Christina Hendricks FAIL

May 4th, 2010 // 109 Comments

Christina Hendricks’ gimungous funbags attended the Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art last night and I have no clue what’s going on here. She looks like an over-stuffed blue crayon that’s also a vampire. Parents are probably showing these pics to their kids to scare them into doing their homework. “And there’s only one thing that can stop Breastferatu from buttering the window and squeezing her way in: Algebra.

EDIT: In case anyone wants to say January Jones is the hotter Mad Men chick, I added a row of her at the MET Gala also to show there’s really no winners here.

Photos: Getty, Splash News
superficial

  1. -Lmega5-

    WTF IS THAT CREATURE ON HER SHOULDER O_o

  2. iysssssssssssssss

    biggggggggggg

  3. Sandookin

    I think its a tribble….
    One that multiplies by being near ginormous breasts…
    Enjoy your last days on Earth…

  4. zuzuspetals

    Every picture I’ve seen of Christina Hendricks makes me think she’s desperate for attention and that’s not attractive at all. I really don’t understand why women think that squeezing their breasts together like that is fetching. It’s heinous and it’s a pathetic cry for attention. And the only people who actually pay attention are men and women who are regressed, emotional infants. Instead of torturing yourself with a Wonderbra, why not carry around a baby bottle instead?

  5. shine

    she’s no m ore overstuffed than usual

  6. Zesty

    THIRD
    She’s still retarded in the chestal region.

  7. Nano

    She’s usually very beautiful, but the dress is ghastly. And what’s that creature on her shoulder?!? Major fail

  8. Booooiiiinnng.

    Breastferatu Well played.

  9. Moloch

    “Breastferatu”! “Algebra”! That’s just priceless, dude.

  10. RICK JAMES

    BEWARE THE GINGER!!! BEWARE THE GINGER!! Don’t stare at it!!! It’s chest will engulf you all!!!

  11. Omg, i would love nothing more than to be all about her fucking tits. Jesus Christ she’s fucking hot.

  12. Birdleggz

    I know totally irrelevant here….but…..is it me or does Snooki look like a plump Thorny from Super Troopers? What a freaking train wreck.

  13. Birdleggz

    I know totally irrelevant here….but…..is it me or does Snooki look like a plump Thorny from Super Troopers? What a freaking train wreck.

  14. bi chick

    I don’t love her hair and make-up here, so I understand the vampire comment.

    But with such large breasts, what else can she do? It’s not like she deserves to be mocked for BUYING them, they are clearly real and at that size, probably very heavy. I don’t know her age, but they likely hang pretty low which can cause back pain and stretch marks. It’s not so much a Wonderbra (which are used to make small breasts look larger, dumass), as a piece of construction.

    I promise if she were to let them hang, she would not only put herself in pain and risk the integrity of the skin, but be ridiculed even more aggressively.

  15. Crusty

    She has a Pomeranian on her shoulder. I hope its potty trained.

  16. #7 and #14, agreed.

  17. nice, natural looking hair color Christina.

    Oh, and her tits are not “Huge” garden variety tits. She is always pushing them up to the point of absurdity. Here’s a pic of her NOT pushing them up:

    http://thesuperficial.com/2009/10/christina_hendricks_is_an_ampl.php?bfm_index=6&bfm_page=0

  18. kristal

    What the hell…. I think she looks pretty. I think you are blowing this way out of proportion. She looks pretty. January Jones is also pretty. Her outfit might not be the best, but it’s really not that bizarre.

  19. Kate

    She is HEDIOUS and pathetic! She is UGLY…Wedding Photo’s said it all…and the fake chest is just gross. I am naturally BIG BREASTED and even if I stuffed them together you would never see the obvious BAGS she has sewen into her…because mine are REAL!!!

  20. Kate

    She is HEDIOUS and pathetic! She is UGLY…Wedding Photo’s said it all…and the fake chest is just gross. I am naturally BIG BREASTED and even if I stuffed them together you would never see the obvious BAGS she has sewen into her…because mine are REAL!!!

  21. Kate

    Bi-Chick…I would think you would KNOW better…I am wrong. Check out POSH and her ROUND DISC”S and this nobody DISC’S…THEY ARE FAKE. PERIOD. Natually BIG BREASTED woman DON’T HAVE DISC’C ON THEY CHEST!!!

  22. Parker

    It’s not the dress that makes the woman it’s her butt so I’d still pop one off inside January Jones’ sweet little ass.

  23. whoa nelly

    if she pushes those puppies up any harder, they’re going to be forced up her throat and shoot out of her mouth.

  24. Crabby Old Guy

    Okay, here we go.

    1. It looks like a casting call for a Fellini film
    2. Babe, just show us your tits so we can all move on to the next set. Time’s a wastin’! Come on, drop the dress, lose the bar and let the jiggling begin.
    3. There is no “3″ – just repeat step 2 and on with hooterpalosa so we can get ready for Katy Perry’s rack.

  25. ewww

    that push up bra must have more steelwork in it than the Golden Gate Bridge.

    how can she breathe?

  26. Frankenfurter

    JJ looks like a ghoul. A ghoul who chose her dress while drunk and/or high.
    Both these ladies need to get a new stylist/makeup team.

  27. Deacon Jones

    Hendricks by far

    But….
    I’m going to say her tits may be fake…she’s had enough work on her face, so it wouldnt surprise me if theyre fake. She never shows em’ off enough though to tell for sure.

  28. Me Again

    They both look ridiculous in these pictures. What is with January’s eye make up?

    Christina has a nice body but she doesn’t know how to dress it. She has a very tacky sense of fashion.

    January jones sometimes looks like Grace Kelly. And other times I find her to be so homely. It depends with her.

  29. Michael

    They look pretty hot to me…you’re all gay!

  30. chupacabra

    @19. Kate – have you ever pushed your supposedly real breast up and in as far as they go?

    I just did an experiment in my office: I am a 36DD. I just pushed them up as far as I could, and together, like Christina’s photo. Yes, the make a little round area that idiots like you would mistake for saline inserts. They are round. My boobs are just ROUND. Like boobs are supposed to be, and when you force them up, the round has to stop somewhere, like the TOP of your chest, where your BREAST ends. That is why they look “fake” because they are pushed so far up.

    Fake breasts show that round saline insert when they are just HANGING down. That’s where you are getting that.

    Christina’s are very real, and spectacular.

  31. Tek

    I like both of these chicks, but my guess is that they took the whole “Costume” thing literaly? Not a good look.

    Christina can’t dress for shit. Maybe she figures that as long as her massive tits are nearly popping out, then it’s all good. Normally I wouldn’t disagree, but she looks like she’s auditioning for one of those Twilight crapfest movies here.

  32. chupacabra

    @19. Kate – have you ever pushed your supposedly real breast up and in as far as they go?

    I just did an experiment in my office: I am a 36DD. I just pushed them up as far as I could, and together, like Christina’s photo. Yes, the make a little round area that idiots like you would mistake for saline inserts. They are round. My boobs are just ROUND. Like boobs are supposed to be, and when you force them up, the round has to stop somewhere, like the TOP of your chest, where your BREAST ends. That is why they look “fake” because they are pushed so far up.

    Fake breasts show that round saline insert when they are just HANGING down. That’s where you are getting that.

    Christina’s are very real, and spectacular.

  33. chupacabra

    and by the way, Christina is a freaking goddess.

  34. Tek

    For what it’s worth I’m pretty sure her tits are real. It’s just a bunch of kids and haters (you know who you are, with your bee stings) on the ‘net that wouldn’t know real from fake anyway.

  35. Robert

    Stunning woman.

  36. GiRL

    Yes #32… I know what you’re talking about. Although just because you can do it doesn’t make it right. I mean I’m pretty sure she got implants, though, didn’t she folks? Either way–it doesn’t matter. This look that she is constantly sporting with a V neckline (in EVERY dress she wears) is tired, overexposed, and no where near goddess standards.
    Maybe if I was obese I would call her a goddess, but damn… this bitch looks like she has literally had an entire bodysuit of Spanx made for her. She always looks so terribly uncomfortable and sucked in and pushed up and WTF.

    This is trickery, I tell you. We shoud have a contest as to the amount of undergarments she has under that horrid dress better suited for one that is size 0.

  37. GiRL

    http://www.techbanyan.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/ChristinaHendricks.jpg

    I mean at least she looks like she can breathe here. I won’t hate on this look.

  38. Willie Dixon

    Ms. Hendricks apparently drained a small ginger boy and placed his scalp on her shoulder.

  39. Rough daddy

    Are those her only possession. Every minute with the look at me everybody, I have big boobz…

  40. steven

    everyone, she is an attractive woman who isnt a size 0

    her breasts are lovely, and i think they look great pushed up.

    hot hot hot

  41. steven

    vampire? she’s ginger! gingers generally have pale skin. so she has 2 choices to avoid ridicule: tan and get cancer, or fake tan and look fake.

  42. waitingforcodot

    I love the fake/real debate here. Look, they’re real, alright? Why is there a line around the top? Because they’re wedged into a designer dress (which explains why the dress is horrid, do you people even know what the MET Gala was celebrating?), and eventually breasts have to come to a STOP. What do you honestly think they do? Slide under the skin and pop out wherever convenient? No! They have a set place to be and when pushed they go as far as they can and then just stop.

    She doesn’t have implants, surely you must know by now that when people make their breasts as big as her naturals are, they look REALLY bad (veiny, too shiny, all-around gross) but hers look great! Everybody puts weight on in different places, it’s how we as a species work. Just because all your fat goes right to your ass and thighs doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone. It is possible to have large breasts all on your own. Come to the UK, we have ‘em all over the place!

  43. Breastferatu

    Dear Mr. Fish,

    You should see my cans jiggle while I get hosed missionary style.

    Love, Breastferatu

  44. bobby

    am i the only one who likes who boobs? i love the veins on them too. shows just how real she is

  45. bar room hero

    WTF?????

  46. Mike

    #19. Take a good hard look at these pics, because these are what your man is thinking of each and every time he unloads on your face. Skeet skeet skeet!

  47. sb

    SEXIEST! WOMAN! EVER!
    God, she is so incredible. I can’t get enough of her. I could do without the crazy makeup, but that aside, THANK GOD Hollywood has finally embraced a real woman with hips and boobs and a curves that guys want to see!!!

  48. sb

    SEXIEST! WOMAN! EVER!
    God, she is so incredible. I can’t get enough of her. I could do without the crazy makeup, but that aside, THANK GOD Hollywood has finally embraced a real woman with hips and boobs and a curves that guys want to see!!!

  49. sb

    SEXIEST! WOMAN! EVER!
    God, she is so incredible. I can’t get enough of her. I could do without the crazy makeup, but that aside, THANK GOD Hollywood has finally embraced a real woman with hips and boobs and a curves that guys want to see!!!

  50. GOD

    I am pleased, FISH. You shall have that LILF, Xtina Ricci. Breastferatu! Nice.

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