Christina Ricci wants Jessica Biel’s ass (Bingo!)

April 2nd, 2008 // 57 Comments

Christina Ricci, like most of the civilized world, wants Jessica Biel’s butt and she’s shouting it from the rooftops. Or People Magazine, if you want to argue over semantics:

“I asked my trainer, ‘Can you give me Jessica Biel’s butt?’” the actress – who starred with Biel’s beau Timberlake in last year’s Black Snake Moan – tells the U.K. edition of Elle. “I want a bigger butt.”
Alas, because of her tiny frame, “they said I couldn’t,” she laments. “Everyone wants what they can’t have!”

Christina Ricci, I, too want Jessica Biel’s ass. Mostly for haberdashery purposes, but we should get together sometime and compare notes. Perhaps over coffee or, oh, I dunno, my bathtub. Why not both? Just don’t laugh at my shower cap and scald my nips off with French Roast.


  1. lola


  2. Sara

    Christina Ricci has always fascinated me. I don’t if it’s because of her huge forhead or her elf look.

  3. howdyho

    omg she’s shoving her dog in a bag, someone call PETA!!!!!!

  4. Auntie Kryst

    What the fuck, take more time in line why don’t you? Where were these pictures taken? Is this dago Ricci the reason Heathrow was all fucked up last week??

  5. Meaghan

    Okay, before people start judging me please don’t talk about “wow, I can’t believe you did that” or “Man, you need Jesus”. Well, DUH I need Jesus…I need Him everyday regardless of any situation.

    So here is what happened. I am a very lonely person and have intimacy problems (just being close with many people) and have emotionally attached to someone who I was very close with. It was a girl who is many years younger than I am. I told her that I need to not hang out with her as much because of what is going on. I didn’t exactly word it right which I accept but I feel soooo guilty for telling her. I felt that it was something God pressed in my heart and even though I said it wrong, I don’t take back what I said. She said she understand but was just hurt at how I said it. I just wanted confirmation that I made the right decision.

  6. Jumpin_J

    No fair, Christina. I called for Jessica’s ass first!

  7. Meaghan

    in any friendship, people have the right to back away when they feel they need space. It is never easy, and almost never makes the other person feel good about it. Feel comfort in that. Pray that God !!!! lol

  8. Meaghan

    long story short i had my first lesbo experience so i think im like FRIST!!! now lol.

    any advise peoples?

  9. First Time

    Security, I think she is hiding a launch button under her tank top

  10. veggi

    Vote Meaghan!! The very first fathead cracked out lesbian president!!

  11. caljenna66

    I advise you to invest your lesbian money into a diary and vent your b.s. elsewhere.

  12. Meaghan what the fuck are you talking about??

  13. The Laughing G-d

    Meaghan a big black dildo will solve most of your problems

  14. Her big mistake was breast reduction surgery. It is as big a turn off as implants.
    Plus she would have been a super star by now if she had left those things alone.

  15. The Laughing G-d

    On to Christina, I think I preferred the slightly more meat. Then again, that is the plight of Hollywood woman, always too skinny or too fat, no middle ground.

  16. nipolian

    RE: #6 – I’m pretty sure that Meaghan is reciting a quote from the movie “Monster” starring none other than the subject of this post.

  17. Chauncey Gardner

    Chicks asses are cool – until they consume a bad burrito or protein shake and spray diarrhea all over a toilet bowl. Yes, even Biel’s ass sprays diarrhea, sometimes. While there are some people out there who pray for even the briefest glimpse of just such an event, it proves that even the hottest, most perfect ass on the planet is capable of the same hideous foulness as a fat Mexican bandido who’s gorged himself on refried beans. If Ricci really wants “an ass like Biel’s”, maybe she should just eat more burritos.

  18. Jimbotron

    She makes my Whitesnake Moan. And spit.

  19. roastbeef

    Meaghan, go play in traffic please.

  20. veggi

    okee dokes!

  21. Randal

    Christina Ricci looks great and fine just how she is and I’m not sure where this insecurity of wanting or needing a larger backside comes from. She can certainly excersise and tone her bum but really, there’s nothing wrong with it now, so why Christina, why?

    Love you just the way you are!


  22. #18 thank God I already ate before I read that..

  23. forget christina. her puppy is ADORABLE!

  24. ll

    I fucking HATE Jessica Biel.
    Who cares about her ass? She’s got zero personality. And an ass needs personality.

  25. lipper

    Gives Randall a “WTF” look and continues…

    She had a great rack, I agree. Why she went SO small is beyond me.

    She has a five head, and yet she wears her hair back. WHY?

    ….so many questions with this one.

  26. FRIST when did you become a lesbian??

  27. HuckyDucky

    I DO like this chick. Maybe it IS the elfy-ness.

  28. RENEE

    I love Christina Ricci, she’s one of my fav actresses. She sure has gotten tiny though…well, except for her pumpkin head, that is. But I think she’s beautiful in her own way, and very unique & talented.

  29. Oh about 20 comments ago give or take..

  30. Shep

    I want christina ricci’s tits. Preferably with the rest of her too.

  31. yolanda

    she has the perfect shape. now i want to go work out even though it’s my day off and i have to go to work. damn. i will look at her pic tomorrow and i will have a great work out. her dog is adorable too.

  32. TheRage

    i think Ricci is hot in a weird alien girl sort of a way, but if she wants ass, then she needs to eat something once in a while. being that skinny isn’t about exercise, it’s about starvation.

  33. Rat

    They can both sit on my face!
    And Meaghan you can too! Its all good! Good congrats and good luck!

  34. lil ol me

    Does anyone have any honest tips to get a great ass? Cause I work out, but my ass is just NOT like biel’s…honestly now, any great tried-and-true work out moves?

  35. FRIST, You do know that there is a new post??

  36. Anyone else wanna play kick the puppy? No, just me? Right…..

  37. Shep

    #35, call me. I’ll show you some special get your ass into shape moves :)

  38. Kim

    She should have said, “Can you give me Christina Ricci’s former tits?”

  39. So, good news is that the bird food only went up a couple bucks, if that, so I don’t know what they were talking about last time I was there. They should tell their customers stuff like that, ya know? I would have gone there and bought stuff twice if they hadn’t told me that. I should call the owner!

  40. what?

    Her frame is not that ‘tiny’, and I don’t know what that has to do with having a nice ass anyway. I’ve seen girls much thinner or ‘tinier’ than Christina Ricci with very nice, amazing asses.
    And Jessica Biel’s ass isn’t anything I find too nice to begin with. If she said Kim Kardashian’s ass, then yes, but Jessica Biel’s? nothing special about that ass.
    Anyway, a girl with the tiniest frame (a small frame) can have a nice and big ass. Obviously, a girl who is tiny is not gonna have an ass as big as Kim Kardashian (who has like a medium-even largeish sometimes frame), but she can have a big ass as nice or even nicer than Kim’s. It’s called PROPORTION. A girl with a small frame can have a big ass which is big for her proportions, but a HUGE ass like Kim K’s would actually look disgusting on her. Kim Kardashian has an ass that size because her frame is medium-large, if she lost weight, her ass would get smaller and proportioned to the rest of her body too.

  41. it's all about genetics

    #35 I’m afraid having a nice ass has to do with genetics more than with anything else. If you have no nice ass genes, you’ll never have a nice ass.

  42. Fai

    @ #43:

    Go die slowly in a tire fire. kthx.

  43. fatboy

    “Mostly for haberdashery purposes”
    That’s a great line.

  44. I will take Christina Rici’s cute little ass “as is”. Ok? Chrisitina?

  45. shimmy

    I want Biel’s ass. As a wall decoration. That being said, Chrissy’s cute lil elfy head will look good on my wall too.
    Yes, i’m in a harry potter mood.

  46. gurnion

    Breast reduction surgery is amoral and should be illegal.

  47. lola

    She has got some muscle which means that she has to eat :P It is when you see the thin bony arms that red flags start to go off. She will always seem younger because of her head and face, but very cute. The perfect button nose can make an average girl amazing!@@

  48. NonW00t

    She already has her ass… it’s called her “forehead”

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