Chuck Norris hates people thinking he’s badass

December 24th, 2007 // 51 Comments

Chuck Norris sued the publishers of a book that collects all the “mythical facts” about him from the Internet. The book The Truth about Chuck Norris was compiled by Ian Spector who started the popular website about Chuck Norris. He’s also named in the suit which was filed on Friday. The Associated Press reports:

“Some of the ‘facts’ in the book are racist, lewd or portray Mr. Norris as engaged in illegal activities,” the lawsuit alleges.
Norris, who rose to fame in the 1970s and 1980s as the star of such films as “The Delta Force” and “Missing in Action,” says the book’s title would mislead readers into thinking the facts were true.

I’ve always wanted to try one of these. Here goes: “Chuck Norris pees sitting down.” I did it! I’m the winner!

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Comments (51)

  1. samechick | December 24, 2007 at 9:04 am

    Chuck’s feigning modesty. He can cure cancer with his tears! I know it’s true because I read it on the internet.

    Reply
  2. lamuella | December 24, 2007 at 9:13 am

    They could just change the title of the book to “The ‘truth’ about Chuck Norris”

    Reply
  3. frank_the_dolphin | December 24, 2007 at 9:19 am

    I hope the guy he is suing has double life insurance. Chuck Norris once killed a man with his thoughts.

    Reply
  4. chiharu | December 24, 2007 at 9:24 am

    *Selamat Hari Natal*
    *Merry Christmas*
    *????*

    Reply
  5. Gez | December 24, 2007 at 9:28 am

    I have one:
    “Chuck norris doesn’t need plastic surgery. It only takes a tough look of him and the reality as we know it deflates around his face and his skin looks tigher”.

    Reply
  6. Gez | December 24, 2007 at 9:29 am

    …and his skin looks tighter”.

    Reply
  7. Superbad | December 24, 2007 at 9:30 am

    more vanessa. less chuck…

    damn she’s hot and cute… she better be at the club in new year’s

    Reply
  8. isitin | December 24, 2007 at 9:30 am

    #6, I guess you like hairy women with sideburns……..

    Reply
  9. Superbad | December 24, 2007 at 9:32 am

    do you know what will be the opening statement of Chuck Norris in court?

    a roundhouse kick to the judge’s face….case closed.

    Reply
  10. isitin | December 24, 2007 at 9:32 am

    Sorry #6, I meant #7………………

    Reply
  11. Superbad | December 24, 2007 at 9:54 am

    #10 you can guess what you want…to me, vanessa is hot ..should be wild in bed as well..

    Reply
  12. Rocko Solido | December 24, 2007 at 10:02 am

    Weird, I remember at the height of the annoying Chuck Norris Facts craze, good ol’ Chuck actually commented on it on his own website claiming that some were funny but he wasn’t fond of the ones that references him as Jesus being that he’s Christian/Catholic.

    Reply
  13. gerard Vandenberg | December 24, 2007 at 10:53 am

    THE MAN IS JUST HORNY. Even at his age that is possible!!
    THAT’S ALL FOLKS!!

    Reply
  14. maximmm | December 24, 2007 at 10:55 am

    Hmm… I suppose it’s one thing if people post them on Internet, but a rather different one if people try to profit from using his name.

    Then again, paparazzi do this all the time and get away with it…

    Reply
  15. Missystar | December 24, 2007 at 11:35 am

    What on earth is wrong with his face? And why is that bimbo’s hand right by his crotch?

    Reply
  16. Giggles | December 24, 2007 at 11:35 am

    Everyone can think I’m a badass instead.

    Reply
  17. Marc | December 24, 2007 at 11:47 am

    She: “Chuck, you’re the best.”

    Chuck: “I know…”

    Reply
  18. tommygun | December 24, 2007 at 12:28 pm

    Dude, you messed with Chuck. You are done. He will come for you. heheheheh

    Reply
  19. croatiansensation | December 24, 2007 at 12:42 pm

    why are you people talking about that teeny pop tart on the chuck norris comments area? wild in bed? you’ve probably never touched a boob in your life. go jack it in silence we don’t need to read it in every section.

    Reply
  20. FreakyTexan | December 24, 2007 at 1:18 pm

    I heard that if you say his name three times while looking in a mirror, that like, nothing happens.

    Reply
  21. s0fa | December 24, 2007 at 3:04 pm

    yeah but he also said awhile ago that he thought some of them were funny. so whatever

    Reply
  22. Ript1&0 | December 24, 2007 at 3:15 pm

    Look at how high he is.

    Reply
  23. Gabriel | December 24, 2007 at 3:31 pm

    Rodney King asked if we could all just get a long.

    Too bad Chuck Norris already had a long.

    Reply
  24. Chick Crack | December 24, 2007 at 4:13 pm

    His toupee is badass.

    Reply
  25. Bouffin | December 24, 2007 at 4:48 pm

    Chuck Norris sits down when he pees?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Li_OpJiQf_s

    Reply
  26. Bouffin | December 24, 2007 at 4:50 pm

    Chuck Norris sits down when he pees?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Li_OpJiQf_s

    Reply
  27. me | December 24, 2007 at 7:21 pm

    He’s 67 and still not one gray hair on his head.

    Reply
  28. engel | December 24, 2007 at 9:29 pm

    He is terrible.I am sure that people are interested in this news. Do you know so many people gave their own view at pubspa.com.

    Reply
  29. Gabriel | December 24, 2007 at 10:58 pm

    Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a toupee, he wears the hair of someone he scalped.

    Reply
  30. helley | December 24, 2007 at 11:23 pm

    C N is a great man .He is great, I think.BTW, someone saw his profile with hot & sexy photos on “WealthyKiss.com”, a dating site for celebrities and millionaires. It seems the profile looks sincere and attractive. Maybe even clebs feel lonely and lost sometimes. They also need love and fun. hehe.. Maybe sometimes they really need a soul mate rather than a rich buddy.

    Reply
  31. Gabriel | December 24, 2007 at 11:27 pm

    Chuck Norris doesn’t need a soul mate. He mated with all of Seoul.

    Reply
  32. D. Richards (Scum.) | December 25, 2007 at 12:40 am

    Goddamn. What an elderly man with no sense-of humor ol’ Chucky’s turned out to be. I’ve been to that site. Most of those sayings are hilarious; they’re all in good fun. Take a joke, karate-guy.

    Oh yeah. Chuck Norris was born in 1940. He’s almost seventy. Yes. He’s become the neighborhood old guy that lost his youth. I saw a photo of Norris with Presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee. God help us. Norris must be a conservative christian doushe-bag. Hanging out with a fucking baptist preacher. Fuck you Norris.

    Reply
  33. Uncle Eccoli | December 25, 2007 at 9:57 am

    Good for you, Chuck, I’d sue the bastards, too. All of this was done without his consent. Shameful.

    Reply
  34. Cool guy | December 25, 2007 at 1:56 pm

    noooo leave chuck aloneeeeeee

    Reply
  35. Gabriel | December 25, 2007 at 6:45 pm

    Call girls call Chuck Norris.

    Reply
  36. Gabriel | December 25, 2007 at 6:46 pm

    Chuck Norris’s ear bit Mike Tyson.

    Reply
  37. D. Richards (Comedian.) | December 25, 2007 at 7:18 pm

    The Romans didn’t crucify Jesus. Chuck Norris ordered Christ to nail himself to the wood, and he did.

    But Chuck felt bad. For Jesus was the man that trained him to kill thousands of vietnamese; they became close. Like brothers. So with a cross-bow, Chuck Norris fired a single arrow that pierced Jesus’s heart.

    Then Chuck fucked a bunch of jewish ‘broads’, as he says.

    Reply
  38. jaosn | December 26, 2007 at 1:14 am

    do you know what will be the opening statement of Chuck Norris in court?

    a roundhouse kick to the judge’s face….case closed.

    Reply
  39. jaosn | December 26, 2007 at 1:14 am

    do you know what will be the opening statement of Chuck Norris in court?

    a roundhouse kick to the judge’s face….case closed.

    Reply
  40. jaosn | December 26, 2007 at 1:16 am

    do you know what will be the opening statement of Chuck Norris in court?

    a roundhouse kick to the judge’s face….case closed.

    Reply
  41. jaosn | December 26, 2007 at 1:16 am

    do you know what will be the opening statement of Chuck Norris in court?

    a roundhouse kick to the judge’s face….case closed.

    Reply
  42. c0nfuzi | December 26, 2007 at 2:43 am

    chuck norris fact: chuck is old as fuck.

    Reply
  43. NunoH | December 26, 2007 at 3:42 am

    Chuck should get a sense of humor and new pants/belt combination.

    Reply
  44. pinkdate | December 26, 2007 at 5:45 am

    WOOWOOOW. IT’S not the time for them to have sex, the woman acts like a bitch, really she is,,. Gals at PinkMingle.com have seen her hook with another man on the LONDON street…. courious….LOL

    Reply
  45. busy | December 26, 2007 at 9:45 am

    chuck norris can slam a revolving door

    Reply
  46. woodhorse | December 26, 2007 at 12:00 pm

    Public humiliation is too good for Chuck “pwned by Bruce Lee and riding the downward wake ever since” Norris. After he actually made some money, he dumped his wife of several years for a newer model and to make it seem less so-typical-and-tawdry, they got themselves hitched by a holy roller fraud named “Buster” Kennedy (the preacher now prefers Lawrence but I prefer Buster as that reflects his true nature) who did time in the pen for beating a man to death with a fence post and then became a preacher while in prison. Local boy done good decided there was more money in preaching than beating people with a fence post – and more pussy as well. So you can judge Chuck Norris by the company he keeps as well. – this is not from a book, this is from knowing the people involved.

    Reply
  47. funny | December 26, 2007 at 1:03 pm

    Chuck Norris is so hott he made Rosie O Donnel straight

    Reply
  48. Uncle Milte | December 26, 2007 at 1:48 pm

    The reason I know this story is false is because Chuck Norris doesn’t file lawsuits. Congress simply changes the laws based on Chuck’s desires. Every Congressman votes “Yea”, or else.

    Reply
  49. King | December 26, 2007 at 7:37 pm

    He’s about to punch that bitch in the face!

    Reply
  50. Mighty Minnow | January 10, 2008 at 5:05 pm

    “Long Before Chuck Norris Put the “Laughter” into Manslaughter, He Was Putting the “Pro” into Propaganda.”

    http://mightyminnow.wordpress.com/2007/12/19/before-chuck-norris-put-the-laughter-in-manslaughter-he-was-putting-the-pro-in-propaganda/

    Reply

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