Claire Danes in a bikini

July 17th, 2008 // 236 Comments

Here’s something you don’t see everyday: Claire Danes wearing a bikini. She’s vacationing in Italy with boyfriend Hugh Dancy, and it looks like she’s having a relaxing time tanning, taking pictures and reading a book spread eagle which would be hot if I didn’t just spend the past hour looking for her breasts with a magnifying glass. Are they under the beach chair? I don’t get it.


  1. Derek

    What book is she reading?

    I’d still hit that…

  2. Suck it, Helena

    We’re hanging around online writing some meaningless comments. Just like you. Try to pry that gigantic rod out of your ass.

  3. The book Claire’s reading is “Any Human Heart” by William Boyd: “an ambitious, all-encompassing novel. Through the intimate journals of Logan Mounstuart we travel from Uruguay to Oxford, on to Paris, the Bahamas, New York and West Africa, and meet his three wives, his family, his friends and colleagues, his rivals, enemies and lovers, including notables such as the Duke and Duchess of Windsor, Ernest Hemingway and Virginia Woolf.”

    Danger! We have ourselves a Reader here! If we don’t stop her, now, she might turn in to a Thinker!

  4. Anyone that thinks she’s too skinny is saying that because they are FAT LARD-ASSES THAT NEED TO JUSTIFY THEIR DISGUSTINGLY GLUTTUNOUS EXISTENCE!!! 50 years ago girls were even smaller than Claire. Wake up you low rise wearing muffin top hanging christmas ham waisted 12 sandwitch eating large curd cookie but gigantors. Does hot envy come with that fat? Evidently it does. I want to puke a little every time I go to the beach and see all the slovenly beached whales rolling around in a 2 piece bikini. “MMMM…some food pussy under this stomach”…I don’t think so. Go ahead and keep making those mealymouthed remarks to your other friend Shamu as I walk by, but your boyfriend ALWAYS look twice. Put down the Jack & coke in a plastic cup and go run a few miles in the sand.

  5. Fat chicks suck

    Helena: fat women are so desperate to convince themselves and the rest of the world that thin and fit is undersireable they will stop at nothing. If they spent half as much time exercising as they did bitching about people that take care of themselves they wouldn’t be fat anymore.

    I’m not saying everyone has to find Claire Danes attractive – I agree it would be nice if she had larger breasts. I still think she looks great, though. I realize that she has naturally small breasts and that’s fine. Regardless of whether or not you find her attractive it is a fact that she is fit and healthy. She’s definitely not too skinny! We live in a country where 2/3 of the population is overweight – most people have no idea what healthy is. Fat people make up the majority of the population!

    Fat people are generally lazy…and as a result they will always be fat. So instead of getting into shape they put down people that are in good shape in a failing attempt to feel better about themselves. Of course at the end of the day they’re still fat and nobody likes them so they end up bitter and miserable…which leads to eating more food and bitching even more. Eventually one day they accept that they are disgusting lazy blobs. While they may finally stop complaining about thin, healthy people…they still won’t do anything to better themselves. It’s a sad life.

  6. he’s rather handsome


  8. Jen

    I’m a chunky chick, and I’m not going to hate on Claire for being thin. Not all fat girls are angry and bitter, thanks.

    Also, I’m jealous of her boobs because she can go without a bra and wear cuter clothes. Huge knockers are overrated. Hers are fine. Implants suck.

  9. PEGGY-O #106 is a name of a FAT CHICK! Go do some warm up drills on the freeway piggy.

  10. sandra

    just because she doesnt have large breast or possibly fake boobs as so many of the ladies that you drool over here, it doesnt mean shes not attractive. Take Kate Hudson for an example, she has a small frame and all but shes gorgeous or women like Ali Larter, Gwen Stefani , Keira Knightley and Kate Moss. I really hope that there are more criteria for how attractive a woman is than just her boobs.

  11. Googlybits

    Unlike anorexic whores with silicon implants, Danes is a skilled actress and probably has a naturally ectomorphic (skinny) body type. Fine by me! Healthy and natural is good, regardless of whether someone is thin, soft (endomorph), or muscular (mesomorph).

  12. Fat chicks suck

    You know who I feel sorry for? The guys that start dating a girl…fall in love with her…and then she gets fat. They still love her…but they’re no longer physically attracted to her. They have to sleep with a woman they aren’t physically attracted to and they have to pretend to still be attracted to her. While their eyes are obviously always wandering…they remain faithful to these women because they love them and feel its the right thing to do. These women don’t even have enough respect for these guys that are standing by their fat sides to put some effort into staying in shape. As if that wasn’t enough along with the fat comes bitterness and even more laziness. The crazy part is that staying in shape is beneficial to EVERYONE involved! You look better, feel better, have more energy. I just will never understand. Fat women are extremely selfish…but at the same time they’re slowly killing themselves.

  13. 109-

    weight has nothing to do with my post-not one iota-unlike your angry post.
    her fucking billy crudup while his girlfriend is 8-month pregnant offends me.
    but i’ll give your advice some consideration, douchefuck.

  14. Fat chicks suck

    Jen: I commend you for accepting who you are. It’s rare to find overweight women under the age of 30 that are honest with themselves. I don’t think all fat girls are angry and bitter…but the vast majority of them are. It’s refreshing to read a post like this. You are a fat chick who doesn’t suck. Remember: just because you’re fat now doesn’t mean you have to stay that way. Acceptance is the hardest part.

  15. J

    110 – Sandra, all women in our society are merely walking breasts. We have no other value, DUH!

    Well, sometimes our vaginas have value, but only if the vulva is waxed and we don’t have “beef curtains.”

    And forget it if you’re fat. Then no matter how nice your boobs or vulva are, you’re worthless and should be launched into the sun.

    I sure am glad we have men around to let us know these important things. :-D

  16. #111 Googlybits-just because a girl is thin and has implants does not automatically make her a whore. I know plenty of flat chested whores! They whore it up just like the silicone whores do…and like the chunky insecure whores. Hores come in all shapes and sizes just as respectfull accomplished girls. What you meant to say is that you are fat with no tits and you hate all the girls that are fit and have tits.

  17. Fat chicks suck

    peggy-o: Don’t try to cover it up – we know you’re fat. If you weren’t fat you wouldn’t have made your original post.

  18. 114 piggy-o
    Better get on that quick… your drivel is boring us. Redirect that energy into dodging targets in the fast lane.

  19. again, my original post reflects nothing about weight.


    i’m sure you’re 10-foot tall and bulletproof typing in your mom’s basement, with your pale skin and recurring acne. calling chicks fat makes your penis feel bigger, doesn’t it?

  20. Fat chicks suck

    #116 (J): I don’t hate on women for things out of their control. If a woman is healthy and fit I don’t care if she has small boobs or gigantic boobs…and I don’t even hate on beef curtains. I do hate on implants – they made the decision. When it comes to shaving/waxing yeah – I want them to keep things clean down there. Doesn’t have to be completely waxed but it’s not that difficult to put some effort into making it look good. It’s a turn-on when women make an effort to better their appearance. I hate on fat women because it’s their choice they are fat. I find fat women disgusting (as do most people.) All I ask from a physical standpoint is that a woman takes care of herself. I think most guys would agree with me.

  21. Fat chicks suck

    peggy: Your original post is an obvious insult to her appearance. The only reason you would bother insulting her appearance, in this case, is if you were fat. Notice how peggy never denies being fat? Not that we’d believe you even if you did – we already know you’re fat. Still…you aren’t fooling anybody. It’s obvious why you said what you did. You’re just another bitter fat chick.

  22. Jen

    115 – Fat Chicks Suck – I’ve lost 30 pounds. It’s been a lifelong battle to maintain a healthy weight. It’s easy to eat less and exercise more, but that doesn’t mean the weight comes off easy.

    Anyway, Claire Danes is pretty. I will say that the bikini top she’s wearing is a style that flatters NO woman. Every woman looks like she has pancake boobs when she wears a strapless bikini top, unless she’s got crazy fake ones.

  23. fat guys suck

    #121: Do you wax or shave your pubes and hairy balls then? I bet if a woman’s going down on you she doesn’t want to end up with hair in her mouth either. Oh wait, guys are *supposed* to be hairy, right? Fucking gross.

    I shave when I feel like it, and trim when I don’t. But I do it because I like it, not because some guy likes it. If he can’t handle how a woman naturally looks then he’s a sorry excuse for a man. Hey at least his hand isn’t hairy, so he can feel free to stick to his unrealistic porn and rub ‘em out instead of subjecting himself to the horrors of a hairy pussy.

  24. #123

    sorry it took me so long to respond, i was opening the door for the pizza hut delivery and i tripped over ho-ho wrappers.

    i think if i wanted to refer to her weight like all the other posts that mentioned her weight, i probably would have. i don’t think she has particularly feminine features-hence the HANDSOME reference.

    i sure hope with your high levels of sensitivity, you procreate one day, and have a few daughters…. or god forbid your son marry a woman not perfect in your eyes.

  25. Fat chicks suck

    Yes – I trim my pubes and shave my balls. I don’t really do it for myself…I do it because most girls prefer it and I don’t mind the small amount of effort it takes. I want a girl that takes care of herself so I take care of myself too. My girlfriend isn’t completely waxed…she just trims. I’d never complain because it looks good to me and doesn’t bother me. I would prefer it was always waxed but it’s not a big deal. At least she puts some effort into it and maintains it. Not sure why you’re getting so hostile about it?

  26. Fat chicks suck

    peggy: You wouldn’t insult her at all if you weren’t jealous. Clearly you are jealous because you are fat and she isn’t. It’s that simple. Oh well…I’m done going around and around with you.

  27. untrue, but the debate isn’t worth it. go trim your balls, wait for your girlfriend so she can finish your back, and have a jolly day.

  28. Ultimate

    She is scary skinny – check pic 6 and 7: her ribcage is showing and that can not be a healthy weight.
    And by the way, I’m a hot hourglass with a bmi of 20, so save it.

  29. Fat chicks suck

    Ultimate: Tell yourself whatever you want. She’s not too skinny or unhealthy – if you honestly think so then you don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re either ignorant, jealous, or a combination of the two. It really is that simple.

  30. Totally dorky question, but, can anyone tell what book she’s reading?

  31. Fat chicks suck

    Jen (124): I’m glad you are working on it – stick to it. It’s well worth the effort. I know a few girls that have been overweight their entire lives and they worked hard to get down to a healthy weight and are happier than they’ve ever been. If you’re making a serious effort to better yourself you don’t even fit my definition of a fat chick. To me it’s more than just being overweight. It’s being overweight and having the mentality that there is nothing wrong, making no effort, and putting down healthy people they are jealous of.

  32. netstarman

    Well at least she doesn’t have to worry about catching her boobs in the sliding glass door in a drunken binge. But she can go undercover as a number 2 pencil.

  33. As we all suspected...

    “Yes – I trim my pubes and shave my balls. ”

    Just like they do in the gay community.

  34. pet peeve

    Loooooonng torso, shrt legs!!!!!!!!!!

  35. #133- (regarding 124)
    If you’re making a serious effort to better yourself you don’t even fit my definition of a fat chick.

    who the fuck cares about your definition or anything about your fat philosophy? you call people fat and ignorant because they disagree with your opinion on claire danes. dude, get grounded, you’re a fucking retard.

    jen, you don’t need this guy patting you on the back when his disrespect for women is so obvious and he’s so angry and proud of himself when he namecalls like a little girl.

  36. Mickey

    She is smoking hot–not gorgeous, not full-figured glam… but definitely fit and attractive. Go Claire!

  37. use yr brain

    #9. Ramona:

    why is it ALWAYS the fling’s fault, but NEVER, EVER the cheating spouse’s fault ?

    THE GUY CHEATED ON A PREGNANT MLP — if it wasn’t clare, it would’ve been someone else !!!!!!

  38. Fat chicks suck

    Peggie must be huge. I said fat and/or ignorant – it’s possible they’re not both. Has nothing to do with my opinion of her. It’s the fact that she is fit and healthy and there’s people acting like it’s a bad thing. If they don’t find her attractive fine…but to say she’s “too skinny” and “unhealthy” is just plain ignorance and jealousy. That’s what happens when you live in a country where the majority of people are fat.

    I don’t disrespect women. I disrespect people who refuse to better themselves and then put down people that are healthy. Fat women that are bitter really piss me off! I hate the fact that 2/3 of this country is overweight. THAT IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS! I’m tired of dealing with bitter, overweight women. There are plenty of fat guys too…but they tend to mind their own business and don’t make excuses for themselves. Fat guys don’t have such a ridiculous complex. I’m sick of it! If people hate themselves so much why don’t they do something about it? Do overweight women honestly believe that by insulting thin, fit women guys will start to desire fat chicks? It’s absolutely crazy to me.

    I’m not namecalling peggy – I honestly think you’re fat. I’ve never seen you…but based on my experience I’d say there’s a 95% chance you’re overweight. I don’t think telling fat people they’re fat or telling someone who says something ignorant that they’re ignorant is really namecalling. Perhaps it’s so honest that it’s mean…but I’m not too concerned about that. If you weren’t fat you wouldn’t be so offended. Maybe I’m a jerk…but for fucks sake something needs to happen before this whole country is nothing but fat slobs. We’re already 2/3 of the way there.

  39. Frank

    She appears to be reading “Any Human Heart” by William Boyd.

  40. Trover

    So, umm, where are “Her So-Called Tits”?? Wasn’t that her show?

  41. I bet you ten to one that ‘Fat Chicks Suck’ is actually a woman. Or she is now anyway…*whispers* post-op. I also bet a bottom dollar that the before mentioned post-op (maybe) is not American. But those are only my gambles and I only hold myself responsible if I am wrong, which I doubt I am.

    Anyway, I would like to say that I am infact a fat ass and begrudge nothing when it comes to Claire Danes. I have always found her to be extremely talented and cute even when she was younger. Perhaps my overall pompusness causes me to resist the green-eyed monster, but one can never be too sure about such things.

    I would also like to point out that ‘curves’ are technically fat. Hips and breasts are fat and I could go into the biological reason as to why that is, but I’ll resist the temptation to bore you all.

    So in sumation, I am fat but happy. I can run around with my dog and son and fuck like magic with my husband, jiggling merrily the whole time. And I don’t hate on the skinny nor fat chicks…it’s simply a waste of my precious time.

    Enjoy your comment merry-making.

  42. At the sound of the tone, the time will six o’clock.


  43. #140

    my point remains, i think she is more handsome than pretty.

    somehow that made me and 2/3 the country fat. i think you are standing perilously close to the deep end if opinions other than your own cause you to have a f-ing tirade like the one above.

  44. bob

    Who would ever have foreseen a week that saw Jim Carrey pictured in a bikini and STILL not be the least busty bikini celeb that week?

  45. dianne

    i love claire danes. she’s a great actress. i love romeo and juliet and brokedown palace

  46. #147

    don’t go there, bob. next you’ll be a jealous fat chick, too.
    Per ‘ Fat chicks suck ‘, if you say anything negative about Mr. Claire Danes you grow a big, bitter vagina and fat rolls.

  47. __________________________________________________

    Fat Chicks Suck-
    I must admit that I agree with almost 100% of what you are saying. You make some very valid and important points. Right on the money some might say. A lot of the fatties reading this should take what you are saying to heart. And fast. Obesity is one of the main problems facing our country right now and yes, fat people are selfish.

    But I would be remiss if I didn’t point out the fact that it appears that you really did nothing all day on a Thursday except sit in front of the computer (on The Superficial no less) and hit the refresh button over and over again just so you could see how people were responding to your rant about fat chicks. Sounds like a fucking nerd to me.

    You were on The Superficial ALL DAY LONG. Think about that for a minute.

    I guarantee that you get no pussy whatsoever.

    But you’re right on about obesity though..

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