Clay Aiken is a daddy! And he didn’t even have to touch a vagina

Clay Aiken’s producer, who he convinced to artificially inseminate herself with his seed, gave birth to a baby boy today. Here’s hoping she got a sweet bonus for this project or at the very least a fruit basket. E! Online reports:

Faye Aiken told Raleigh radio station WRAL that her son’s longtime producer gave birth to son Parker Foster Aiken at 8:08 a.m. in an undisclosed location in the singer’s home state.
Parker tipped the scales at 6 pounds, 2 ounces and measured in at 19 inches.
Faye Aiken also broke the news that the Aiken progeny did not inherit dad’s fiery red mop, instead saying that he has dark hair and that, upon seeing him, the “Measure of a Man” singer was “smiling from ear to ear.”

Shortly after the baby’s birth, Clay whipped out doctor’s masks and announced “Big news, family. Everyone’s going to wear one of these – FOREVER! A HA HA HA HA! Oh, man, this is too rich. Now where’s my Coke can full of wine…”