Claudia Schiffer stars as TOPLESS CATWOMAN

The latest issue of Vogue Germany features a totally topless Claudia Schiffer. This picture would be unbelievably hot except her nipples appear to be airbrushed out. Unless she suffers from a rare disease where they’re invisible. In which case, Claudia, my sincere apologies. I know what it’s like to have transparent body parts. Right, invisi-penis?*

Thanks to James, who is totally straight despite the best efforts of this 100% insane PS3 ad.

*The Superficial Writer’s penis is, actually, very transparent. Particularly after that Gamma Ray accident when he got really drunk and tried to take a whiz on Bruce Banner. Damn you science!