Admittedly, I give Us Weekly a lot of shit, but every once in a while they come across an exclusive that knocks my socks (and pants) off. This time the crack reporters have the inside scoop on Christina Aguilera’s bra size. I tried to beat them to the punch, but Xtina’s team took evasive action – by sending Jordan Bratman out to talk to me for five hours about why Kyle Raynor is just as cool as Hal Jordan. (Note: He’s not. Please kill me.) Anyway, here’s the exclusive details on Christina’s jug straps:
In the interview, she also finally addresses the famous growth in her chest that came from breastfeeding.
“It’s kind of hilarious! I’ve never fit into an E-cup before,” she tells Us. “I look at my husband and go, ‘Guess what size this bra is?’ And when I tell him, he’s just amazed. We keep the tags that prove it, to look back for memory’s sake!”
Other things that Jordan Bratman is amazed by:
1. A real live girl actually touched his ding-dong – and he didn’t get cooties.
2. Guillermo Del Toro is directing the Hobbit ZOMG!!
3. That magic lamp he found did have a genie it. Sure, the third wish yielded him a bride, but he regrets wasting his first two wishes on a working Batmobile and a pristine copy of Action Comics #1 – which he foolishly had Dean Cain sign in a Starbucks. Smooth move, Ex Lax!
Big deal she has implants! | May 22, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Big deal she has implants!
she is weird looking | May 22, 2008 at 1:39 pm
she looks like a female impersonator with some ugly veiny implants and some really ugly legs…
she is a troll
jj | May 22, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Check out the blue vein on the right mammary. Sick.
Amanda | May 22, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Big deal. They’re huge because she’s breast feeding. They’ll shrink back down. Mine are an H-cup. They’re not shrinking anytime soon.
PunkA | May 22, 2008 at 1:40 pm
My pregnant lover is way hotter than her used up ass. She is just trashy, and her husband confirms that sentiment.
Jimbo | May 22, 2008 at 1:41 pm
@4 Really?
fygu | May 22, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Her body looks really good.
Jackson | May 22, 2008 at 1:43 pm
She basically had a pear shape body before she got the implants. Implants are wider than natural breasts; therefore bra sizes are always going to be bigger too. Her implant gap cleavage is ugly. She wears too much make up like a drag queen. She dyes her hair platinum blonde like a porn star. She has a nice voice, but I do not like her pop sounding music. Since Christina and Kim Kardaskank originally had pear shaped figures; perhaps they can share girdle and body shaper brands.
Bigheadmike | May 22, 2008 at 1:43 pm
oh yes i would oh yes i would.
Fake or not she is hot….
veggi | May 22, 2008 at 1:44 pm
why does ‘pregnant lover’ make me laugh??
Niki | May 22, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Mine went from a DD up to an F when I was breastfeeding! I’m done now and back down to a regular D. Man is it ever a lot easier to buy cute brasnow!
Rat | May 22, 2008 at 1:46 pm
So what she is a total pig! Look at those nasty legs!
Good thing she can sing (although I don’t like her music).
youpeopleareswine | May 22, 2008 at 1:46 pm
You people are swine… she is beautiful, no matter what you say… words can’t bring her down. Seriously though, she’s hot. I mean, if you don’t want to nuzzle up against those babies you’re clearly gay.
PunkA | May 22, 2008 at 1:47 pm
hey veggi,
pregnant lover sounds more naughty than pregnant wife, ya know. And we are mostly about the naughty.
Trover | May 22, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Give her ugly legs more time. Seriously, it takes most women 8-12 months to recover from the baby weight, especially it they breastfeed. that last bit of baby melt wont melt away until that part is over. So she looks good all things considered.
Clearly Gay (for #13) | May 22, 2008 at 1:51 pm
There must be something wrong with her to marry that ugly fuck. I bet her cunt smells like sour yogart. There must be something wrong. The guy even has that deformed red lip syndrome to accentuate the ugliness.
I don’t know how she kisses him.
Vince Lombardi | May 22, 2008 at 1:51 pm
So she keeps the tags for the “mammaries?”
WTF | May 22, 2008 at 1:51 pm
#13
Yeah yeah she bought her so called “hotness” and we are not impressed! You find her hot because you also find men in drag hot too!
jj | May 22, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Does anyone remember Sally Starr? Christina Aguilera’s future.
Amanda | May 22, 2008 at 1:54 pm
@4 Really?
Yep. I had D’s by the time I was 12. In High School, they stayed around DDD. I had a kid, gained some weight, and now they’ve settled around H. I kinda hate it, but my hubby likes so it… -shrug-
Megan | May 22, 2008 at 1:54 pm
15
If a female was in shape before she got pregnant and did not gain more than 25 pounds during pregnancy then she can loose the weight within 2 weeks if she is breastfeeding. I was back in shape within a week.
shes ugly | May 22, 2008 at 1:55 pm
13- you are clearly white trash scum with no education or money and a taste for crooked legged spics, if you think that rat/clown faced witch is cute. I wouldn’t want to be seen with her in public if she was not a famous person and just looked like that…
besides, I don’t think she would ever go to the beach with me if we took a vacation together.
Stuey | May 22, 2008 at 1:56 pm
HAHA Veggie, I laughed too and re-lauged when I read your response. Pregnant or not I am now referring to every woman in my life, (save family sickos) as My Pregnant Lover.
Mistress | May 22, 2008 at 1:58 pm
#5
I had an affair all through my pregnancy up to my 9th month until I left for medical. My lovers wife was pregnant too and did not desire sex, but I sure did! I felt like the sexiest pregnant women in the world! I was fit before I got pregnant and lost the weight within a week after having the baby. I breast fed which helped me get the weight off quickly! We are both still married and he moved out of state. The affair actually improved my marriage.
Kim Lard-ass-ian | May 22, 2008 at 1:58 pm
So what she has large breasts? they are fake any fuckwit with a few thousand currency can get large bags of silicone inserted in to her flesh bags. Big fucking deal, she is really quite hideous.
will | May 22, 2008 at 2:01 pm
@24-you are skanky trash. I hope you get herpes, but not your husband.
snarky | May 22, 2008 at 2:03 pm
What an idiot…yeah your enormous breasts have nothing to do with the fact that you had enormous implants before you even got pregnant, Christina? And then to top off the big fake tits, you got pregnant and had even bigger ones. How amazing, save the bra tags…wow. Does she seriously think no one remembers her itty bitty titties a few years back? They matched her itty bitty kneecaps (attached to thick, ugly bowlegged legs) she has now.
nipolian | May 22, 2008 at 2:04 pm
So is New Line Cinema going to change the name to El Hobbito?
Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | May 22, 2008 at 2:07 pm
She has enough silicon to keep Intel in business for years.
MIstress | May 22, 2008 at 2:07 pm
My husband was not shall we say sexually explorative enough for me. I am mostly into anal and thought having feces occasionally smeared onto his penis was gross. Not that I wouldn’t lick it off for him. I did that one time and tried to get him to kiss me (I was so hot!!!!) and he just freaked right out!
I loved him he just couldn’t satisfy me. Why was what I did wrong? None got any diseases that I know of.
I hate you | May 22, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Dear Superficial Writer,
Your comments on every story are becoming more and more terrible and outrageous to the point where I’m not even reading what you’re saying, I’m just hoping you put pictures of women with large breasts (which you did today, so thank you.) Please consider toning down your “cleverness”, because you’re not even being clever anymore, you’re being downright retarded and unreadable.
Ted from LA | May 22, 2008 at 2:09 pm
To all you women saying you have big tits, please send photos to TedfromLAwantsahardon@Yippee.com
Dilawar from Bangalore | May 22, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Hello american frends, I not am fan of blonde with purple lips. I am asking, why she is putting on the purple paint?
Mistress | May 22, 2008 at 2:11 pm
#30
Nice try you big fake. My husband has a low sex drive. I do not like anal but I do like to give and receive oral and have sex in all sorts of positions. I can’t help myself, I am multi-orgasmic.
jacy | May 22, 2008 at 2:12 pm
When you get married, that means you take one cock FOREVER. If you cheat simply b/c of the fact the sex isn’t up to par, then you don’t really love the guy b/c if you did, you could do without sex period and still be happy.
will | May 22, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Face it, you don’t love your husband. If all you care about is orgasms, be a fucking porno star.
veggi | May 22, 2008 at 2:15 pm
33- There you are!! However, I imagined you would love this blonde……. but I too find strangness at the purple lips.. Maybe she cold, yes??
PS: pregnant lover!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | May 22, 2008 at 2:15 pm
#35 – You’re either younger than 20 or ridiculously ugly.
coffeebean | May 22, 2008 at 2:19 pm
I don’t know what you all are bitching about. My wife quit putting out after our second child. So I just started fucking the portuguese girl that cleans our house.
HuckyDucky | May 22, 2008 at 2:19 pm
I immediately recognized those two names as Green Lanterns. I am either way too smart or a huge, huge dorkus.
HuckyDucky | May 22, 2008 at 2:19 pm
I immediately recognized those two names as Green Lanterns. I am either way too smart or a huge, huge dorkus.
Ted Mosby | May 22, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Fake as a $3 bill.
Would still motorboat.
Ashley | May 22, 2008 at 2:21 pm
#35
How about if your husband would rather jerk off to chicks on the Internet than have sex with their wife? And if the marriage is good, except for the sex and they have children, why not take on a lover? It saved my marriage!
http://www.ashleymadison.com
fygu | May 22, 2008 at 2:23 pm
YAY Jackson!
mcbeef | May 22, 2008 at 2:24 pm
@4 – 5 dolla bill says you are pushing 300lb.
veggi | May 22, 2008 at 2:27 pm
43- what the fuck?? And I was a bit sad about getting divorced… marriage… what a fucking waste of paper..
Let’s drink to that..
FRIST!!! | May 22, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Mine fluctuate between a C and a D. C for when I’m Cool, and D for when I’m DAMN Cool..
ok | May 22, 2008 at 2:30 pm
32- just look at the befores
http://www.smartplasticsurgery.com/breastreduction_ba.html
Mistress | May 22, 2008 at 2:37 pm
I am pregnant again for the 9th time and let me tell ya’ll, I am drivin’ a honda up that baby these days to get off! My ole man aint got much of a sex drive like I said, so if there are any takers here (I like ‘em young) please let me know.
PS: Monster black is cool cool cool with this hot ice cube baby!!!! :o
jacy | May 22, 2008 at 2:39 pm
@38-why? Because i have morals?? I happen to be 21, which is still very young, but the one I love hasn’t given me an orgasm from sex, only oral sex. But I will never cheat because an orgasm is just a vibration away.
@43-know what kind of person you are marrying then! If one or both people feel the need to take on a lover, get a divorce. There’s NO love there.