This Is Who Goes To The Second Week of Coachella

April 23rd, 2012 // 215 Comments
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Because every child’s first memory should be his mother tonguing ecstasy into his mouth.

True story: I have absolutely zero taste in music and/or sense of irony, so I just assumed Coachella was already over, but it turns out there’s a second weekend, so here’s all the “celebrities” who showed up for that. And you can really tell it was an exciting time when you see such famous faces as Russell Simmon’s daughter, that baby Alicia Silverstone pukes into, and last but not least, Melanie Griffith. So just assume Katy Perry was there to suck face with her new boyfriend because she just assumed the paps would get bored and go home, and then Alexander Skarsgard fucked everybody. Everybody.

Photos: Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Zoe Kravitz Penn Badgely Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    How long has this douche been growing his facial hair just for this event?

  2. Alicia Silverstone Bear Blu Christpher Jarecki Coachella
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    In a single picture everything that is pathetic about Coachella and Hollywood itself.

    It makes me want to barf into her mouth.

  3. Nikki Reed Paul McDonald Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    OK….

    Now you’re just making up names.

  4. Melanie Griffith Coachella
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    The epitome of desperate and trying too hard to cling to any self respect.

  5. Joe Jonas Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    ….my endless love…..

  6. David Faustino Coachella
    stacy
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s ButtWiper B.

  7. Nick Simmons Kathryn Pingley Coachella
    stacy
    Commented on this photo:

    She is rocking some kind of outfit under that see through covering.

  8. Buck

    Looks like a bunch of obama fans

  9. Joe Jonas Coachella
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    (in lispy voice)

    “Damn it, she said the frappucinos were right over here!”

  10. Joe Jonas Coachella
    mayd
    Commented on this photo:

    Farva?

  11. David Faustino Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Still rockin’ that “Grandmaster B” thing. Good for him.

  12. Melanie Griffith Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs to take a long, hard look in the mirror to see how much she doesn’t belong here. Oh, that’s right. She broke them all.

  13. Emma Roberts Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    I feel sorry for her missing out on the anatomy lottery. She makes Kelly Ripa or Mena Suvari look like Sofia Vergara in comparison.

  14. Joe Jonas Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Grew the facial hair to distract people from noticing he dresses like a little girl.

  15. Alexander Skarsgard Coachella
    swalton
    Commented on this photo:

    And as he sneezed womans ovaries everywhere lit up, as it was written, as it will be.

  16. Alicia Silverstone Bear Blu Christpher Jarecki Coachella
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Goodness! Alicia really did not age well! And she is not even 40! Damn why so ugly? You know youth really is a treasure! This bitch lost it and now her face looks broke!

  17. Joe Manganiello Shirtless Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Sweet mother of mercy … the things I would do to that man. Or better yet, what I would let him to do me.

  18. Alicia Silverstone Bear Blu Christpher Jarecki Coachella
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    You know, youth really is a treasure… This bitch lost it and now her face looks, er broke! Damn ugly mofo!

  19. Alicia Silverstone Bear Blu Christpher Jarecki Coachella
    Joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Rockin’ Robin. Tweet, tweet.

  20. Alexander Skarsgard Coachella
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously what is up with this guy that people are going crazy about? Is it me or does his head look like it does not belong to that body?

  21. Dita Von Teese Kelly Osbourne Coachella
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Look, we’re sisters!

  22. Katy Perry New Boyfriend Robert Ackroyd Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like Gary Busey circa 1980before-he-lost-his-mind

  23. Angela Simmons Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Son of a bitch. Now Minnie Mouse is a hipster, too?!?!?

  24. Joe Manganiello Shirtless Coachella
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok, crazy face, get with the rest of the program…

  25. Angela Simmons Coachella
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok, if you keep posting pics of nobodys, Im going back to Facebook!

  26. Nick Simmons Kathryn Pingley Coachella
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    No! go a little lower!

  27. Emma Roberts Coachella
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    she needs some natty tattoos to complete her ensemble

  28. Melanie Griffith Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hello boils & ghouls…”

  29. Nick Simmons Kathryn Pingley Coachella
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    Nick was cute as a gangly teenager but it is crystal clear he is going to morph into a taller version of his fugly dad

  30. Joe Jonas Coachella
    Jonas Grumby
    Commented on this photo:

    “Finally Joe, we can wear matching bracelets without raising questions!”

  31. Alicia Silverstone Bear Blu Christpher Jarecki Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Good to see someone finally one up those elitist parents who bring their babies into a bar; well done!

  32. Dita Von Teese Kelly Osbourne Coachella
    Viewer
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, Ozzy with lipstick.

  33. Rachelle Lafevre Coachella
    LoraLeigh
    Commented on this photo:

    Twilight chick, first movie only…. yes I hate myself for knowing this.

  34. Joe Manganiello Shirtless Coachella
    Jasshole
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does that seemingly black man in the right of the picture have white legs?!?

  35. Alexander Skarsgard Coachella
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s wondering how many women he can bang in a weekend.

    And the answer? Infinity.

  36. David Faustino Coachella
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    You would think he would be too busy following Christina Applegate and Ed O’Neil around asking them for a guest spot on their new shows.

  37. Katy Perry New Boyfriend Robert Ackroyd Coachella
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    I would have more respect for her if she was with Dan Ackroyd.

  38. Alicia Silverstone Bear Blu Christpher Jarecki Coachella
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    It takes a lot of balls to walk around Coachella barefoot.

    Smelly, grimy, unbathed balls.

  39. Emma Roberts Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    This is one of those festivals that needs to consider a dress code.

    “Please DO NOT dress like an idiot. Thank you!”

  40. Rachelle Lafevre Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    I like how it says ‘celebrities’ at Coachella. That’s funny.

  41. Melanie Griffith Coachella
    BarB
    Commented on this photo:

    Just be happy that Courtney Love is only attending and not singing this year

  42. Rachelle Lafevre Coachella
    Dugger
    Commented on this photo:

    Carrot top is really going too far on his body development.

  43. Katy Perry New Boyfriend Robert Ackroyd Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “I CRUSH YOUR HEAD! Okay maybe not, but at least your forehead…”

  44. David Faustino Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    DSL? What is he, the face of hipster Geek Squad?

  45. Alicia Silverstone Bear Blu Christpher Jarecki Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    I just threw up a little, but in some random kid’s mouth.

  46. Katy Perry New Boyfriend Robert Ackroyd Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “Can I borrow your underwear for 15 minutes?”

  47. Emma Roberts Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice bead curtains. Your shirt is interesting too.

  48. Busy Philipps Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey zebra tits! The bathrooms are over there!”

  49. Alicia Silverstone Bear Blu Christpher Jarecki Coachella
    BarB
    Commented on this photo:

    Bear is eager for his next feeding of regurgitated hallucinogenics.

  50. Joe Jonas Coachella
    cubegleamer
    Commented on this photo:

    This is how rich and famous looks?

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