This Is Who Goes To The Second Week of Coachella

April 23rd, 2012 // 215 Comments
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Because every child’s first memory should be his mother tonguing ecstasy into his mouth.

True story: I have absolutely zero taste in music and/or sense of irony, so I just assumed Coachella was already over, but it turns out there’s a second weekend, so here’s all the “celebrities” who showed up for that. And you can really tell it was an exciting time when you see such famous faces as Russell Simmon’s daughter, that baby Alicia Silverstone pukes into, and last but not least, Melanie Griffith. So just assume Katy Perry was there to suck face with her new boyfriend because she just assumed the paps would get bored and go home, and then Alexander Skarsgard fucked everybody. Everybody.

Photos: Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Alexander Skarsgard Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Drunk with power off his sexual exploits, he gleans into the distance wondering just how many women he can impregnate in a 10 mile radius…

  2. Katy Perry New Boyfriend Robert Ackroyd Coachella
    Donald Duck
    Commented on this photo:

    High as a kite.

  3. David Faustino Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Bud Bundy met Crystal Meth…

  4. Rachelle Lafevre Coachella
    Donald Duck
    Commented on this photo:

    Who?

  5. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Coachella
    JG
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s the only girl that can show her bra and be called gorgeous and not slutty….so beautiful

  6. Once again, the terrorists have a perfect place to drop a bomb and they blow it.

  7. Emma Roberts Coachella
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Photoshop? Something seems off here.

  8. Katy Perry New Boyfriend Robert Ackroyd Coachella
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s Rebound Guy.

  9. Emma Roberts Coachella
    Kurryspice
    Commented on this photo:

    I know, i smell it too. Is it coming from the sweaty pits behind me, or the stench of my ridiculous outfit?

  10. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Coachella
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess it was really hot out there.

  11. Who is that douchebag that is wearing a douchebag? Oh, that’s just Christopher Jarecki.

  12. Dita Von Teese Kelly Osbourne Coachella
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Picnic time at the clown school.

  13. Joe Manganiello Shirtless Coachella
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Those moobs look so fine they must be fakers.

  14. Joe Jonas Coachella
    Kurryspice
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Joe, do you think anyone will notice if we hold hands?

  15. Zoe Kravitz Penn Badgely Coachella
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That wolverine facial hair is disturbing.
    And probably very scratchy too.

  16. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Coachella
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    “Omigod–please tell me that hot little dark boy is checking me out!”

  17. Busy Philipps Coachella
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    You do need attitude to carry off those horizontal stripes.

  18. Katy Perry New Boyfriend Robert Ackroyd Coachella
    hmna
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s up with the Ray Romano photobomb?

  19. Katy Perry New Boyfriend Robert Ackroyd Coachella
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Rebound Guy is kinda funny looking.

  20. Joe Manganiello Shirtless Coachella
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    He almost needs a bra.
    It’s not often I say this, but those moobs are too big.

  21. Alexander Skarsgard Coachella
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess ladies don’t care about a receding hairline ?

  22. Katy Perry New Boyfriend Robert Ackroyd Coachella
    Sizzle
    Commented on this photo:

    God, you could play a game of darts on Rob Ackroyd’s chin.

  23. Emma Roberts Coachella
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    So much bad stuff going on here…..

  24. Dita Von Teese Kelly Osbourne Coachella
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Interesting duo.

  25. Katy Perry New Boyfriend Robert Ackroyd Coachella
    diego
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope your Dad wasn’t too mad about Ferris Bueller wrecking his Ferrari!

  26. kimmykimkim

    There’s a second week of Coachella? There shouldn’t even be a first week.

  27. David Faustino Coachella
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess Coachella is a place you don’t have to be embarassed about your shirt advertising your natural-born ability of wang mouthification.

  28. Emma Roberts Coachella
    diego
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice stomach cellulite

  29. Angela Simmons Coachella
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    You guys know that she has a sister that is way hotter, right ?

  30. Lucas Haas Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured: Danny Glover still stalking him.

  31. Alicia Silverstone Bear Blu Christpher Jarecki Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mmmm…..you smell like mommy’s mouth.”

  32. Alicia Silverstone Bear Blu Christpher Jarecki Coachella
    God is Black
    Commented on this photo:

    The kid is cute but Bear Blu?Like Jerry said “Seven? Yeah I can see that 7 beatings a day and 7 yrs to life in jail!”

  33. Joe Manganiello Shirtless Coachella
    hijkmno
    Commented on this photo:

    now THIS guy? puts that fem skarsgard to shame.

    • ACS999

      you have an exclusive taste :) he looks like he can handle both of us at once. I want to explore every crevice of his body with my tongue. yammy

  34. Emma Roberts Coachella
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    This is a tatoo artist’s wet dream. A perfectly smooth, white canvas that has never felt the touch of needle and ink.
    Maybe hippie sperm, but not needles or ink.

  35. Emma Roberts Coachella
    God is Black
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it statuary rape if there’s no tits and the short shorts are already open for an assault?

  36. Alex

    Christ. There’s two weeks of it?

  37. Busy Philipps Coachella
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Anna Nicole Smith looks…..better

  38. Emma Roberts Coachella
    keijo
    Commented on this photo:

    doh, she forgot her boobs home :(

  39. Angela Simmons Coachella
    Ben Dover
    Commented on this photo:

    who?

  40. Melanie Griffith Coachella
    hijkmno
    Commented on this photo:

    isn’t there an age limit to go to these things?

  41. Alicia Silverstone Bear Blu Christpher Jarecki Coachella
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Look at these hipster douches… being fed regurgitated food might be the least of her kid’s worries.

  42. Joe Manganiello Shirtless Coachella
    Insider
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s something I’d like to rub across that washboard– my beaver.

  43. Emma Roberts Coachella
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Now this young man here has a future in modelling !
    I mean, he’s almost…pretty.

  44. Joe Jonas Coachella
    Mike Walker
    Commented on this photo:

    Double douche hats.

  45. Katy Perry New Boyfriend Robert Ackroyd Coachella
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    “He said he would pleasure us both equally. Said his name was Skarsgard”.

  46. Lucas Haas Coachella
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess wearing sweatpants seemed like a good idea earlier in the day.

  47. Zoe Kravitz Penn Badgely Coachella
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “Do you like this? I put a red dot on my forehead. But I’m not religious. Where’d you get that shirt?”

    “The homeless guy in the beginning of “Terminator”.”

  48. David Faustino Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    20 degree hat rotation is so 2011.

  49. Joe Jonas Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Bottom!

  50. Rachelle Lafevre Coachella
    stacy
    Commented on this photo:

    Agreed..Who? Maybe she sucked the photographer off to get put in this set.

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