‘Whee! We’re Rich And On Drugs Just Like Hippies! F*ck You, Dad!’

April 15th, 2013 // 199 Comments
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“Shit. Did I lock the Beamer?”
“Hehe! I traded it for acid. Do me in that clown skull!”

Here’s the rest of the first weekend of Coachella where rich people dressed like an American Eagle ad and stuffed themselves so full of drugs they forgot they had children and/or nothing but a swimsuit on. At one point, I’m almost positive Alessandra Ambrosio broke into a house. Of course, the true party people were Robsten and Leonardo DiCaprio who showed up to an outdoor concert swarming with paparazzi then walked around scowling that their picture was being taken. Fight the power, yo! *buys glow sticks and Honest Tea from Pepsi tent* Counter-culture movement can’t be stopped!

Photos: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Alessandra Ambrosio Coachella
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Honey, it’s not 420 yet.

  2. Hilary Duff: Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s demonstrating one of the mouth techniques that helped her get a kid in the first place.

  3. Sophia Bush Coachella
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy Jon Hamm she’s packin!

  4. Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart Coachella
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Slow down! We’re not done pretending to be a couple yet! Our contract with Summit Entertainment lasts until ‘Twilight: The Complete Saga’ 8-disc Blue-ray is released!”

  5. Tallulah Willis Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    She and Lindsay Lohan are competing for the “Woman under 30 with the lowest ass” championship.

  6. Phoebe Price Coachella
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Not as funny as when she was photo-bombed by an auto-wreck, but I’ll allow it.

  7. Vanessa Hudgens Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “Did you see the line at the Port-a-Potties? Gerard Butler must be back this year.”

  8. Whitney Port Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s pretty cute.

  9. Tallulah Willis Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    White People!

  10. Tallulah Willis Coachella
    Kel
    Commented on this photo:

    “..and i was like…guess my name or I’m taking your baby…”

  11. I’m waiting for the fucking posers to crash my morning bong hit and bowl of fruity pebbles.

  12. Julianne Hough Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “This is sex, right? Just squatting and bouncing up and down in the air?… Well, Ryan says this is sex. My brother, too.”

  13. Vanessa Hudgens Austin Butler Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “You, uh, forgot to put the rest of your clothes on.”
    “I know … big boy.”

  14. Leonardo DiCaprio Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “Would the owner of the Black Model T Ford please report to guest services. Your lights are on.”

  15. Whitney Port Coachella
    Diet Mountain Dew
    Commented on this photo:

    Lawdy, she ugly.

  16. Phoebe Price Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Over Under on sets of fake tits in this picture: 1.5

  17. Tallulah Willis Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    SCRAM! These nobodies are more attractive than us!

  18. Joe Jonas Alessandra Ambrosio AnnaSophia Robb Nick Jonas Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    If you were, Nickie, your hand would be lower.

  19. Tallulah Willis Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    I can almost see her bieber.

  20. Tallulah Willis Coachella
    caley
    Commented on this photo:

    “Coachella burritos, you only rent ‘em, know what I mean?!”

  21. Tallulah Willis Coachella
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone def took too much

  22. Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart Coachella
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    You know this festival has lost all semblance of its original purpose when tourists showed up on the sidelines and take pictures (see fat guy in Hawaiian shirt)

  23. White people attend concerts like, black people attend concerts like this.

  24. Danny DeVito, Melanie Griffith
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look who’s trading up, Rhea. Okay, strictly in a sense of height only. But still…”

  25. Diane Kruger Joshua Jackson Coachella
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “I need to amber you. There’s no time to discuss.”

  26. Rumer Willis Coachella
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s Coachella without a Willis girl running around in shitty jean shorts?

  27. Joe Jonas Alessandra Ambrosio AnnaSophia Robb Nick Jonas Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Methinks Nick Jonas doth protest too much.

  28. Tallulah Willis Coachella
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    (Jesus christ…..when IS Barack Obama going to start doing what he said he would?)

  29. Alessandra Ambrosio Coachella
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I caught a buzz just from vierwing the photo.

  30. Tallulah Willis Coachella
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    (Having rolled my face off more than once, I’m willing to guess their conversation went something like this)

    “Seriously, I’m not freaking out…..there’s people that keep taking our photo, it’s not the ecstasy…”

    “Where?”

    “Over there. Those people are taking our photo.”

    “Where?”

    “I think those people are following us taking pictures”

    “Who is?”

  31. Julianne Hough Coachella
    chupacabra
    Commented on this photo:

    FUCKING HIPSTERS! DIE!

  32. Hilary Duff: Coachella
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “OMG Hillary…..I just banged Gerald Butler in a porta-potty and my pussy is ON FIRE….”

  33. Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart Coachella
    chupacabra
    Commented on this photo:

    Those fuckers are still together?

  34. Vanessa Hudgens Coachella
    damien
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay, I get it, this is woodstock for rich people.

  35. Alessandra Ambrosio Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    This is a picture of her lying down right but turned vertical as “light it up man lets get chinese eyes!”

  36. Alessandra Ambrosio Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah, the seductive uncoordinated mating dance of the “newly” single

  37. Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck me,whale alert bottom left.

  38. Julianne Hough Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah, the seductive uncoordinated mating dance of the “newly” single

  39. Hilary Duff Mike Comrie Coachella
    chupacabra
    Commented on this photo:

    She married a potato.

  40. Julianne Hough Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    No Julianne, you have to show off the other orifice, that’s just the one Ryan likes.

  41. Leonardo DiCaprio Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    How unusual Leo surrounded by Pussy, yawn.

  42. Rumer Willis Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    …and there goes my Daisy Dukes fetish.

  43. Alessandra Ambrosio Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m pretty sure a gangbang followed this picture

  44. Alessandra Ambrosio Coachella
    Cher X
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoa….that was some….goooood shit….

  45. Tallulah Willis Coachella
    Mr. Sensitive
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, princess, why the long ass?

  46. Alessandra Ambrosio Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAINNSSSS!!!! I HAVE NO BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINNNNSSS!!!!

  47. Kellan Lutz Coachella
    chupacabra
    Commented on this photo:

    TRIPPIN

  48. Cher X

    So…. everyone’s bathed, primped, wearing makeup and no one’s covered in mud.

    It’s NOT even close to Woodstock. Just stop.

  49. Julianne Hough Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Lady, you’re supposed to that in the port-o-johns over there by the malaria pit.

  50. Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    -”Roobeeeert!!! Um, like, um, hold uuuuup!!! People will, um, like, figure outyou don’t like me!!!!”
    -”Get away from me cunt!”

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