Clay Aiken likes dudes

September 23rd, 2008 // 112 Comments

Hey, everybody, Clay Aiken is gay! The singer, who recently became a dad, has come out of the closet in an exclusive interview with People. In related news, the sky is blue.

NOTE: Hats off to the folks over at Dateline Hollywood for creating hilarious variations, like the one above, of Clay’s coming out issue. Looking forward to seeing you tackle the imminent Ricky Martin issue.

superficial

  1. jessimessi

    FIRST!!!

  2. mrs.t

    You can try to convince me that’s not k.d.lang, but I’ll never beileve you.

  3. mrs.t

    You can try to convince me that’s not k.d.lang, but I’ll never believe you.

  4. Did see this one coming.
    Then again ‘the 9/11 thing’ was a bit of a surprise as well.
    ‘May you live in interesting times’ etc.

  5. Didn’t see this one coming.
    Then again ‘the 9/11 thing’ was a bit of a surprise as well.
    ‘May you live in interesting times’ etc.

  6. Binky

    The” n’t ” was a “* thingie” – for those of you keeping score at home…
    (oh shit)

  7. Cliff Notes

    I’m actually finding offense in People’s magazine “DUH” headline. These obviously credible, award winning American journalists, – let’s collectively call them ‘Scoop’ – seem to infer the public at large didn’t figure it out previously – but the mainstream (MSM) media did.
    Public at LARGE : Just wait till the revisionist history of Sept 2001 Cliff.
    Cliff Notes : Oh. ok.
    Knee Ya Ha Ha : Say – Scoop – Inside job ?

  8. You Never Go Ass To Mouth

    Wow.

    Next they’ll have a headline about Kim Kardashian having a big ass and a piss fetish.

    Tell me something I DON’T know.

  9. Mal

    Uh Cliff, did you not notice that the “duh” part is very clearly Photoshopped for extra lulz? Cuz I mean, it’s kinda obvious.

  10. HankTheDwarf

    SPREAD YOUR ASS APART AND MAKE YOUR PUSSY FART

  11. Kim K.

    The world is reeling in shock!!!

  12. James

    huh… This makes me sad. Sad that Britney and Lindsey and Paris are apparently being so goddamn boring that this actually warrants a cover story.
    Come on ladies. Stop pretending you’re sane or gay or working and just chug some cock in the middle of a catholic mass or something.
    NO CLAY NOT YOU.

  13. Freddo

    Why couldn’t he have admitted this before he passed on his freak-ass genes and screwed up the poor kid’s life. What’s next…Brittney is the godmother and Samantha Ronson is the godfather? Emotional decision…aww, boo hoo.
    Coming soon…Clay releases a song about writing a letter to his kid about being gay.

  14. Well ok – in other news,
    I think they were a little hard on Kimmy K – and who the hell is going to watch the show now that Edita has been voted off ?
    (Not that I’ve seen the show)
    Cliff Notes : Bink – you’re occasionally mildly funny – but let’s face it – you’re no Cloris Leachman.
    Binky : You’ve never seen my ‘Bird Dance’.

  15. Freddo

    p.s.
    #1: You’re a bigger freak and loser than Clay.

  16. Diamond

    Kim K is beautiful. I wish I had an ass like that!

  17. First Lance Bass and now Clay Aiken…if they’re not straight then who is?!!!

    http://www.cafepress.com/angryrobotwear

  18. # 9 . Good investigative point.
    You never know what these Fish scum will come up with.
    I’m going to have to check this baby out in the checkout line at WalMart.
    Cheers

  19. GG1000

    Gee, now there’s a real shocker. Almost as stunning as when George Michael came out.

  20. GG1000

    Gee, now there’s a real shocker. Almost as stunning as when George Michael came out.

  21. GG1000

    Gee, now there’s a real shocker. Almost as stunning as when George Michael came out.

  22. Eva

    Isn’t this the first time Fish posted this ‘late?’

  23. BigJim

    Now the only question that remains is whether he pitches or catches.

    My money is on catcher. I betcha he ATMs as well.

  24. Eva again

    Hmmm, maybe I ought to clarify my previous post. I meant to say that I don’t recall Fish ever posting after 5PM before.

  25. Dom Sooter

    #16

    If you like asses, you’re in the right place. I can point out at least several on this thread… #4, 5, 6, 7 & 14

    (actually– one giant ass posting as several people.)

  26. Dom Sooter

    #18

    Going to WalMart, you say? Don’t forget to pick up the Economy Size Super- Deluxe Tampons, you gaping cunt.

  27. UglyPeopleSafaris

    Boobs.

  28. huh

    didnt the whole world know already?

    yeahh and i swear they changed superficial writers, this one is less funny.
    the other one would have made more out of this…

  29. Just got a text from Clay. (Who knew he had my Global pos ?) It goes :
    “#25-26 My guess is you’re still having a few problems with ‘free fall collapse speed’ through undamaged steel structure ? That type of thing ?
    Any comments ?”
    Not sure what he’s on about there – but ‘Dom Suter’ – any idea what he’s on about ?

    Inside job ?

  30. Dom Sooter

    #29

    Clay texted you for a BLOW job, not an INSIDE job. I’m sure now that he’s “out and proud” he’d be happy to go ass to mouth too, like you’ve been begging him to do ever since he first slid his fist up your ass and used you like a dick-sucking sock puppet.

  31. WTF!

    No… REALLY!? This was always as obvious as the sky being blue.

  32. steve

    Say what you will, but Clay is far more devoted to his baby than Sarah Palin is to hers.

  33. Professor Obvious

    @31

    great comment. it was even funnier when the fish guy wrote it in the FIRST PARAGRAPH OF THE POST. (actually, it wasn’t even funny then.)

    FAIL

  34. Seriously, Binky, or Knee Ya Ha Ha, or whoever . . .

    Seriously, Binky, who did it? Just some nebulous conspiracy? The “Illuminati”, as if that actually means something?

    Don’t you think it’s time to name the jew?

  35. adonistic

    OMG! Who’s next, elijah wood?!

  36. HorribleJudgment

    NO! I don’t believe it! I’ll NEVER believe it! But…but…he’s so masculine! And he has such heterosexual mannerisms! And whenever someone has asked him whether or not he’s gay, he’s never answered! And…and…he had a surrogate child with a female friend who happens to have a guys name, instead of having sex with her! And his speaking voice is just so….I am in SHOCK! DUH!

    What an idiot Aiken is “coming out” to People magazine as if he assumes it’s this big huge “news flash” he’s revealing to he world. What a fucking douche bag. While I can certainly understand that no one should have to reveal such a thing before they’re ready, when it gets to the point where EVERYONE is fucking asking you, and EVERYONE fucking knows, it’s pretty much time to give up the ghost. That time came AGES ago. He’s not coming out of the closet. He’s telling everyone something they’ve known forever, whilst everyone rolls their eyes and tells him to shut the fuck up already.

    By the way, he doesn’t look like a gay guy on that cover, he looks like a lesbo chick. Quite the prissy butch woman, if it were possible to be prissy and butch at the same time. Blech. I never understood why chicks had a crush on him, or why they dug his shitty music. He’s hideous.

  37. Buttsecks

    @32

    That’s because Clay delivered vaginally.

  38. Yank and Wank - they rhyme for a reason

    he looks like Billie Jean King

  39. ??u?? ??u?q ???

    ¡dood?o?u?u no? ‘??? ??? ???u o? ???? s,?? ‘??u?q ???

  40. Sarah Palin

    Sometimes I like to go out back and fuck a moose or two. Lucky that waterhead stretched me out so I can handle the girth.

  41. So #30 and #34 – you obviously seem like real intellectuals….
    ‘Frank’ from 16th Floor : LOL !!! Keep ‘em coming Knee !! LOL !!
    Knee Ya Ha Ha : You tell us #34 (although I hate it when this site goes off topic)
    Did you take your theories to the architects and engineers at this link #34 ?
    How did that go ? Please report .
    Until then – FUCK OFF !!!

  42. Dom Sooter

    #34

    Cut the charade, douche. You’re the same menstrual clot that’s posting over and over with the other aliases. You are worse than a broken fucking record– it’s like someone taught a parrot how to type.

    No one is interested in the bullshit your selling you crackhead fucktard– so go push your shopping cart full of conspiracy theories a few websites over and sell your crazy over there.

  43. Sam

    #32 – now be fair. It takes a truly loving and unselfish person to appreciate a special needs child, and hopefully some day Trig will meet that person.

  44. Are you a poor dumb sap? Too stupid to even type upside down?

    ¿¿s??? ????

    Well, if you want to impress your friends, click the link to learn how!

    ¡?oo? ??,no? ?ou ‘????? ¡??d???s ????? ?u??u??p-????oo? ?u?????? uo?s??-pn???? p?p????? ? ??ns ?u??q do?s pu?

  45. These Chinese guys are getting a bit lippy Bink.
    Binky : I noticed that Cliff and I never could figure out why sometimes they have Oriental accents and sometimes not.
    Cliff Notes : Go figure.

  46. Well – we thought #34 was #42
    Whatever.
    Inside job. Agreed # 42 ?

  47. Dom Sooter

    #45

    Keep talking to yourself, dickface. I’m done wiping my ass with you (for now). Hopefully one of your alter-egoes can verbally stroke you off to a nice fat nut.

    One more thing– those Chinese guys are paying your mom to star in their new triple XXX Bukkake video “9-on-1: The Cumspiracy”.

    Inside Job? …Eh, more like a facial.

  48. #42 You seem like a real intellectual.
    Obviously you need the Cliff Notes to this site to figure out that ‘ the Inquisition’

    The 9/11 inquisition was outsourced to China months and months ago to ‘Knee Ya Ha Ha’ and his trusty sidekick , the somewhat nebulous character ‘Frank’ from 16th Floor. They seem to be living in this shit-hole place called Chung King Mansions.
    Unfortunately for you #42 this ‘Binky’ character has been at this site for a number of years.
    And you haven’t.
    Inside job ?

  49. #47 Gr8 points all – U Merican ?

  50. paula abdul

    EVERYONE WHO TRIES OUT FOR AMERICAN IDOL IS

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