Clay Aiken’s producer, who he convinced to artificially inseminate herself with his seed, gave birth to a baby boy today. Here’s hoping she got a sweet bonus for this project or at the very least a fruit basket. E! Online reports:
Faye Aiken told Raleigh radio station WRAL that her son’s longtime producer gave birth to son Parker Foster Aiken at 8:08 a.m. in an undisclosed location in the singer’s home state.
Parker tipped the scales at 6 pounds, 2 ounces and measured in at 19 inches.
Faye Aiken also broke the news that the Aiken progeny did not inherit dad’s fiery red mop, instead saying that he has dark hair and that, upon seeing him, the “Measure of a Man” singer was “smiling from ear to ear.”
Shortly after the baby’s birth, Clay whipped out doctor’s masks and announced “Big news, family. Everyone’s going to wear one of these – FOREVER! A HA HA HA HA! Oh, man, this is too rich. Now where’s my Coke can full of wine…”
keller1974 | August 8, 2008 at 12:32 pm
I liked him so much when he was a nice, naive little nerdy boy on American Idol. Several plastic surgeries later, and some hair product, I hardly recognize the boy. I wonder what fatherhood will be like for him?
oscar | August 8, 2008 at 12:32 pm
OMG! i think this is one of the 7 signs of the apocalypse!
son of clay.. well we know this poor kid isnt going to have a strong male role model in his life. the poor kid never had a chance.
keller1974 | August 8, 2008 at 12:33 pm
OH…and first. :)
Kristy | August 8, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Um, is Clay wearing eyeliner? Yes, very masculine. Expect this child to turn out about as well as Michael Jackson’s kids. Playdates, anyone??
pointandlaugh | August 8, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Faye Aiken? FAKEN?
/facepalm
veggi | August 8, 2008 at 12:39 pm
I bet he can’t wait to sexually abuse his son.
RichPort | August 8, 2008 at 12:41 pm
It would make alot more sense if his first name was “Ass” or “Jaw”.
Scott | August 8, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Wait – born TODAY?! 8/8/08 at 8:08am? Numerologists love Clay Aiken!
Alex | August 8, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Eyeliner?
Sandy Bottoms | August 8, 2008 at 12:53 pm
guyliner. manscara.
veggis troll is so fucking lame | August 8, 2008 at 1:04 pm
#6— Don’t you ever get tired of being an assclown troll?
Natalie Fabian | August 8, 2008 at 1:11 pm
It looks like he’s wearing eye makeup
WhatsOnMyCameraPhone | August 8, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Dear Veggis troll is so fucking lame,
Thank you for that.
veggi | August 8, 2008 at 1:15 pm
clearly no
wickedchimp | August 8, 2008 at 1:16 pm
ITS THE ANTI CHRIST! KILL IT! KILL IT!!
James St. James | August 8, 2008 at 1:18 pm
That boy is TOTALLY working not just guyliner but foundation and cover-up!
He is just so pretty in peace, don’t cha think? He is clearly wearing a yellow based cake batter but has managed to miss his chin and beard area completely! FAUX PAS, CLAY DEAR!
He is TOO gay for words and that silly honey just will do ANYTHING to prove otherwise. Poor guy- just be gay and maybe you will finally be made fun of less! Hollywood culture now praises open gays but in the closet gays- you get the hardcore puddin’ in the BUM! And not the good puddin!
Miserable Bastard | August 8, 2008 at 1:27 pm
I’ll bet Clay can’t wait to bring his newborn son home from the hospital and get him settled into the pink baby’s room that was decorated just for him.
Drunkman | August 8, 2008 at 1:37 pm
He looks like such a chester
Jammy | August 8, 2008 at 1:51 pm
……except his own…….
hookah | August 8, 2008 at 2:07 pm
I think the real question is not whether he touched a vagina its would a vagina touch him.
Tom Leykis | August 8, 2008 at 2:32 pm
What a dumbass. His producer is now legally entitled to collect child support from him for the next 18 YEARS (216 monthly payments).
Boys, never ever EVER volunteer to impregnate someone as a “favor”. You might as well give her your ATM card and PIN.
woodhorse | August 8, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Oh the inhumanity! I hope his ball buster mother sends that baby to private school under an assumed name.
mike | August 8, 2008 at 2:34 pm
#21 – what’s up with always saying “Boys,” before giving advice? Obviously you’re a woman-hater but your speech sounds pedo, too.
Tom Leykis | August 8, 2008 at 2:51 pm
@23, if you listen to my show, many callers say I’m like the dad they never had.
And Mike, I don’t hate women. I love having sex with women, I just don’t want to give them any of my money.
Evan | August 8, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Hillary Clinton, is that you?
Rutherford | August 8, 2008 at 3:14 pm
http://www.digitalfuntown.com/videos/97 has footage of the newborn!
Ronnie Mund | August 8, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Are those false teeth? They don’t look like caps/veneers.
Dana | August 8, 2008 at 4:25 pm
A lot of stupid shit in these comments. Grow the fuck up!
TheBigG | August 8, 2008 at 5:19 pm
His baby was born on 08/08/08 at 8:08 !!!!!!!!!!
It is the Antichrist !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lmao | August 8, 2008 at 5:39 pm
#24 – “if you listen to my show, many callers say I’m like the dad they never had.”
classic pedo line. way to rebut by confirming. tard.
J@cko | August 8, 2008 at 5:54 pm
What is it with men afraid of getting near to women’s genitals but still wanting to have babies?
Famous Plastic | August 8, 2008 at 6:09 pm
God that is creepy.
missywissy | August 8, 2008 at 6:54 pm
weird.
GimmeMeAFuckinBreak | August 8, 2008 at 7:32 pm
He’s the WHITE version of Michael Jackson….
Ruben | August 8, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Wonder which boyfriend spit into the petri dish for him.
Kim Lardassian | August 8, 2008 at 10:05 pm
Never heard of him who the fuck is he? Surely he is gay though?
katia | August 9, 2008 at 12:43 am
where is randall?
cinnamon | August 9, 2008 at 1:30 am
One more person that should not be dipping into the gene pool.
I can imagine the baby looking a lot like Chucky.
Tom stinks | August 9, 2008 at 1:36 am
Tom Leykis is a nutball pig. As if hot women are dumb enough to give free sex to this loser who sees sex as the only thing women are good for. He either pays for it or he’s mating with women equally as unattractive as him. He probably has no money which is why he’s so worried about a woman taking it from him. That allowance he gets from his mom every week for keeping his basement bedroom tidy is just such a lure for hot women. We all want to get our paws on his big bucks and get impregnated by him. Yeah, keep warning the “boys”, freakazoid.
bmose | August 9, 2008 at 11:41 pm
CALTC
Narcissist | August 10, 2008 at 1:20 am
Strange pic. Looks like he took the top half of Liberaces face and made a mask out of it.
The 888 stuff is fun. Maybe he’s the Anti-Cowell (Simon) or something.
trailera | August 10, 2008 at 9:51 pm
WTF people, there are overpopulation problems. Just adopt orphans
Hollywood sucks balls | August 13, 2008 at 1:47 am
Really,why can’t this ass clown shop for kids in third world countries like a normal person.But no,he had to order a designer kid with even less effort.
Cock smoker.