Christina Ricci is world’s sexiest elf

February 21st, 2008 // 143 Comments

Christina Ricci attended the premiere of her new movie Penelope last night in LA. What I admire most about Christina Ricci is how she balances her acting career with her sacred duties to bake fresh batches of E.L. Fudge’s every night in a tree. I tried to find that tree once but gave up after a bear ate my Indian guide’s arm. In hindsight, maybe I shouldn’t have sprayed the chief with honey then kicked a sleeping bear in the stomach. Live and learn, I guess.

NOTE: I like how Reese Witherspoon showed up to the premiere looking like your mom. Before the show, she probably turned to her stylist and said “Make me look 40 – but with menopause!” Mission accomplished.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Splash News
superficial

  1. FIRST you smegma oozing penis holes

  2. pointandlaugh

    she SCARES me.

    SECOND!!!!

  3. Aretha

    chin chin chiiiiiin…chin of fools…

  4. Juice Me Up

    Any one have a close-up on that Tattoo?

  5. nikkk

    fourth omfgz

  6. Danklin24

    This chick is so fugly. You could show a movie on her forehead and the tit tattoo….classy lady.

  7. Sam

    She’s the crazy girl who lives in your apartment and always stares at you for too long before saying hi. You don’t know if she’s friendly or not, and you don’t want to know. You often hear loud noises in her apartment, lots of sex and slamming doors. When she wears something skimpy, you nod and say hi, trying to maintain eye contact, then go into your apartment and masturbate. You start to feel bad right in the middle of the last spurt.

  8. chenush

    I love her so much!!!!!!!!!

  9. Jennifer

    She looks pretty. Just saw her profile on millionaire dating site called BillionaireCupid dot com last week. She is writing her blog there.

  10. Rat

    Black Snake Moan! Must see!!
    She’s hot, nasty and the musics good too.

  11. chenush

    you dont understand, she is perfect!!!
    I love you christina!!!!!

  12. The Office Whore

    Gene Simmons has a sex tape.. and, no, not with his wife..

    For those of you whose eyes require some bleeding.

    This isn’t the a site to view it, it’s his…. well, you can read the link I imagine…

    http://valleywag.com/359336/gene-simmons-lawyer-confirms-sex-tapes-authenticity

  13. p911gt10c

    damn, she cut alot of weight.

    Oh, and #1, troll, you’re a loser.

  14. zane

    It’s less abnormal to want to fuck Britney than Bobbletroll Ricci. Britney’s just fat and crazy. Ricci will wait until you fall asleep then burrow into your spine.

  15. Cate

    Aww c’mon now, I like Reese Witherspoon… even if she does look like a mom.
    But she’s still a sexy mom.

  16. The Office Whroe

    And here’s Charlotte Church out singing Amy Winehouse.. shocker..
    Bonus: It’s ‘beat it’

    http://cgi.fark.com/cgi/fark/youtube.pl?IDLink=3415738

    k, that’s all fuckers. I’m going home to get drunk..

  17. Pete

    I imagine waking up in the middle of the night, and she’s awake too, and…her eyes are glowing.

  18. UCrawford

    I like how Reese Witherspoon showed up to the premiere looking like your mom.

    Right…like any of our moms look half as hot as her. Jesus, the girl goes casual and wears one untucked shirt and you’re writing her off. I would so knock the bottom out of that, even if she were your mom.

    And is it just me, or does Christina Ricci get exponentially hotter every year. She was weirdly-attractive in her teens, slutty-attractive in her early-twenties, and she’s just plain smoking hot now. Damn!!!

  19. mrbuckles

    I liked her better when she weighed more and had that ginormous rack.

    And, when did she get married?

  20. wim

    Together, Christina and Reese are scary. Two petite hyperintense pointy-chinned psychos with huge eyes that don’t blink often enough. But I’m glad that Christina finally found some meth that worked for her and a nice same-old same-old sellout stylist. She was never going anywhere as a chunky counterculture arthouse actress.

  21. UCrawford

    Man, I’d lick that little mole right off of her. :)

    I don’t think she’s married.

  22. fearsarewishes

    99% of all tattoos are absolutely pure crap and are positive proof of the straight-out-of-the-trailer park origins of those sporting them. This especially true of this particular stencil job.

    By the way, the other 1% are even worse.

    Thank you.

  23. Whodathunk

    Is Auntie Kryst a MAN?

  24. Tapeworm

    Huge fucking cow eyes: check.
    Round face: check.
    Slutty disposition: check.
    A little doughy: check

    Hmmmm…. sign me up! NOT.

  25. alex oz

    ewww whats that thing in riccis side look like copy of melani grifin !!!!
    that ricci sure made some god surgery

  26. Auntie Kryst

    @25 Yes I am a man, who the fuck are you? I’m also an American, a voter, drunk, and I take shits bigger than you.

    @18 Wait up Whore, don’t drink alone!

  27. Randal

    Very beautiful. She’s done well for herself and continues to build a solid and very respected acting portfolio.

    Your fans support you Christina!

  28. nile

    She can unwrap my package anytime…

  29. Shes very skinny again.
    Eating disorder anyone?

  30. Kriz

    24. That’s just, like, your opinion man.

  31. monkeyfightclub

    She looks like an east european prostitute. Which isn’t a bad thing I guess.

  32. Rand

    No, she does not have an eating disorder. Christina has done very well for herself by eating healthy and properly, as well as continuing to excersise daily for a well defined, desired body shape.

    Your fans support you Christina. Keep it up!

  33. Handcock

    i like her titties, yep

  34. JABLOME

    @24 tatoo’s are permanent, your still a tiger……….nothing has changed.

  35. Sid

    “No, she does not have an eating disorder. Christina has done very well for herself by eating healthy and properly, as well as continuing to excersise daily for a well defined, desired body shape.”

    hahahahahaha! good one!

    no, seriously, is it an eating disorder or drugs? the obvious guess is drugs.

  36. Randal

    It’s not drugs nor an eating disorder. Christina has always avoided the heavy use of any hard substance and would never pop pills in an attempt to stay slim and in great shape. A focused mind toward healthy eating and daily excersise can help maintain a well rounded figure well into the late stages of ones life.

    Christina is a prime example of how eating healthy and staying fit will do, not only to one’s figure but also self esteem.

  37. noelle

    hey, Superficial Writer? don’t hate on reese. usually i think your sexism is funny (even though im a girl) but just because reese isnt showing every inch of her body (like the whore christina ricci) she still looks put together and naturally beautiful.
    it’s all very funny until you diss miss witherspoon. . .then it gets personal.

  38. Ted from LA

    Tattoo+Human Skin = Dumb Fuck

  39. morga

    I liked Ricci better when she had a little meat on her bones.

  40. me

    She was amazing between 17-23, after that all the bad tattoos/breast reduction/bad haircuts she’s just completely hit the wall.

    I don’t even like big breasts, but hers were hypnotic.

    ps big foreheads are sexy.

  41. fearsarewishes

    #32

    No, that is an universally known fact. That’s right, universal.

    I mean even on fucking Pluto they know tattoos are for cretins.

    #36

    I have no idea what you are trying to say, but thank you for playing.

  42. Phil

    What? I think Reese looks absolutely stunning.

  43. JABLOME

    Hey, no problem! Thankfully Pluto’s not part of our universe anymore.

  44. Sid

    “Christina has always avoided the heavy use of any hard substance”

    hahahahahahaha! Another good one!

    heavy and hard, baby, that’s the way Christina likes…everything.

  45. fearsarewishes

    #45

    The universe is most commonly defined as everything that physically exists. Ergo, there is not “our” universe and some “other universe”.

    Pluto is no longer considered a planet, but it is most certainly in the universe.

    And Heywood Jablome is rocking some righteous tattoos, I’ll bet.

  46. ph7

    Stomach stapled.

  47. J from Spain

    what do you mean – Reese looks cute!!!

  48. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
    Thankfully Pluto’s not part of our universe anymore.
    HAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    That guy is GREAT!!! I hope he come here EVERY day!!

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