Clay Aiken is a daddy! And he didn’t even have to touch a vagina

August 8th, 2008 // 43 Comments

Clay Aiken’s producer, who he convinced to artificially inseminate herself with his seed, gave birth to a baby boy today. Here’s hoping she got a sweet bonus for this project or at the very least a fruit basket. E! Online reports:

Faye Aiken told Raleigh radio station WRAL that her son’s longtime producer gave birth to son Parker Foster Aiken at 8:08 a.m. in an undisclosed location in the singer’s home state.
Parker tipped the scales at 6 pounds, 2 ounces and measured in at 19 inches.
Faye Aiken also broke the news that the Aiken progeny did not inherit dad’s fiery red mop, instead saying that he has dark hair and that, upon seeing him, the “Measure of a Man” singer was “smiling from ear to ear.”

Shortly after the baby’s birth, Clay whipped out doctor’s masks and announced “Big news, family. Everyone’s going to wear one of these – FOREVER! A HA HA HA HA! Oh, man, this is too rich. Now where’s my Coke can full of wine…”

superficial

  1. keller1974

    I liked him so much when he was a nice, naive little nerdy boy on American Idol. Several plastic surgeries later, and some hair product, I hardly recognize the boy. I wonder what fatherhood will be like for him?

  2. OMG! i think this is one of the 7 signs of the apocalypse!

    son of clay.. well we know this poor kid isnt going to have a strong male role model in his life. the poor kid never had a chance.

  3. keller1974

    OH…and first. :)

  4. Kristy

    Um, is Clay wearing eyeliner? Yes, very masculine. Expect this child to turn out about as well as Michael Jackson’s kids. Playdates, anyone??

  5. pointandlaugh

    Faye Aiken? FAKEN?

    /facepalm

  6. veggi

    I bet he can’t wait to sexually abuse his son.

  7. It would make alot more sense if his first name was “Ass” or “Jaw”.

  8. Wait – born TODAY?! 8/8/08 at 8:08am? Numerologists love Clay Aiken!

  9. Sandy Bottoms

    guyliner. manscara.

  10. veggis troll is so fucking lame

    #6— Don’t you ever get tired of being an assclown troll?

  11. Natalie Fabian

    It looks like he’s wearing eye makeup

  12. Dear Veggis troll is so fucking lame,

    Thank you for that.

  13. veggi

    clearly no

  14. wickedchimp

    ITS THE ANTI CHRIST! KILL IT! KILL IT!!

  15. James St. James

    That boy is TOTALLY working not just guyliner but foundation and cover-up!

    He is just so pretty in peace, don’t cha think? He is clearly wearing a yellow based cake batter but has managed to miss his chin and beard area completely! FAUX PAS, CLAY DEAR!

    He is TOO gay for words and that silly honey just will do ANYTHING to prove otherwise. Poor guy- just be gay and maybe you will finally be made fun of less! Hollywood culture now praises open gays but in the closet gays- you get the hardcore puddin’ in the BUM! And not the good puddin!

  16. Miserable Bastard

    I’ll bet Clay can’t wait to bring his newborn son home from the hospital and get him settled into the pink baby’s room that was decorated just for him.

  17. Drunkman

    He looks like such a chester

  18. Jammy

    ……except his own…….

  19. hookah

    I think the real question is not whether he touched a vagina its would a vagina touch him.

  20. What a dumbass. His producer is now legally entitled to collect child support from him for the next 18 YEARS (216 monthly payments).

    Boys, never ever EVER volunteer to impregnate someone as a “favor”. You might as well give her your ATM card and PIN.

  21. woodhorse

    Oh the inhumanity! I hope his ball buster mother sends that baby to private school under an assumed name.

  22. mike

    #21 – what’s up with always saying “Boys,” before giving advice? Obviously you’re a woman-hater but your speech sounds pedo, too.

  23. @23, if you listen to my show, many callers say I’m like the dad they never had.

    And Mike, I don’t hate women. I love having sex with women, I just don’t want to give them any of my money.

  24. Evan

    Hillary Clinton, is that you?

  25. Are those false teeth? They don’t look like caps/veneers.

  26. Dana

    A lot of stupid shit in these comments. Grow the fuck up!

  27. TheBigG

    His baby was born on 08/08/08 at 8:08 !!!!!!!!!!

    It is the Antichrist !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  28. lmao

    #24 – “if you listen to my show, many callers say I’m like the dad they never had.”

    classic pedo line. way to rebut by confirming. tard.

  29. J@cko

    What is it with men afraid of getting near to women’s genitals but still wanting to have babies?

  30. God that is creepy.

  31. missywissy

    weird.

  32. GimmeMeAFuckinBreak

    He’s the WHITE version of Michael Jackson….

  33. Ruben

    Wonder which boyfriend spit into the petri dish for him.

  34. Kim Lardassian

    Never heard of him who the fuck is he? Surely he is gay though?

  35. katia

    where is randall?

  36. cinnamon

    One more person that should not be dipping into the gene pool.

    I can imagine the baby looking a lot like Chucky.

  37. Tom stinks

    Tom Leykis is a nutball pig. As if hot women are dumb enough to give free sex to this loser who sees sex as the only thing women are good for. He either pays for it or he’s mating with women equally as unattractive as him. He probably has no money which is why he’s so worried about a woman taking it from him. That allowance he gets from his mom every week for keeping his basement bedroom tidy is just such a lure for hot women. We all want to get our paws on his big bucks and get impregnated by him. Yeah, keep warning the “boys”, freakazoid.

  38. bmose

    CALTC

  39. Narcissist

    Strange pic. Looks like he took the top half of Liberaces face and made a mask out of it.

    The 888 stuff is fun. Maybe he’s the Anti-Cowell (Simon) or something.

  40. trailera

    WTF people, there are overpopulation problems. Just adopt orphans

  41. Hollywood sucks balls

    Really,why can’t this ass clown shop for kids in third world countries like a normal person.But no,he had to order a designer kid with even less effort.
    Cock smoker.

Leave A Comment