‘Whee! We’re Rich And On Drugs Just Like Hippies! F*ck You, Dad!’

“Shit. Did I lock the Beamer?”
“Hehe! I traded it for acid. Do me in that clown skull!”

Here’s the rest of the first weekend of Coachella where rich people dressed like an American Eagle ad and stuffed themselves so full of drugs they forgot they had children and/or nothing but a swimsuit on. At one point, I’m almost positive Alessandra Ambrosio broke into a house. Of course, the true party people were Robsten and Leonardo DiCaprio who showed up to an outdoor concert swarming with paparazzi then walked around scowling that their picture was being taken. Fight the power, yo! *buys glow sticks and Honest Tea from Pepsi tent* Counter-culture movement can’t be stopped!

Photos: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News