‘Whee! We’re All Hippies. Rich, Millionaire Hippies Dressed Like An Abercromie Ad. Wheeee!’

April 16th, 2012 // 321 Comments

So it’s Coachella again. That magical time of the year when B-list celebrities and down pretend to be groovy, music-loving flower children of the earth while staying in luxury hotels complete with catered pool parties. Although, in their defense, David Hasselhoff shows up each year like clockwork and eats a vegan cheeseburger he dropped in the grass, so yes, that’s a tang of jealousy you detect.

In more important news, apparently robot pedophiles from the future have perfected time travel, so good luck with that because, surprise, they’re race car drivers, too. You must was as well just set your kids out on the curb.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Hayley Roberts David Hasselhoff Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this the way to Amarillo?
    Ev’ry night I’ve been huggin’ my pillow

  2. Emma Watson Robot Coachella
    Billybob
    Commented on this photo:

    A thick mane of pubes will be attached to the robot’s genitals before Daniel Radcliffe arrives for Weekend 2.

  3. Ian Somerhalder Nina Dobrev Cleavage Coachella
    Obviously A Female
    Commented on this photo:

    They didn’t dress like poseur assholes! Yay for them. Now I like them. I can’t believe even Emma Watson went for that “I’m going to be a hippie for a day because it’s so stylish and fun” shit.

  4. Ian Somerhalder Nina Dobrev Cleavage Coachella
    Billybob
    Commented on this photo:

    I was wondering what happened to these two! (note to self: Google “Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev”)

  5. Michael Polish Kate Bosworth Coachella
    Billybob
    Commented on this photo:

    Still waiting to see some celebrities in some of these photos?

  6. Hayley Roberts David Hasselhoff Coachella
    Billybob
    Commented on this photo:

    “Doofus, ho!”

  7. Jessica Stroup Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    I was thinking the same thing, then I noticed the Cookie Monster pajama pants on the dude behind him.

  8. Jared Leto Coachella
    Billybob
    Commented on this photo:

    One wonders how many beatings Jared Leto had to decline with the same “I’m good thanks” gesture…

  9. Josh Duhamel Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s the Cinderella boy, uh – tears in his eyes I guess as he lines up this last shot, he’s got about 195 yards left, he’s got about a – its looks like he’s got about an eight-iron. This crowd has gone deathly silent, the Cinderella story, outta no where, a former greenskeeper now – about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac – It’s in the Hole!

  10. Elijah Wood DJ Coachella
    Billybob
    Commented on this photo:

    Elijah Wood seems to be wearing the one ring to douche them all.

  11. Ke$ha Coachella
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    NO ONE TOLD ME THERE’D BE WATERMELLOW?!?! I WASTED MY ENTIRE WEEKEND AT HOME!!!

  12. Jessica Stroup Coachella
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice shorts, Trent.

  13. Vanessa Hudgens Austin Butler Coachella
    Billybob
    Commented on this photo:

    “This place has gotten boring. C’mon, let’s go make someplace else get boring.”

  14. Hayley Roberts David Hasselhoff Coachella
    Billybob
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ha ha, I ‘stole’ these clothes from Jared Leto’s tent…”

  15. Lea Michele Bikini Coachella
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she’s got a lot going on upstairs.

  16. Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Really thought that was Jason Mewes before I read the name.

  17. Josh Duhamel Coachella
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Big hitter the Lama.

  18. Jared Leto Coachella
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Die Darkman, Die.

  19. Aaron Paul Coachella
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    who?

  20. Elijah Wood DJ Coachella
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    HAHAHAHAHAHA

    What a tiny douche. Oh and make sure you hold your drink and cig during the picture to show how Boss you are.

  21. Pierce Brosnan Coachella
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m a stranger in a strange land.”

  22. Vanessa Hudgens Austin Butler Coachella
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice Toms, bro.

  23. Isa
    Commented on this photo:

    Aww I can’t help but love him, I don’t care if he dresses like filthy hippie

  24. Hayley Roberts David Hasselhoff Coachella
    G Spot Finder
    Commented on this photo:

    Hayley looks pleased to make eye contact with someone else.

  25. Emma Watson Robot Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “I can’t believe it. Even the bloody robot goes ‘Ten points to Gryffindor.’ “

  26. Aaron Paul Coachella
    Burnsy
    Commented on this photo:

    Not really the best way to honor Trayvon Martin.

  27. Ian Somerhalder Nina Dobrev Cleavage Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “The lab report showed ‘white chocolate’ under the dead cat’s claws. I realized that could only come from one place: the Coachella Music Festival. I knew I had to don some hipster clothes to look inconspicuous as I searched the festival for the killer. Fortunately, I had a whole closetful.”

  28. Aaron Paul Coachella
    sil
    Commented on this photo:

    Pinkman!!

  29. Lea Michele Bikini Coachella
    Mick
    Commented on this photo:

    Nose like a tomato.

  30. Ke$ha Coachella
    Mick
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like Brit-Brit!

  31. Aaron Paul Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    So that’s why he does such a good job in Breaking Bad. He’s not acting.

  32. Tallulah Willis No Pants Sweatshirt Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “All it is is coffee. Why do people keep asking me if it’s a ‘demi-tasse’?”

  33. Jared Leto Coachella
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t get it. Is he going to be the villain in the next Sherlock Holmes movie?

  34. Jessica Stroup Coachella
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks like someone tried to clone Katy Perry and missed the most important part.

  35. Pierce Brosnan Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    And *this* is how you dress if you are going to claim to be there ‘for the music’, folks.

  36. Ke$ha Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    AHHH MY FUCKING EYES!

    Damn you!

  37. Jessica Stroup Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Who?

  38. Katy Perry Cleavage Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh honey, any girl could tell you not to wear nylons when you are going to be on your knees all night.

  39. Lea Michele Bikini Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this, like, if Penelope Cruz were born a dude?

  40. Commented on this photo:

    Quiet. He’s hunting wabbits.

  41. Hayley Roberts David Hasselhoff Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “Do the Hassle! Doo doo doo doodoodoodoo doodoo …”

  42. Jared Leto Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    That … that … Douche looks like a Leto …

  43. Aaron Paul Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Pants. Up. Pull.

  44. Elijah Wood DJ Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll give him 10 points because Fiji water is fucking tasty, but I’m taking away 100 points for smoking, 50 for the rolled up pants, 10 points for the shirt, and 150 points for turning into another DJ hipster too-cool-for-school douche.

  45. Tallulah Willis No Pants Sweatshirt Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty sure if I saw this coming toward me I would assume it was the zombie apocalypse and run at it with a shovel.

  46. Fergie Legs Short Shorts Coachella
    Mordecai
    Commented on this photo:

    When is this dude gonna stop wearing such short shorts?

  47. Hayley Roberts David Hasselhoff Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “Your cheeseburger or your ass!”

  48. Hayley Roberts David Hasselhoff Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t realize Miss Elizabeth married the Undertaker after Macho Man’s death…

  49. Fergie Legs Short Shorts Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    What does (s)he do all day to have knees like that, tile bathroom floors?

  50. Ke$ha Coachella
    Cavallari's Taint
    Commented on this photo:

    You could feed a small country for months with those thighs! Meaty!

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