Christina Aguilera makes me proud

May 9th, 2006 // 101 Comments
caguilera-mv-shoot2.jpg

Christina Aguilera has admitted she doesn’t like covering up with too much clothes, telling More magazine: “I wouldn’t feel right wearing clothes that covered my whole body.”

And that, my friends, is why Christina Aguilera is considered a hero. The real way to empower women isn’t to let them vote or enter the work force, it’s to dress them like blow up sex dolls and parade around their half-naked bodies. And anybody who says otherwise is a Communist.

superficial

  1. BigJim

    Lame banana up the ass:

    Just so you know, unlike many others around here, I don’t hate you.

    I pity you.

  2. @50 – 10am? Hell, I’m already 6 deep by then.

    @51 – BigJim pities fools. Why the hell would you sell your house to Aniston?

  3. PapaHotNuts

    Unlike some problems, like necrophelia, ignoring the problem will cure the problem. Please, for the love of Christ, just ignore the banana chick. She/he is begging for people to trade barbs with her. I would love to trade Clorox for eye-shadow and have her apply it vigorously to her face, but it probably won’t happen. Please, I ask as a favor to all who post, ignore this bag of pigshit and make her go away.

  4. Iambananas

    See, now that just makes me happy that you, the peons, lower yourself in your already pathetic status’! You have no idea how great it is to have everyone commenting about me. I know you’re obsessing over me and it proves your lives are sad because I am the only thing you comment on and worry about. Yay me.

  5. Iambananas

    I really AM bananas!

  6. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I just wanted to warn everyone about her crotch froth. It’s rather frothy and not in a good-foamy-cappucino-way.

  7. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Mr. Nuts, come to Monroe sometime. I got you a present.

  8. sundaybl00dysunday

    aghh!!!!!! she is the grossest celebrity ever!!!

    she does look like a drag queen!

  9. sundaybl00dysunday

    her mouth is permanently like that… ready for the blow ;)

  10. My last comment to Iambananas. No, you aren’t bananas, you’re fucking retarded. You can’t even steal a song lyric correctly. It’s “this shit is banans.”

    http://www.letssingit.com/?/gwen-stefani-hollaback-girl-vt32djv.html

    Unless you are saying that you are, in fact, shit. Which I guess in that case, you are correct. I will stand corrected for that.

  11. Tracie

    SIXTY-FIRST!!! ALL RIGHT!
    I was also going to make a “Pulp Fiction” reference, but alas, am way too slow on the draw.
    Looks like making out with Christina would be like running your fingers through cotton-candy hair while kissing an overly greasy plate…not like I’m into that or anything…

  12. PapaHotNuts

    Osh, meet me half-way next week, I also have a gift for you. As a matter of fact, I’m holding it right now. If you guess what it is you can have it.

  13. Italian Stallion

    @61 When you pulled up in my driveway did you see a sign that said dead nigger storage?

  14. Fisher55

    didn’t all of xtina’s hair fall out? looks like a wig to me

  15. BigJim

    Just a reminder:

    TCLT <=======3

  16. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    62 – Is it a Cream-filled Toothbrush like the one that homeless guy who lives in our dumpster keeps in his coat? I sure hope so because he makes me pay to use his and I always wanted one of my own so at least I could wash it now and then.

  17. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    I’m with you, Gerald Tarrant.
    So long, lambananas, farewell, auf weiderschen, goodnight. I’m so sorry that you have no friends and have to look at being made fun of as a good thing. Have fun taking the short bus home tonight. I’ll be sending a helmet to you shortly.
    Love, Feed_me_chocolate.

  18. Mr. Fritz

    Her new look reminds me of this:

    http://snl.jt.org/char.php?i=286

  19. BigJim

    I don’t know if this is going to work, but here goes:

    Tom Cruise Loves The:

    __ __
    / *** \
    | |
    | |
    | |
    \ /
    | |
    | |
    | |
    | |
    | |
    | |
    | |
    | |
    | |
    | |
    | |
    | |
    /——- ——\
    | |
    | |
    | |
    \_______/—–\_______/

  20. BigJim

    Mother fucker. Let’s try again.

    Tom Cruise Loves The:

    ………__…__
    ……../..***..\
    …….|………|
    …….|………|
    …….|………|
    …….\………/
    ……..|…….|
    ……..|…….|
    ……..|…….|
    ……..|…….|
    ……..|…….|
    ……..|…….|
    ……..|…….|
    ……..|…….|
    ……..|…….|
    ……..|…….|
    ……..|…….|
    ……..|…….|
    /——-………——\
    |………………….|
    |………………….|
    |………………….|
    \_______/—–\_______/

  21. BigJim

    Aww, fuck. I give up.

    We all know he loves the cock. Let’s just leave it at that.

  22. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Actually, that was pretty good. I usually can’t tell what those are supposed to be, seeing as how it’s usually in Geek.

  23. gogoboots

    She’s always been slutty, hello?! Remember that video Drrty? Or however she mispelled it?

  24. Iambananas

    Obsess much (about me??!)!!!

  25. redsonja1313

    WOW….. it has been a month of Horrible Hair, maybe we missed the memo that all stylists are vacationing in May

  26. Stacyy

    *cough* can u say baad wig?

  27. TrannyGranny

    She is gonna look exactly like the guy from Twisted Sister in a few more years.

    G Tarrant: Hey man, I wanted to finally thank the person who so graciously donated that blowup doll, kept me afloat for almost 5 days before Prez Bush personally saved me from drowning, Shee-it, thanky fo’ helpin’ a nigga out, Tex. Oh, and G.T., thanks for the big screen, stereo, wedding ring (it’s on my front tooth now, mutha fucka) and all those tight lil’ poor white chicks that got lef’ behind.

  28. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    #77
    She’s already accomplished that.
    http://www.eye.net/eye/issue/issue_06.28.01/funny/twins.html

  29. Bugman4045

    #71 Tom Cruise will be attending the annual fertility festival that celebrates the cock. Check the pictures here(SFW):
    http://mdn.mainichi-msn.co.jp/photospecials/graph/060403kanamara/index.html

  30. TrannyGranny

    Feed me

    AAAHHHH my EYES! Didn’t know that existed!

  31. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Then that was a pretty good guess on your part.

  32. St.Minutia

    To: Gerald Tarrant
    RE: post #6

    What’s your turn around time?

  33. Thanks to pic two, the one in the middle. I am going to worship Christina Aguilera.

    Looks like she’s about to sneeze on the others though =)

  34. Shelley Bonnechance

    Ew, those horrible bangs. The only person who can get away with those bangs is Little Debbie (of snack cake fame) and even she doesn’t look that great in them.

    What is with all the celebrities and their bright orange tans of late? Or maybe they’re all gorging on carrots and yams? Whatever it is, it is really awful.

  35. Equalparts

    #71: L to that O to the mutha fuckin’ L

  36. ProbablyTooOld

    Chritina? Sweetie? The Bettie Page haircut only works with black hair. It also only looks good on a certain type of proto-goth, rockabilly chick. You look like ass with black hair. So don’t dye your hair black. You are also so not a gothic/rockabilly chick. You are a crappy pop singer. So change your hairstyle. Now. Please.

  37. #86 – you said it. that look works for %1 of people and she’s not it…

  38. tsarinaamanda

    Oh Xtina, you are so original and unique. It’s not like every single blonde pop singer/starlet/shit actress on earth has done the “Marilyn Monroe” wannabe look to death. You’re joining the ranks of Marilyn wannabes like Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, Anna Nicole Smith, and a million others. It was cute on the first 300 people who did it, now it’s just getting tired. Please find your own niche instead of ripping off a dead icon.

  39. Fa Cube Itches

    Enh, she looks like a fucked-up Olive Oyl. The ’40s look she had going a while back was much better.

    The exchanges with her sylist have to be pretty fun, though:

    “I want something that says skank.”

    *shows outfit*

    “No, that says whore. I want skank.”

    *shows another outfit*

    “Skank, damnit, not slut.”

    *shows another outfit*

    “Closer, but skank, S-K-A-N-K, not dishrag.”

    *shows another outfit*

    “Skanky, but too Tom Cruise-ish.”

  40. Jacq

    #77 – (Chi Iron + Dee Snider = Christina Aguilera) + Ugly, Loyal Jewish husband = Rich Forever Fuckers!

  41. Smelly Han

    I swear she gets even more repulsive everytime I look at her.
    And I don’t like her fringe.

  42. christee

    #’s 21, 86, i thought the same thing. a male, blonde, bettie page impersonator. gross.

    #54, peons? and who are you again? paris-fucking-hilton? then again, she/you would know a thing or two about pee-ons.

    # 60, i corrected Iamretarded about that earlier in another thread. guess it didn’t get the memo.

    osh, does the cream-filled toothbrush guy hang out behind the kard station? i might have seen him… hehe

  43. Christee, I’ve corrected the chimp before too, I was just praying that it will eventually take. I guess Koko isn’t that bright afterall.

  44. becca11

    she just wants attention. i hate girls that try to pretend like being a slut is empowering. Yes men talk about all the ladies they can get and that is cool, women should not brag about how much sex they have though… because it is not hard for any woman to have sex really if she wants to have sex one night, she can. Some sluts are so stupid they think that if a guy lets her give him head she is pretty. christina is a bow legged rat face with no shoulders. if shes going to stress like a clownish hooker again i hope she covers her ugly calves with some knee-high boots,

  45. violet7

    first of all christina doesnt look at all like marilyn monroe, for one shes way to skinny and she doesnt look at all like the girl next door like MM she doesnt have the bone structure and she dresses like a cheap hooker and wears way to much makeup I guess she think she now looks like the blonde betty page, I dont think so she just looks like a little girl playing dress up or something but I will give her one thing she can sing like its nobodys business she just needs to create her own style christina is pretty she needs to get her own look and stop copying everybody elses

  46. violet7

    #94 lol amen sista although I must say I think christina is pretty I beg to differ

  47. bakismaki

    Nice butt. But what the hell happened to her face. She’s destroyed it with all that industrial makeup she wears.

  48. Star Maker Machinery

    Didn’t she lose all of her hair from constant dyeing? I think the “Tranny Wig” look is here to stay.

  49. #95, I thought about it. Haven’t got the time or the money though. Let me know when it has been done…

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