Chyna Doll cries like a little baby

February 9th, 2007 // 66 Comments
chyna-crying.jpg

Joanie Laurer (aka Chyna Doll who used to be Chyna on the WWF) broke down in tears last night on “Larry King Live” as she talked about her “friend” Anna Nicole Smith who she met while filming her last film Illegal Aliens. And to make things even weirder, a spokesperson for Trimspa kept interrupting her saying Anna Nicole told her that Chyna was “a stalker” and not her friend. And I know it’s usually not cool to make fun of somebody while they’re grieving, but I’m pretty sure an exception can be made for stalkers. Christ, can you imagine looking out your window and seeing this thing hiding in the bushes? No wonder Anna Nicole was taking sedatives. If I saw this face every time I looked over my shoulder I’d probably start drinking horse tranquilizers by the bucket.

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  1. danielle

    That’s a dude.

  2. PunjabPete

    I saw this silly bitch on LK last night… She mumbled and bumbled every question and sounded like an idiot. Seriously…

    Questions like… “Did you call anyone when you found out”…

    Um.. well. I um. I was called myself… I was surprised… I well… I guess… Um. No.

    You did a movie with her freak. Nothing more. Go shave your back hair and return to your cave….

  3. Booger

    Chyna has issues… seen her on Fame Games? She attached herself in a strange way to Brigette Nielson on like the first day. If you notice, Brigette distanced herself from Chyna as well.

  4. Trixie

    Forget Chynna..What the hell was John James, aka Jeff Colby from Dynasty and the Colby’s doing on Larry King? He and his wife are friends with Anna Nicole? This amazed me..I havent seen the dude in years.
    Back to Chynna ICK…what the hell?
    That Trimspa lady is a whore too. They made all their money from exploiting poor Anna, when we know those pills are nothing more than placebos anyway….Only in America….

  5. JungleRed

    That sasquatch aint no doll. The scavenger’s dont’ waste any time picking at the remains.

  6. Larry King

    I’d hit it.

  7. JungleRed

    Sorry, my apostrophe’s are off.

  8. HisAngel0714

    Eww…I don’t get the attraction people have for this woman. She is so gross.

  9. Pointandlaugh

    ugh. “she” is a MAN. So damn scary.

  10. allyoops!

    Why is she carrying like 15 bottles of water in her arms when she has a gigantic LV bag?

    She reminds me of an ugly man version of michelle rodriguez in this picture…

  11. ImaCracka

    I saw that film where she did anal……

    Nasty……..

    China I mean… I would have liked to see Anna do anal….

  12. JungleRed

    @6: Unless you meant with a shovel, you are one sick son’bitch.

  13. Jay from the Bay

    Chyna is a man. Notice the scarf she’s wearing to cover up her Adams Apple? Not to mention her testes poking out at her skirt.

  14. Karri

    I agree with #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #8, #9, andd #10. And yes, I probably could didn’t have to list it like that, but I can because I’m cool.

  15. lustpockets

    She is carrying all that water to take the 1000s of prescription pills that she has stuffed in that LV bag.

    She and Anna were definately kindred spirits. The Rx train to helll is due anytime now at Joanies station. Tooooot tooooot !!

  16. My grammar bit the big one on that comment I just posted. I was trying too hard to rush and submit it before anyone else posted, but it was too late (3 more posts in the time it took me to type that). Haha.

  17. Karri

    My grammar bit the big one on that comment I just posted. I was trying too hard to rush and submit it before anyone else posted, but it was too late (3 more posts in the time it took me to type that). Haha.

  18. Apparently that just submitted twice. I’m going to go play with my imaginary friends now.

  19. lustpockets

    hey #11.

    I saw that too. I was confused though. Coudlnt tell if that was a clit or a tiny cock on Chyna? Maybe both? Did she live near Chernobyl?

  20. PunjabPete

    Well, it only gets more complicated… This would be good for the kid though…
    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070209/ap_en_ot/anna_nicole_smith_prince

  21. ChairmanoftheBored

    @19
    Bophal. She’d glow like an Oompa Loompa had she been in Chernobyl.

  22. I have to confess that I watched Chyna on The Simple Life. She makes the other D list celebrities like Vanilla Ice and Ron Jeremy look normal…

  23. tits_on_snack

    Ewww the memories of her penis clit. I can’t believe there are brain cells in my head dedicated to the sole purpose of remembering what Chyna’s clit looks like.
    Why do those brain cells survive, and the ones reserved for mathematical equations and shit I learned in highschool don’t.

  24. Chyna cried? I didn’t know tough men like that cried like that. i mean damn! that woman was BAWLING! she looked as if she was a two year old getting a shot at the doctor. damn. but hey, all men have a soft side…hers just isn’t that pretty.
    ~N@ughty

  25. JungleRed

    @10: She’s carrying the water bottles b/c the LV bag is filled with candy bars and bags of chips she stole out of larry King’s Green room.

  26. supafreak

    What’s Andre Agassi doing with that fat faced man?

  27. magickal

    I can’t believe HHH used to do her. Eewwwwww. Stephanie must slap him silly every time she’s sees Chyna…errr…Joanie on TV and has to be reminded of her man’s slumming days.

  28. RichPort

    Hey, have some respect! I’m trying to jerk off here, as a fitting Anna memorial. So I google some Anna in her prime, fapfapfap, check back here…Rosie O’Gargoyle. Thanks. Back to google, prime, fap, check…Chyna Dong. Thanks again. So who’s next, jrzmommy?

  29. PunjabPete

    Louis V makes “Manbags”???

  30. PunjabPete

    Her clit-penis is due to all the roids…
    Danny Bonadouchebag hit that once…
    Talk about nasty on nasty….

  31. innit

    Is that why “she” looks like that, from steriods?? I saw her on the Simple Life too and EVERYTHING about her made me conviced she was once a man…

  32. LukeWarmwater

    I believe she was on the SURREAL life. If she hung out with Paris and Nicole that would be an AWFUL threesome!

  33. lustpockets

    Of course the steroids did that. Dont you remember when she was a fucking hulk monster muslce bitch?

    If people looked like that normally, I would have a bone to pick with God.

  34. Richie Rich

    I like the old bag’s bag.

  35. babygreens

    I think Chynna has serious problems. On VH1 she ALWAYS looks and sounds like she’s on drugs. She needs help.

  36. dancehallcrasher75

    Chyna is crying because she is the father of Anna’s baby.

  37. caljenna

    I like how her friend is laughing in the 2nd picture. Way to show support there, buddy! Makes me think that was all for show just a little…

  38. Amazing how her muscles have shrunk since she isn’t shooting 3 gallons of roids into her ass every day.

  39. trashtalker

    if you got a issue get a tissue.

  40. Brak

    The space between her nose and upper lip is incredibly lengthy.

  41. sol

    i think it’s a longshot that she smells good.

  42. Saera

    jeez fucking gosh.
    Joanie Laurer aka chyna doll changed. D:

  43. The next time anyone bitches about Jessica Alba with napkins in her hair and no t wearing makeup, just think of this walking train-wreck.

  44. freakspeely

    Whenever my life sucks at its suckiest, all I have to do is look at Chyna and say “I’m glad I’m not in THAT bad of shape.”

    I remember a few months ago when TMZ got footage of her and Mary Carey getting denied at Hyde. Sadder than Tara Reid’s rejection from there, because Chyna was ready to stand around outside until the door guys let them in.

  45. burningsensation

    Chyna Doll’s got a drug related dirt nap in her immediate future too. She/He’s a mess.

  46. Dan

    WW*E*. WWF’s officially the wildlife people. Just saying.

  47. Starfish Troopers

    Didn’t this guy do a photospread in Playgirl awhile back?

  48. AnnoyingPseud

    Those pics above are giving me heartburn & nausea. But the comments made me nose squirt my iced tea.

    I think Trimspa killed ANS. We’ll likely find out the product contained nearly pure crystal meth & formaldehyde [hence there wasn't the facial degradation we usually see with meth use]. Cranked up on meth, ANS was then a target for the scheming Howard K. Stern, he of the methadone & other prescription meds he no doubt wasn’t taking himself. HKS likely dosed poor ANS with the cocktail [where's Gil Grisom when we need him!!??] of drugs so that in combo with Trimspa, she’d keel over & croak. Then he’d have the kid to use as a means to grab the estate & eventually the wealth of the Crypt Keeper [ANS's former hubby]. However, Howard K. Stern hadn’t counted on so many of us being CSI junkies and amateur sleuths…..

    Or: Has anyone confirmed if China Dolly was hundreds of miles away from Anna, as we know stalkers do kill their targets? Remember Selena & that fat fan club fuck who shot her? Maybe Chyna is the father of the baby….or Bonadouchebag…..I seriously doubt it’s Howard K. Stern’s kid though. Little jewish sperm have jewfros which make swimming up the cervix of a Gentile woman like ANS nearly impossible. Plus, we all know the only thing that HKS was fucking around with, have been her bank-accounts and other financial assets. He was likely afraid of her twat.

  49. wedgeone

    Check out those arms – I remember when she wrestled the men in WWE & she had GUNS! And I ain’t talking about her cans! Now those look like granny arms. You know the ones with the flabby triceps.
    #36 hit it right on the head.
    She looks like Liz Taylor with her sad face on. Liz Taylor now … not when Liz was 35.

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