Rich People Pretending To Be Groovy Hippies, Man

April 14th, 2014 // 291 Comments

Now that we’ve seen Leonardo DiCaprio dancing, the continued effects of lupus on the mind, and British on Dutch foreplay, here’s the rest of the rich people pretending to be earth spirits or some stupid shit they told themselves on the jet ride over. In their defense, they only get 30-40 weeks a year to relax, so they earned this. They earned this.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN, Xposure/AKM-GSI

superficial

  1. Steven Tyler Headband Multiple Accessories Coachella
    DNG
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit what the fuck?

  2. Lindsay Lohan Pale Skin Legs Slit Dress Coachella
    Crack is Whack
    Commented on this photo:

    She couldn’t afford a ticket so she snuck in with the VIP waitstaff. Looks like her boss is pissed she lost her pants.

  3. Gwen Stefani Pregnant Belly Coachella
    Cher X
    Commented on this photo:

    Nah, she’s just naturally skinny with a ton of botox. Last time I saw her give an interview, poor thing couldn’t even move her lips.

  4. Alexander Skarsgard Sticking Out Tongue Taking To Random Chick Coachella
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s not falling for that “glamouring” bullshit his kind is known to do

  5. Ireland Baldwin Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt Leather Pants Coachella
    Cher X
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone must have had blue balls.

  6. Amber Rose Fat Thighs Short Shorts Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Nasty

  7. Slash

    It does seem like the biggest douchebag convention in America (unless it’s an election year, then it’s a distant second to the Republican convention).

  8. Jared Leto Hawaiin Shirt Jesus Hair And Beards Coachella
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “I am the light and the way; believe in me and you shall never die…unless you get into some bad molly, cause that can TOTALLY happen here.”

  9. Evan Peters Cutoff Jean Shorts Emma Roberts Legs Daisy Dukes Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks fucking terrible

  10. Justin Bieber Hugging Chancelor Bennett Shirtless Overalls Onstage Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “Dad, I’m kind of in the middle of something now, okay?”

  11. Vanessa Hudgens Cleavage Legs Daisy Dukes Coachella
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t this all she’s done since last Coachella, just yoga her body into shape so she can look good for this Coachella? Not that I’m complaining…

  12. Alexander Skarsgard Sticking Out Tongue Taking To Random Chick Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Hamm on his left?!? Dear God! RUN!!!!

  13. tom

    Quick, someone nuke that place while they’re all gathered!

  14. Fergie Legs Daisy Dukes Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    At least she tried to hide her face

  15. Kellan Lutz Posing With Fat Guys Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    I got news for you guys, those are dykes!

  16. Kendall Jenner Kylie Jenner Nipples Butt Wedgie Booty Shorts Coachella
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    I have worked for the security company that does Coachella and I can tell you most of them have no idea who anyone famous is, so imagine this photo went like this:

    Kendall: “Are you going to let us in? We’re kind of a big deal.”
    Security: “Who are you?”
    Kylie: “Um, we’re Kardashians.”
    Security: “The what?”
    Kendall: “….we’re with Lorde.”
    Security: “Eh, whatever, go ahead.”

  17. Kellan Lutz Posing With Fat Guys Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Corey Feldman called to say, “You’re not doing it right.”

  18. Steven Tyler Headband Multiple Accessories Coachella
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    What the fuck is Jack Sparrow’s dad doing there?

  19. Hayley Roberts David Hasselhoff Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “He thinks this is his surprise birthday party, and I’ve never seen him happier. When we get to the McDonald’s Rave tent, and he practically has an orgasm, that’s when Jerry’s gonna shoot him in the head.”

  20. Rose McGowan Midriff Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Why?

  21. Ireland Baldwin Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt Leather Pants Coachella
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, she totally dumped her surfer boyfriend to focus on her career…

  22. Ireland Baldwin Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt Leather Pants Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Papa Smurf’s best day at Coachella, ever.

  23. Scout Willis Sloppy Cleavage Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s the pretty one.

  24. Tallulah Willis Cleavage Bra See Through Skirt Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Armageddon outta here!

  25. Ireland Baldwin Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt Leather Pants Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ireland, there were 16 tabs of Molly in my purse. Have you seen them?”

  26. Sarah Hyland Legs Short Shorts Coachella
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Every time I look at this girl I have a reflex action that makes me look around for Chris Hansen

  27. Ireland Baldwin Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt Leather Pants Coachella
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    NIPPLES

  28. Katy Perry Legs Daisy Dukes Green Hair Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    The only way her and Selena Gomez can go to Coachella is by buying a ticket!

  29. Busta Rhymes Fat Belly Holding Bottle Onstage Coachella
    cajunhawk
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he just got told that the McRib is back…

  30. Ireland Baldwin Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt Leather Pants Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Homely and trashy.

  31. Joe Jonas Disgusted By Girlfriend Blanda Eggenschwiler Kiss Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    This photo says it all.

  32. Katy Perry Legs Daisy Dukes Green Hair Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, she got regular real quick.

  33. Lindsay Lohan Pale Skin Legs Slit Dress Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Mexican cartel protecting their #1 client.

  34. Alexander Skarsgard Sticking Out Tongue Taking To Random Chick Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “Goddamit I am pregnant. How am I going to break this to my husband?”

  35. Vanessa Hudgens Cleavage Legs Daisy Dukes Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “Give me all your hippy gear, all of it”

  36. Ireland Baldwin Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt Leather Pants Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    And that is why you never blow a guy that Lindsay blew first.

  37. Kendall Jenner Kylie Jenner Nipples Butt Wedgie Booty Shorts Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    About an IQ of 90 between the two of them combined.

  38. Kendall Jenner Kylie Jenner Nipples Butt Wedgie Booty Shorts Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    16 and the cottage cheese is already starting to form. Those legs are going to look pretty bad in the next 4 years.

  39. Busta Rhymes Fat Belly Holding Bottle Onstage Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Busta Scale.

  40. Kellan Lutz Posing With Fat Guys Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    So Kellan is a chubby chaser?

  41. Ireland Baldwin Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt Leather Pants Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Her daddy really spent some cash to make sure she got promoted like hell today.

  42. Kellan Lutz Posing With Fat Guys Coachella
    Bob
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look, tubby, just do what you’re told. If anyone asks, your name is ‘Jonah’ and you better refer to me as ‘Mr. DiCaprio’ in at least every other sentence. Got it?”

  43. Hayley Roberts David Hasselhoff Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    He may be a drunk that eats hamburgers on the floor, but not bad Hoff, not bad.

  44. Evan Peters Cutoff Jean Shorts Emma Roberts Legs Daisy Dukes Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Judging from his face, I think Emma whipped his ass real good before they came out there. She told him at least once, maybe twice.

  45. Ireland Baldwin Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt Leather Pants Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    First Kermit, now Papa Smurf, who’s next, Big Bird?

  46. Scout Willis Sloppy Cleavage Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    He should be banned by the Feds from having children.

  47. Ava Sambora Legs Short Shorts Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Picturing some guy yelling out “hey, I used to jerk off to your mom”.

  48. Ashley Benson Legs Short Shorts Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    And in a week or two the poor Corvette will start emitting a white discharge from the tailpipes.

  49. Lauren Parsekian Cleavage Overalls Aaron Paul Fedora Coachella
    Pickle Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    This is his wife. She is stunningly beautiful. Well played Aaron, well played….

  50. Rose McGowan Midriff Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, let’s give her some credit. Rose McGowan might be one of the few people actually there to watch the bands and party, and not just be seen.

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