‘Whee! We’re All Hippies. Rich, Millionaire Hippies Dressed Like An Abercromie Ad. Wheeee!’

April 16th, 2012 // 321 Comments

So it’s Coachella again. That magical time of the year when B-list celebrities and down pretend to be groovy, music-loving flower children of the earth while staying in luxury hotels complete with catered pool parties. Although, in their defense, David Hasselhoff shows up each year like clockwork and eats a vegan cheeseburger he dropped in the grass, so yes, that’s a tang of jealousy you detect.

In more important news, apparently robot pedophiles from the future have perfected time travel, so good luck with that because, surprise, they’re race car drivers, too. You must was as well just set your kids out on the curb.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Tallulah Willis No Pants Sweatshirt Coachella
    Sin
    Commented on this photo:

    She has it backwards…again. Show the body, hide the face.

  2. Jessica Stroup Coachella
    Sin
    Commented on this photo:

    I want to see what the girl in the fuck me boots looks like.

  3. Vanessa Hudgens Underwear Upskirt Coachella
    James Hong
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like Octomom starring in a bukkake video.

  4. Elijah Wood DJ Coachella
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Standing next to a girl, Elijah got wood, then stained his pants.

  5. Emma Watson Robot Coachella
    James Hong
    Commented on this photo:

    Do not attempt to escape from Rapebot 5000…. you will only make it worse….

  6. Tallulah Willis No Pants Sweatshirt Coachella
    missglitterarty
    Commented on this photo:

    The Sith was there?!?!?

  7. Vanessa Hudgens Underwear Upskirt Coachella
    naomi
    Commented on this photo:

    let me just give you the change while I swallow…

  8. Ke$ha Coachella
    celebutard
    Commented on this photo:

    All along I thought the lyrics to “Cannibal” were just a metaphor but those thighs suggest otherwise.

  9. Tallulah Willis No Pants Sweatshirt Coachella
    nanunanu
    Commented on this photo:

    You know how people say that good-looking people “won the genetic lottery?” What is the opposite of winning the genetic lottery? Because that’s what happened here.

  10. Ke$ha Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s nice to see that Cody from Duel Survival was at Coachella to teach all the hipsters how to live off of $7 bottles of water and shitty vendor food for a weekend. I assume his hat is covered in his own piss in order to hold in moisture from his head.

  11. Elijah Wood DJ Coachella
    hijkmno
    Commented on this photo:

    doesn’t he know smoking can stunt his grow…eh…never mind.

  12. Emma Watson Robot Coachella
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    watch out for Wiford Brimley he looks pissed.

  13. Hayley Roberts David Hasselhoff Coachella
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    “a hamburger, a hamburger … my kingdom for a hamburger.”

  14. Pierce Brosnan Coachella
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    it’s mr. zipper clothes

  15. Aaron Paul Coachella
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    where’s george zimmerman when you need him ?

  16. Fergie Legs Short Shorts Coachella
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    “Tell me where is Sarah Connor !”

  17. Jessica Stroup Coachella
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    “Honey I shrunk my pants”

  18. Katy Perry Cleavage Coachella
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    smoking will turn your hair blue.

  19. Vanessa Hudgens Austin Butler Coachella
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    that white chocolate will go straight to your thighs.

  20. Mischa Barton Coachella
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    still nursing that ‘beer’

  21. Hayley Roberts David Hasselhoff Coachella
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    “uh ohhhh ! somebody’s gonna stick an umbrella up my ass an open it again !”

  22. Jared Leto Coachella
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mommy my shoes are untied !!”

  23. Elijah Wood DJ Coachella
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    Elijah Wood meets the world’s first hacedic lesbian.

  24. Tallulah Willis No Pants Sweatshirt Coachella
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    it’s Treychin Martin

  25. Pierce Brosnan Coachella
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    “Have no fear Zipperman is here !”

  26. Fergie Legs Short Shorts Coachella
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ll be bock”

  27. Ke$ha Coachella
    Fetysha
    Commented on this photo:

    David Lee Roth??

  28. Vanessa Hudgens Underwear Upskirt Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured, R. Kelly.

  29. Hayley Roberts David Hasselhoff Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “Follow me to Freedom! And to Wendy’s! But Wendy’s first!”

  30. Jared Leto Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    The Undertaker’s less beefy brother?

  31. Aaron Paul Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude!

  32. Fergie Legs Short Shorts Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Fergie finally realized that black hides urine stains better.

  33. Ke$ha Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    In every photo like this, there’s a girl in the background too disgusted to finish her watermelon.

  34. Josh Duhamel Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    I want to cut this guy a break considering the word “douche” is right in his fucking name, but COME ON!

  35. Aaron Paul Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    SO gangsta.

  36. Elijah Wood DJ Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t realize Hobbits had moyels.

  37. Tallulah Willis No Pants Sweatshirt Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like the Walk Of Shame knows no boundaries.

  38. slippinx12
    Commented on this photo:

    I see he brought the trash next door with him

  39. Hayley Roberts David Hasselhoff Coachella
    slippinx12
    Commented on this photo:

    Bangarang!

  40. Katy Perry Cleavage Coachella
    stephanie
    Commented on this photo:

    hey i think that’s azealia banks in front of kp.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3Jv9fNPjgk

  41. Vanessa Hudgens Underwear Upskirt Coachella
    BAHAH
    Commented on this photo:

    “Alright, sir, now that your payment has been accepted, you may begin the insertion in my mouth…”

  42. Vanessa Hudgens Underwear Upskirt Coachella
    Oh, that's lovey.
    Commented on this photo:

    “Suck-for-a-buck! Suck-for-a-buck! Get your suck-for-a-buck right hereee!”

  43. Ke$ha Coachella
    celebritiesaredumb
    Commented on this photo:

    na na na na na na naaa…THUNDER!

  44. Tallulah Willis No Pants Sweatshirt Coachella
    box
    Commented on this photo:

    She’d probably be a lot hotter if some of that face mass was distributed more evenly. I mean is there a surgery that could take some of that excess chin weight and redistributes it to her knees so they no longer looked like tiny little Bobby Hills? Seriously, look at her knee caps, they look like Bobby Hill’s face.

  45. Michael Polish Kate Bosworth Coachella
    Turd Burgleson
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet having sex with her is like playing the xylophone..

  46. Jared Leto Coachella
    Turd Burgleson
    Commented on this photo:

    Dang, there was this here bright light and then I woked up on the crick bank with my ass hurtin’ somethin’ awful.

  47. Lea Michele Bikini Coachella
    Turd Burgleson
    Commented on this photo:

    She doesn’t have a big nose, just a small face..

  48. Ke$ha Coachella
    Turd Burgleson
    Commented on this photo:

    “And this is how I earn my living now”

  49. Pierce Brosnan Coachella
    Turd Burgleson
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF, this isn’t the 3rd hole..

  50. Fergie Legs Short Shorts Coachella
    Turd Burgleson
    Commented on this photo:

    “Isn’t it frighfully good to have a penis…La La La”

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