Coco & Ice-T Renewed Their Vows

June 6th, 2011 // 76 Comments

Do you, T of Ice, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, through sickness and in health, through tearing that ass up and her being all tired and shit but she still let you look at a titty while you rub one out, for as long as you both shall live? (Beautiful vows, sir, very well written.)”

The following photos that your mind’s still attempting to process, are Ice-T and Coco celebrating their tenth wedding anniversary by renewing their vows at The W Hotel in Hollywood over the weekend. Except for some reason they invited Tila Tequila because that’s always the kind of omen you want want hanging around on your wedding day. At that point, they might as well have stood at the altar and yelled, “I want a divorce,” in each others faces because that’s how this story is going to end. It’s like inviting that woman who drowned her kids in the tub to your baby shower, yet somehow worse.

Adding… Ever wonder if Coco was birthed by a giant-breasted cyborg warrior from the future? She was.

Photo: Splash News, WENN


  1. Cock Dr

    Well I’m convinced.
    It’s twoo luv.
    It has nothing to do with money, fame or enormous implants.

  2. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows Tina Austin
    Commented on this photo:

    Sarah Connor just shit her pants.

  3. Michelle

    A blow up doll would have been cheaper and made of less plastic.

    • Cock Dr

      Yes, but after Ice-T went through the first dozen he had the genius idea to build his own customized humpgal.
      Note the tough leathery outer shell, which means he can take the Coco out in all weather conditions, and it has proved far more enduring than anything else currently on the market.

  4. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t get it. Is Sinbad their usher or something?

  5. adolf hitler

    no ass = not coco

  6. SteveG

    Beth Bounty Hunter looks awful.

    • Hugh Gentry

      Beth’s tits back in the day were 3 times the size of Coco’s…and they were all real!! Too bad she got them reduced.

  7. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows Tina Austin
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    If anyone wanted to (they wouldn’t) I’m SURE they could play “Chopsticks” on those teeth.

  8. Richard McBeef

    coco and tila were carved from the same block of high density polyethylene and not inviting family to your special day always causes drama.

  9. feminist barbie

    always the picture of understated elegance that coco. what is up with the ginormous titties? that isn’t necessary. i would still pay some dollars to motorboat them though.

  10. Tila Tequila’s presence makes sense – she was there to hold the train in the ceremony, and be the train in the after-party.

  11. philipp

    anyone ever notice they are like one of the few couples with no drama or breaking up issues? =/

    • Is this next year’s sexiest chest bump
      or maybe best kriss kross revival
      definitely hottest onscreen couple…wait, who are we talking about again? Stupid ads.

  12. Abby Normal

    Where exactly does a person order a wedding dress for a Volkswagon?

  13. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows Tina Austin
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve never seen someone’s head in the shape of a hexagon before.

  14. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows
    Commented on this photo:

    Not my cup of Tea, but I have never been cold as Ice

  15. TomFrank

    I think Coco and Tila Tequila are remaking the 1988 movie “Twins.”

  16. FitnessMe

    Everything about her screams out CHEAP!!

  17. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL, thats a good one!

  18. Eddie Baby

    Vow renewal is the marital kiss of death in reality shows.

  19. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows Tina Austin
    hobo killer
    Commented on this photo:

    NOW I see where Coco got her naturally large, round ass from.

  20. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows Tina Austin
    hobo killer
    Commented on this photo:

    NOW I see where Coco got her naturally large, round ass from.

  21. NeNe

    I’m sorry, the only way I would hit that, if I was a guy would be from the back with the lights off and a blindfold on. This chick is super gross.

    • Kelley

      Way gross … I think she did the same thing as Anne Nicole Smith, which is … she had two implants stuffed into each, er, tit. It’s vile, and so are her ass implants, and her legs … gah.

  22. mark


  23. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows
    Commented on this photo:

    I know I should make fun of these two, but they just might be the most compatible couple on the face of the planet. It’s like Ice-T is Garfield and her ass is made of lasagna.

  24. It had to be said

    This is probably a good idea. Coco is at least 40% new parts since they got married. One more good surgery and they could slip below the 50% threshold. I think in California they are divorced once that happens.

  25. After the ceremony, Coco got their vows tattooed on her ass. And the best man’s speech, a transcript of the ceremony, the entire holy bible, War and Peace and the Oxford English Dictionary. Luckily, she still has another cheek for their next vow renewal.

  26. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows Tila Tequila
    Commented on this photo:

    And yes, I absolutely still would :)

  27. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows Tina Austin
    Jock McCrock
    Commented on this photo:

    does anybody else find the mismatch in this picture utterly terrifying?

  28. Venom

    Time for him to trade her in for a new model.
    This one is busted.

  29. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows
    Jock McCrock
    Commented on this photo:

    her mother’s rack looks better than hers — how did THAT happen?

    And anyone else transfixed by the capsular contracture at the top of her right breast? Ice-T doesn’t so much love this woman as have an out-of-control breast fetish.

  30. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows Tina Austin
    Faux toes
    Commented on this photo:

    Imagine her breath.

  31. I'm a Dope

    Soo….no one’s said it….and I can’t stand it not being said even though it can’t be more unorignal and cliche:

    I’m Coo Coo for CoCo’s puffs.

  32. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, those wax figurines look really lifelike!

  33. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows
    Commented on this photo:

    What a friggin joke……blech!!!

  34. tlmck

    Ice-T is legally blind right?

  35. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows Tina Austin
    Commented on this photo:

    “It can’t form complex machines. Guns and explosives have chemicals, moving parts, it doesn’t work that way, but it can form solid metal shapes.”

  36. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows
    Commented on this photo:

    Renewed means re-inflated.

  37. Susan

    i feel like i’m watching that show ‘my big fat gypsy wedding.’

  38. Johnny Cage

    She’s married again, looks like I won’t be fapping to her anymore.

  39. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows Tila Tequila
    Commented on this photo:

    so…the only two people who showed up to this thing were Tila Tequila and CoCo’s mom?? interesting…

  40. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows Tina Austin
    Commented on this photo:

    well… there’s our answer! Coco’s boobs ARE REAL!! She must take after her mother’s side of the family…

  41. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows
    Commented on this photo:

    i wish there was some way we could tell fake boobs from real boobs… ugh! i can never tell!

  42. Kate Middleton, eat your heart out. This is how royalty wears a wedding dress.

  43. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows Tina Austin
    Commented on this photo:


  44. Pepe Lopez

    Did her jawline cut the wedding cake?

  45. the captain

    be honest: WHY, the hell, NOT?

  46. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows
    Commented on this photo:

    They look superb! They are the epitome of class and elegance. Forget the royal couple Will and Kate these two are just as good. Why wasn’t this televised?

  47. welldoneson

    Wow, does that guy with Ice-T ever have big tits!

  48. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows Tila Tequila
    Doc Schweinstrudel
    Commented on this photo:

    their tanning bed baked turkey butt tits look gross

  49. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows Tila Tequila
    hobo killer
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t anyone ever tell her that only the bride can wear whore, I mean white, to a wedding.

  50. Coco Ice-T Renew Vows
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh stop it. A hollywood couple still going strong after 10 yrs is amazing. I wish them all the best. They still seem very happy together.

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