damn self. and tr8cthis is right… all models are attention whores… you have to be

  39. Is that a nipple?

    it looks like part of her nipple is popping out in pic number 8

  40. meh!

    very classy, very!!!

  41. Scrubbing Bubble #5

    Rihanna’s hairline could scrub my toilet.

  42. Delgo

    I’d rankle those cankles.

  43. TheJoker07

    Hot!

  44. say good night to the Rough guy!

    Congratulation on your new discovery Fish…

  45. Sweekes

    She looks like a bloated mermaid who ate too much sea salt.

  46. zuzuspetals

    She’s disgusting.

  47. de

    um…it doesn’t even look human..

  48. Txzen

    Funny looking anime character more like Hot and Bangable Anime character, I am not sure a tentacle monster could handle her.

  49. Hey i must say looking so funny. I would love to know back story of these shots.She is so much fatty and yet she is wearing such kind of dress. Trying to look sexy but she could not.

  50. Ass

    her ass in that 3rd pic!!

    OMG FAPFAPFAPFAP

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