Christina Aguilera has a birthday party

December 19th, 2008 // 61 Comments

Christina Aguilera went with A Clockwork Orange theme for 28th birthday at Osterria Mozza last night, and remind me to thank her for letting Jordan Bratman play dress-up, too. I was just thinking to myself the other day “It’s been way too long since my retinas burned with an intense white-hot hellfire.”

On that note, Katie Holmes’ birthday was also yesterday, but she didn’t have cool guests like Paris Hilton with douchebag date and Nicole Richie. Instead, Tom Cruise brought a cake onstage during the curtain call of her Broadway show. If that’s not boring enough for you, she also turned 30 and might as well be a man at this point. Which is probably the best marriage advice anyone’s ever given her. So, hey, Happy Birthday!

Photos: Flynet
superficial

  1. Truth doctor

    I bet she was wishing for an AIDS cure. Too bad, maybe next year.

  2. now that’s one devotchka who could use a bit of the old ultra-violence.

  3. Rabbit

    What’s with the cane?

  4. Ooh la la

    I love the long underwear look. We’ve got a guy that does that, although he usually wears shorts with it.

  5. Doc Holiday

    DUDE, I can’t believe you are OLD ENOUGH to associate anything with a clockwork orange!
    (great flick by the way)

  6. Skintight white, not a good look there Christina…

  7. jimbob

    Her tits fell off!

  8. Deacon Jones

    @7
    Exactly. Looks like shit, lose the weight you slob! Stop eating all the Jewy Jew food

  9. LL

    Has Christina actually seen “A Clockwork Orange”? If so, can we assume that her birthday wish is to participate in a gang rape (or be gangbanged herself)?

    She’s a good singer, but she has appalling taste in, well, lots of stuff. Clothing, makeup, costumes, hairstyles… I’ll reserve judgment on her husband. Yes, he looks like a Hobbit, but if he’s a decent person, we shouldn’t count that against him.

  10. I see the have the requisite Russian whores in attendance, according to the last two pictures.

  11. havoc

    She looks like a giant tampon….

    .

  12. p0nk

    if Katie Holmes was a man, she might finally see some cock.

    rich, you say “russian whore” like that’s a bad thing.

  13. Thumperchica

    Someone seemed to be working hard at taking the shittiest pictures of all time!

  14. Vince Lombardi

    No wonder they say black is slimming. Apparently, white has the opposite effect. Moooo!

  15. Cock-knocker

    @3 Alex has a cane which he beats the old tramp up with, and he uses it when he’s raping that woman and doing his rendition of Singin’ In The Rain.

    Anyway, that stupid schlut can’t help but plaster on a whole truckload of tacky, clashing make-up, even when it doesn’t fit in with the theme of her whole evening. Alex and his droogs never wore red lipstick, pink blusher and blue eye shadow.

  16. Cock-knocker

    @3 Alex has a cane when he beats the old tramp up, and he uses it when he’s raping that woman and doing his rendition of Singin’ In The Rain.

    Anyway, that stupid schlut can’t help but plaster on a whole truckload of tacky, clashing make-up, even when it doesn’t fit in with the theme of her whole evening. Alex and his droogs never wore red lipstick, pink blusher and blue eye shadow.

  17. Suri Cruise

    Didn’t they have any childhood?, they look ridiculous.

  18. Dr.

    That damn baby drank all her boobs away!

  19. Cock-knocker

    My 15 + 16
    - delete as appropriate.
    Or not.

  20. Bushido

    Which characters did Paris Hilton and that thing with her go as?

    She should’ve worn the 70s red catsuit with the tits and bush area cut-out.

  21. Why isnt jawless Jordan kissing his wife on the lips? i dont sense sexual chemistry between the two…

  22. Sport

    What the fuck?
    It’s Mr. Peanut.

    GAY.

  23. Jammy

    Viddy well that horroshow ptitza, droogies!

  24. Is Kevin Smith filming Clerks 3 in the first few pictures?

  25. Obama the Messiah

    #2 Jessica, you have a nice rack. Some of your links didn’t work though.

  26. Jessica needs to lose 155 pounds!

  27. Korova McLashen

    Oh My!

    Och aye the noo and hello my little supafishul droogies, now then what the hell is this saggy korova doing with this ugly hairy malchickiwick? and dressing up as your humble narrator then? Isn’t it bad enough that I have a pain in me golova thanks to the above korova’s screeching socalled muzak?!

    Oh and I bet you friends, the melted faced hairy one wants a bit of the the old in-out in the soomka later with the puffy blonde korova?

    I’d hit it for a while.

    nighty night

    your humble narrator

  28. caljenna66

    @ 27 – thank you for the painful reminder of what it was like reading that book…

    Great movie, though…

  29. Hefe

    i love how spears is starting to look hotter than her again.

    we’re coming full circle it seems.

  30. bootlips

    She so desperately wants to be a fashion trend setter. All she is a an ugly, fake boobed, chicken legged, rich jew marrying, irritating voiced, slut.

  31. mos

    I think your comments are actually all awful. She stepped away from the norm and did something that most people would consider original and she did it for herself without thinking of what would be posted on this site or any site. It’s her birthday, not yours, but let me guess, your birthday was spent writing comments about how other people’s birthday’s were lame.

    Also, I think she looks healthy, unlike Nicole and Paris. She has a baby and it actually shows. I really do think 95% of you people are just awful.

  32. When did jessica stop wearing her b-cup bra?

  33. dork

    WTF, look at that chick that dressed up like Paris Hilton… jees, it looks so real.

    BTW, Malcolm McDowell never looked so good.

  34. p0nk

    “She stepped away from the norm and did something that most people would consider original and she did it for herself without thinking of what would be posted on this site or any site. It’s her birthday, not yours,…”

    OMG mos, you’re so right. forgive me. Now that I see it, i’m in awe of her.

    /moron

  35. AJ

    Since she has an ugly implant gap for cleavage, why not walk around braless with hard too big implants wearing a white shirt.

  36. This sucks! She doesn’t even have the cod piece! And the blue eye shadow. FAIL

  37. kate

    Well, she IS ORANGE, AFTER ALL.

    HA! HA! Whut?

  38. Clockwork organized

    I like how she mixes like 3 of the droogs… Alex and Pete… and of course she IS dim. And who the fuck uses pete?? Pete is the lamest in the group. Atleast have the good sense to use georgies makeup style. As a clockwork orange fan… im very disappointed.

  39. Clockwork organized

    I like how she mixes like 3 of the droogs… Alex and Pete… and of course she IS dim. And who the fuck uses pete?? Pete is the lamest in the group. Atleast have the good sense to use georgies makeup style. As a clockwork orange fan… im very disappointed.

  40. Clockwork organized

    to 15 or 16. yes… pete has blue eye stuff (be it shadow or paint)

  41. Adolfo

    That spic bitch needs to get to a 24 HOUR FITNESS. Her ass is expanding sideways like the typical spic bitch after giving birth

  42. Ralph

    #31 How is it original if she is copying Clockwork Orange?

  43. 12=32

    Boo-hoo I’m awful…
    oh wait, i don’t care because I can fit size 0 jeans unlike “crazy” Xtina…

    @42. Totally right

  44. Sally Jones

    What is with the blue eyeshadow on one eye only? Looks like her makeup artist took one look at her, tried to help, and gave up half way through. What a douche!

  45. jens.

    Tranny clown or clown tranny…I still can’t decide.

  46. She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

  47. 1moreidiotintheworld

    A disgrace to a great movie….. she could be the milk bar and that’s about it…..

  48. Lloyd

    Does she think?

  49. maybelline

    eye make-up done up on just one eye ..looks more like a severe eye infection like she has pink eye or somethin

  50. LargelyGay

    She looks fine. You haters.
    Her man is the ugliest thing ever though.

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