Christina Aguilera’s boobs are shrinking! Get me the Pentagon!

Christina Aguilera’s post-pregnancy mamma-jamma’s of power (above from February) are rapidly shrinking, according to The Sun:

Like countless other celebs mums, the Dirrty star has been quick to shed the pounds after giving birth. Apparently, she has been doing a spot of boxing as well as lifting weights in a bid to get into shape for her chart comeback.

Christina has also taken up swimming but not the healthy aerobic kind. It’s more like the “totally gross I can’t believe I’m out to repeat it” kind:

Her neighbours have reportedly got a little upset with Xtina and hubby, JORDAN BRATMAN, going skinny dipping at their $6 million Beverly Hills mansion because they’re TOO noisy.
One told a US magazine: “They don’t just splash around – they laugh, scream, swear and make sexy noises.”

In the future, scientists will discover this post and point to the above paragraph as the evidence that finally convinced society as whole that God does not exist. Though a small band of rebels will claim that the Lord favors Sasquatch race. They will secretly meet every third Sunday to bounce around a strippers giant breasts before eating beef jerky out of a cooler. Hey – I want in! I’m religious and shit.