Christina Applegate ‘100 percent clear’ of breast cancer

Christina Applegate has pwned breast cancer. In an interview today on Good Morning America, Christina revealed that doctors were able to successfully remove the cancer, and she’s good to go. ABC News reports:

“I’m clear,” the star of “Samantha Who?” said. “Absolutely 100 percent clear and clean. … They got everything out so I’m definitely not going to die from breast cancer.”

Congratulations to Christina on her speedy recovery, and also, thanks for keeping it a secret that I cured you with my sexiness. True story.

EDIT: So, when I wrote this post late last night there was no talk of double mastectomies. Fortunately, Christina Applegate is remarkably positive about the whole thing according to the AP: “I’m going to have cute boobs ’til I’m 90, so there’s that. I’ll have the best boobs in the nursing home. I’ll be the envy of all the ladies around the bridge table.” Breast implants: Is there anything they can’t solve?