Claire Danes in a bikini

July 17th, 2008 // 236 Comments

Here’s something you don’t see everyday: Claire Danes wearing a bikini. She’s vacationing in Italy with boyfriend Hugh Dancy, and it looks like she’s having a relaxing time tanning, taking pictures and reading a book spread eagle which would be hot if I didn’t just spend the past hour looking for her breasts with a magnifying glass. Are they under the beach chair? I don’t get it.


  1. lulu

    umm…I’m sorry, who the fuck is this?

  2. One

    She always reminds me of a lioness. But someone needs to throw that lioness a steak! She obviously does yoga, as her body is very toned & limber. But she could use a few more pounds on her; hopefully she doesn’t starve herself. A woman should, lets face it… look like a woman. Which means she should have at least a little fat on her ( fat = breastisis). But she sure does enjoy the hot sun on her coochie (holy spread eagle!). She doesn’t even have fat down there! (…not one iota of camel toe).

  3. Venicio

    Actually I think her stomach isn’t quite there yet. She needs to do about 500 more crunches a day, to get real pop-out definition on her six-pack. I think six-packs on girls are so sexy! I love to kiss all the way down a girl’s six-pack until I get to where the tip of the hard cock is poking up! Errrr – I mean, vagina. The tip of the hard vagina.

  4. Holyfuck

    Whoever makes any references to “12 year old boys” realy needs to stop looking at 12 year old boys. And if you say this chick looks like one, you are a MORON. She is in great shape and will never be fat. I’d take this chick over Kardashian any day. At least she will never be fat and doesn’t smell like Armenia, Soul-Glo, lamb and urine.

  5. Crazy Old Bitch

    #53 Nice one Tom.

  6. fudgebutt

    this bitch has been godawful ugly since day one. fuck her.

  7. reality check

    fried egg titties, but very fuckable!!

  8. Fat chicks suck

    #52 – Her body type is the reason she has small breasts…not because she doesn’t have enough fat. If she started gaining fat it would start packing on her stomach and thighs/ass…then might start going to her breasts. The problem is that, because of her body type, she would look disgusting before she would have much larger breasts. She doesn’t starve herself – I’m tired of idiots that think you have to starve yourself in order to be thin. You eat healthier and workout…not starve yourself. Thin women that get thin just by starving themselves are taking the lazy way out and generally don’t look that great.

    #53 – yes – having a flat stomach that isn’t covered in rolls of fat is manly. You are worthless.

    She’s in great shape and she’s actually healthy. People are so used to all of the fat slobs in America that they think somebody who actually takes care of their body has a problem. No – women are supposed to eat healthy and exercise. That’s a GOOD thing. The people who have a problem are the overweight and obese people…who make up over 50% of the population in this country.

    I’m really tired of fat lazy idiots. Fat is not sexy. Fat is not womanly. Fat is not the same thing as “curves.”

  9. Superficial now yall know that Im gonna have to report yall for child pornography on this one right. Can’t be showing prepubescent girls in barely anything.

  10. james

    pic 11, legs spread baby! what a horny lil’ bitch wants a cock to satisfy her right there on the beach y’all.

  11. veggi

    Somebody’s waaaay too angry because his fat mom used to ridicule his tiny penis (#58).

  12. Mink

    her body is bangin,’ she’s fit-skinny unlike the coke-skinny so many celebs keep resorting to

  13. my so called life

    She looks awesome, not too thin either you jealous fools!! That’s what your body can look like if you hit the gym every now and then!

  14. Matt

    If you find this “girl” hot, just go ahead and suck a cock, because that’s clearly where your preference lies, whether you want to admit it or not.

  15. james

    oh good lord, whacked off to the spread eagle pic. Claires got a rockin bod. she could probably shag like a minks.

  16. I like how #58 stated that women are supposed to eat healthy and exercise. Not people in general, just women.
    And according to some, women are supposed to stay in the kitchen making stews whilst pregnant.

    It’s amazing how some people take it upon themselves to share orders with others.
    And by the way, men are supposed to be life support for a cock; that means no talking you harpie.
    Being a fascists is fun, I could get used to this.

  17. jon

    #64 Matt is a disgruntled fat bitch. you don’t fool us!

    How do you eff a fat chick?

    Role her around in flour and look for the wet spot!

  18. Eric

    The last time I saw a body like this the setting was Africa and the narrator said “Won’t you please help?”

  19. Jude Quinn

    she used to have a big ass… now she’s too skinny, look at this pic of her from the 90s (she was prolly jail bait then but oh well)

  20. alisa

    honestly if i had to chose between being born with nice boobs or ass id pick ass cause she can get a small boob job and look perfect.. and she has a perfect stomach.. while fat girls with natural boobs usually dont have perfect stomachs..

  21. Matt



    We’re not fooled. Your fantasy menu says “Penis Grande”.

  22. Bruce Jenner

    No beef curtains

  23. Cam

    AMEN SmokingGirl!

  24. Karen

    A purely objective, factual comment: the compliments being paid to Claire apply just as well to a male body (“toned”, “perfect stomach”).

    That’s usually not the case when people are talking about a “hottie”, at least when their preferences are clear (including to themselves).

  25. y0k says she’s only 5 ft 5.5, but she looks so frikkin TALL!
    that kind of bikini is awful and does absolutely nothing for any woman’s figure, especially for skinnier women. otherwise, she looks great.

  26. Fat chicks suck

    #66 – I said “women” because it’s generally women that people bitch about other women being too thin. Guys that are overweight know they are overweight and nobody is in denial about it. Overweight women are in denial. It’s two completely different situations.

    I don’t have a problem with overweight people that admit they have a problem. It becomes annoying when they try to justify it. It makes it even worse when they insult healthy people for being healthy. Fucking ridiculous.

    It’s amazing that people are so dumb they think women can control their breast size just by packing on fat. That’s not how it works – you can’t just pack fat on your breasts. For someone with naturally small breasts they would look disgusting if they packed on fat to increase their breast size. Her tight, toned body would be covered in fat. It’s her genes causing her small breasts. They will always be proportionally small unless she goes under the knife…which I frown upon.

    I’m so tired of fat lazy people raising fat lazy kids and contributing less and less to society by the day. It’s an endless cycle. Then these people have the audacity to insult people who take care of their bodies. This is due to a combination of jealously, ignorance, and just plain stupidity.

    When over 50% of the population is overweight or obese you know something isn’t right. There is an extremely distorted view on what “healthy” is because nobody wants to be unhealthy. Being overweight is unhealthy. Most people also find it extremely unattractive.

  27. Fat chicks suck

    #74 – How the fuck, Karen, is a toned body not an ideal quality in a woman? You are a moron and you’ve gotta be fat so go run on a treadmill.

  28. Fat chicks suck

    I’ve just gotta add one more thing. How hilarious is it that now the fatties are trying to say if you like healthy, fit women you must be a homosexual? How the hell does fat make a woman more womanly? It makes them disgusting, sure, but I assure you an ideal woman is not supposed to be repulsive, lazy, and fat.

    Is there no end to the stupidity of fat women? My “fat soaks into their brain” theory doesn’t sound so crazy anymore, does it? In all honesty it’s the other way around though. If somebody is intelligent…they wouldn’t let themselves go and turn into a fat lazy tub of lard. They would do something about it before it got to that point. This is probably why so many fat people are dumb. Not saying there aren’t dumb skinny people too (because there are)…but I’d say 80% of fat women are of below-average intelligence. Read the comments fat people leave – incredible that its even possible to be that stupid and still be alive.

  29. Katrina

    i think she looks smoking hot. just cause she’s not some fake plastic barbie doll with rubber balls as her tits don’t mean SHIt. She looks healthy and better then other girls with huge fake nasty breast such as audina partridge. Have you seen that lypo stomach and plastic tits????
    soooo wrong

  30. Katrina

    i think she looks smoking hot. just cause she’s not some fake plastic barbie doll with rubber balls as her tits don’t mean SHIt. She looks healthy and better then other girls with huge fake nasty breast such as audina partridge. Have you seen that lypo stomach and plastic tits????
    soooo wrong

  31. Katrina

    i think she looks smoking hot. just cause she’s not some fake plastic barbie doll with rubber balls as her tits don’t mean SHIt. She looks healthy and better then other girls with huge fake nasty breast such as audina partridge. Have you seen that lypo stomach and plastic tits????
    soooo wrong

  32. Scott

    Here comes a one sentence comment from an angry fat girl that will result in another 5 paragraph response from fat chicks suck.


  33. Plobes

    she is gorgeous

    so she is kind of flat and hasn’t had implants

    good for her!

    (most of) you all are such judgmental fat trolls

    but i still dont like her for fucking with MLP

  34. Ed

    I agree, she’s gorgeous. If I weren’t a heterosexual male, I’d be all over her.

  35. rough daddy

    it would be great, if she had some huge nips,,,that would compensate…

  36. Lauren

    She looks great – whoever disagrees is has some serious self-esteem issues, and to remark about her breasts, you’re a tool. TOOL. HELLO, breasts come in all sizes you freaking fuckjob. And undoubtedly you’re a complete troll.

  37. Larry Jones

    Nope. No boobies. I would like to spend a week with her ass however.

  38. Fat chicks suck

    “Ed,” #84, is a fat chick. Guaranteed. Go run on a treadmill “Ed”

  39. MSN/FCS

    In the United States today, over 66% of adults (age 18+) are overweight. Almost 33% of adults are obese.

    What if nobody in America were fat?

    We’d save billions of dollars in gas. Airlines would double their profits. A dearth of diabetes and other diseases would save billions of dollars more. Productivity would rise, creating tens of thousands more jobs and higher wages all around.

    If nobody in America was fat all of the financial problems (among countless other problems) in this country would be solved.

    The bad news? The percentage of fat people continues to rise higher and higher each year. The percentage of overweight and obese people in America has tripled in the last 20 years. Fat parents lead to even fatter kids. Fat people are decreasing the quality of living in America. That is a FACT!

    The social gains are more difficult to predict. Research has shown that people who are not obese marry more, are paid more, are promoted more, sleep better and have better sex lives.

    People are in fucking denial. Fat and lazy will eventually be the end of the human race. Not nuclear war, not an asteroid, not global warming. FAT. Instead of sitting around and complaining about people who aren’t fat…WHY THE HELL DON’T FAT PEOPLE DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT? It’s unfortunate nobody finds you attractive and you feel unwell but when you can do something about it then nobody should feel sorry for you. You’re in poor health but you’re lucky enough to have a disease YOU can take care of! The issue is that fat people are usually lazy and/or have no self-control (which is why they’re fat in the first place) so they never do anything about it. It is absolutely pathetic.

  40. cat

    she needs to eat a big mac combo.
    she’s way too skinny and looks unhealthy.

  41. cat

    anyone who thinks she looks “great” needs to have their heads examined.

  42. Fat chicks sucks

    cat is fat

  43. Fat chicks suck

    nobody thinks cat looks “great” – guaranteed. cat needs to run on a treadmill.

  44. my comment

    Too skinny and her dark roots are showing.

  45. Danklin24

    Where’s her tits and ass? I remember distinctly her having a great ass in that movie To Gillian on her 37th birthday and she actually had tits in that one movie she showed them in. Bring them back Claire.

  46. RCA

    I haven’t seen this dude since Varsity Blues. I was wondering what happened to him. Did anybody see him in that Evil Dead flick?

  47. Mike

    She is weird and tortured. She probably gets lots of dirty looks because of the Billy Crudup episode, and she seems to be taking it out on herself through starving herself and dating a homosexual ( Hugh Dancy ). She has an exhibitionistic streak as well. She seems to be in a kind of slow-motion downward spiral.

  48. Seth

    I think she’s hot. Billy Cutup is a loser. He LEFT this long time girlfriend for Claire Danes – she was not a home wrecker, he was out the door before he knocked up that girlfriend of his. I saw him once at a Bar in NYC and he as totally shit face hitting on my girlfriend and her friends. He was a total dog who kept throwing around his “I’m an actor” line on anyone willing to listen acting all deep and serious. I was spitting up beer. Anyway, about Claire, she’s hot and I’d definitely date her if she gave me the time and day. Of course I’m biased since I went to school with her brother in Ohio. I didn’t know him, but he was pretty nice and down to earth, and so were his parents so I assume they don’t let her get too conceited. I like a woman who’s comfortable with her body and doesn’t feel the need to saline her tits to “fit in.” She’s super gorgeous to me – lean, tall, and beautiful. Call me superficial, but I like them thin.

  49. NY Ted

    String bean straw leg Danes…with tiny miniature fried egg little boobies and a cheekless butt…Naw! I’d rather stick my salami tube into Helen Mirren!

  50. Helena

    What is wrong with everyone on here?! Nobody is perfect, you are ALWAYS critisizing celebrities like Eva Longoria and Mena Suvari, calling them fat!! Then Claire Danes is too thin, WTF do you want from these people, i doubt any of you would look even a quarter as good in a bikini/speedo!! Get lives people!

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