Christina Hendricks just broke my penis and other news

February 15th, 2010 // 125 Comments

- Simon Monjack returns donations made to Brittany Murphy Foundation because being a shady widower is this week’s fake-pregnant elf. [PopEater]

- Victoria Beckham is apparently going to crash the Oscars. [Lainey Gossip]

- Pamela Anderson is still trying to defy physics with her massive tits. Which is why she’s my constant. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Robert Pattinson overcomes his fear of noonerholes for a paycheck. [Huffington Post]

- Fergie: A Retrospective in Penis Tucking. [TheFABlife]

- Leonardo DiCaprio lets Bar Refaeli come to his fancy events. [Just Jared]

- Madonna wants to direct. But first the blood of a Scotsman! [Dlisted]

- Blake Lively wants $2.5 million to do Playboy. Quick, somebody tell Hugh to sell his girlfriends into white slavery. [Celebslam]

- Tiger Woods knocked up Joslyn James twice? Dammit! Who’s forgetting to sterilize porn stars? C’mon. [The Blemish]

- Jennifer Hudson dropped 56 pounds. Guess she wants to fly Southwest. [Bossip]

- Jay-Z isn’t a fan of “We Are the World” remake. [PopSugar]

- Heidi Montag is on her way to becoming what she was destined to be: a mannequin. [Amy Grindhouse]

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  1. YoYoYo

    First!

  2. Hefe

    Hendricks has the most bodacious tits I’ve ever laid eyes on.

  3. Anon

    “Jennifer Hudson dropped 56 pounds. Guess she wants to fly Southwest.”

    Brilliant.

  4. Sher

    Yay for curvy girls!

  5. MissZ

    I’m all for curvy women but this cover is bad. What’s up with the zombie eyes and nappy hair? Oh right, no one’s looking at that. Just her rack. OK then.

  6. julia

    the cover is shitty. could have been better. the other picture is okay I guess.

  7. Miguel

    If you’re looking at her eyes or hair, you’re doing it wrong.

  8. Dan

    Amazing – they actually managed to make her look unattractive. She deserves a better shot.

  9. Tiffany

    @Miguel- Oh, heck yes!

  10. Lux

    She’s one of the most gorgeous women in the world.
    What bothers me is that women who call themselves “curvy” will want to say she’s their poster girl, but she has nothing in common with big women.

  11. Richard McBeef

    Just like katy perry, big tits don’t make you hot. They just make you a dog with big tits.

  12. black jesus

    can you imagine how soft and luscious this chick is???????

    holy F U C K !!!!!!!!!

  13. Joey

    She has eyes?

  14. AnnaDraconida

    I hate that fat chicks will point at such women and say SEE? CURVES ARE SEXY!

    CH isn’t OVERWEIGHT. Does she have a fat neck? NO. Does she have a fat gut? NO. She is CURVY, not OBESE. Stop mixing up the 2, FFS

  15. holy shite

    :woah: I do not know about you guies but I think I am going to wack off now

  16. testington

    Wooa, who did she piss off to end up with picture? I’m sorry but any red carpet photo I’ve ever seen of Christina is far prettier than this cover, heck hit freeze frame on any scene of her in madmen and you’ll get a better photo.

  17. Matrim

    Once again, I’d like to inform you that I would kill any one of you for a night with this woman. That is all.

  18. They’re so lop-sided that one suspects that they might be real.

  19. Rough on ice

    This Jay Z’s getting way too big for his britches, doesn’t he believe in going green when it comes to talents.

    Superb tits, but im still not googling…

  20. Hank

    I think the lopsidedness is from her pose, not her boobs. Her boobs are epic!
    I agree w/ most of the posters though- this is a really horrible picture. Quite in keeping with ‘fashion’ photographers, they can’t photograph a beautiful woman without making her look like a brown-bagger or a street walker. I can only dream of being paid that much money to do such a crappy job.

  21. she doesn't look hot here

    FAT ginger. looks like a kindergarten teacher. Britney Spears is half the size of this woman, I am not just talking about her tits. It is true and you know it …

  22. SATAN

    her lips in the 2nd pick almost made me shoot my wad

  23. flavio

    wowza. omg. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, mmmm, ohhhhhh agghhhhhhh

  24. bevo

    Oh, goddaman. Broken penis? Try broken internet.

    Hang on. I will be back in 10, no 5 minutes.

  25. Alli

    is that a Lost reference in the Pam Anderson story? if so, that is great. haha

  26. The body looks good, but the face? They shoulda used those extensions to cover it up!

  27. kingofbeer

    GOD DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    SHE IS FUCKIN FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  28. Rasputins Liver

    *

    All I can say is…..damn.

    *

  29. Posh

    She looks like a human cow.

  30. Hennifer Lopez

    THANK YOU #14

    When i think of the word “curvy” I think small flat stomach, shapely legs, with nice hips, butt and great breasts

    All the fat asses in the world try to justify their gross ugly bodies by saying they are “curvy”

    FUCK no you aint curvy, you are a hippo. FAT ISNT CURVY

  31. yoyoyo

    I would some snowpeaks on the top of her mountains

  32. Epic Merkin

    The boobs are fake. You can look them up on any plastic surgery celeb site.

    That said, this guy must really like wigs and fire crotches.

  33. makenzie

    they did some major fishing to find the thirty best outfits for fergie. some were ugly. seriously? pants and a jacket? not sexy

  34. darcy

    I love how asshole men think it’s acceptable to be bigger if you have the “right” body type. Some women gain weight in their hips, other in their guts or arms… This woman has a perfect hourglass body and that is very rare in nature.

  35. @35 – shut up, you fat jealous cow.

  36. COCK LOVER

    no COCK????

  37. Mr. Nice Guy

    She is by FAR the Hottest, most Fuckable woman out there today. Used to be Scarlett Johansson, but she has gotten boring. CH is super hot. BTW, number 35, if you don’t have an Hourglass, lose weight.

  38. Mr. Nice Guy

    She is by FAR the Hottest, most Fuckable woman out there today. Used to be Scarlett Johansson, but she has gotten boring. CH is super hot. BTW, number 35, if you don’t have an Hourglass, lose weight.

  39. Hi Guy’s,
    looks like a kindergarten teacher. Britney Spears is half the size of this woman,

  40. Tucker Jay

    #14, BE MINE?!

  41. Insatiable Peter

    With those tits, I’d last a fortnight.

  42. Puddin' Taine

    I’d eat that ass day & night

  43. tc

    #38.

    I would just like to repeat exactly what you said.

    …no, wait – you already did that….

    Check her out in firefly or life. Unfuckingbelievablyfuckable.

  44. Doc Schweinstrudel

    I don’t like her and her big fake udder, people who do that on themselves look pathetic and disclose no talent, no pride to be a personality rather that some worthless fucktoy for some man. A woman who hasn’t had a baby isn’t supposed to have such idiotic DDs that can only fit into grandma’s corcet. Wikipedia says she is a natural blond has been dying her hair red since age of ten! Shame on you sister!
    Sooo it’s ok to fucking have FAT on yourself as long as its fairly distributed to please men’s nasty genitals???
    Why do you people bash Heidi and not this skank? Because she starred in some make belief idiotic Man Men show that was as boring and as removed from reality as hell knows what!!!

  45. Now There is a fit, healthy, attractive woman. And with acting skills to boot, I sure hope she has a long and productive career ahead of her. In the immortal words of being supportive “you Go girl!”

  46. Doc Schweinstrudel

    Quote:
    From the perspective of a Board Certified Plastic Surgeon, here are the flaws with this lady’s “job”:

    * The right implant is higher than the left. Asymmetry!
    * Were the implants placed on top of the muscle? On a thin patient, I would recommend that the implants be inserted beneath the muscle.
    * The implants are far too big for her frame.

    Overall, she looks ridiculous. If she is interested in a natural result, she should find a doctor who is Certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgery.

  47. Poo Poo

    @14 Rare if you’re lily white.

  48. Poo Poo

    ^^^ Err…@35

  49. Oh, thanks!
    I’ve nice jerked off watching her Playboy video.

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