Christina Aguilera makes a shocking announcement

November 5th, 2007 // 46 Comments

Christina Aguilera finally confirmed her pregnancy in the latest issue of Glamour. She will “enter into mommyhood” next year, according to People:

“I want to get it right,” she is quoted as saying.
Describing the reaction of the father-to-be – Aguilera’s husband, music executive Jordan Bratman, 30 – she says, “He’s thrilled! He’s just great.”
Aguilera also says she finds Bratman (who, like her, hails from New York) “so supportive and amazing through everything. He came with me on the last leg of the tour and he was my support system. … I gush. I’m a lucky girl.”

I would’ve never guessed. For a while there I could only come up with one explanation why Christina Aguilera kept getting larger and shopping at baby boutique stores. I’m embarrassed to say it, but I thought she was eating babies. Hence the extra weight. The boutique items she purchased were, of course, part of an elaborate trap to lure the little ones in. I just assumed she learned that from her husband who employed similar techniques during his time roaming the Pacific Northwest. Man, I was way off. She’s just pregnant – with that dude’s child. On second thought I like my theory better. Less gross.

Photos: Splash News

  1. veggi

    FIRST you smegma-chugging whores!

  2. freakwad


  3. Shallo Val

    I know she’s a natch blonde, but I cannot bee-leeve that she’s still dyeing her hair.

  4. veggi

    @1- gawd! You are one sick fucker. Now, go find your own name if you please.

    I’m off to lunch fuckers! I’m gonna have a 2 beer sammmich.

  5. Valerie hates talentless hacks

    Well done, veggi, well done. (claps hands and says you go boyeeeee)

  6. freakwad

    wow, second post today where i got second. i just keep visiting this page right with Fish updates. heh.


  7. Looks like a heifer

    what kind of demon spawn is she having?

  8. JM

    In the main pic, she looks like a troll doll. I just want to fluff her hair sup and see if it stands straight up. I know she’s got those big ass troll eyes too. Why the fuck else would she wear those ginormous sunglasses?

    PS – I’m no fashion expert, but when the fuck did the “phantom of the opera mask-thick”, “I put my makeup on with a trowel”, “It’s not even foundation anymore, it’s skin tone spackle” look come into style? That shit’s so thick it could stop an arrow. NYPD called to find out if they could use her face for ballistic tests. You people smell what I’m steppin in here? That bitch is ugly.

  9. raichu

    no shitttttt

  10. English groans audibly

    “You people smell what I’m steppin in here? “

  11. PunkA

    Let’s hope her kid inherits her vocal talent. Otherwise, it will be a no talent UGLY little thing. Bratman is just one fugly dude. Christina must be one insecure chick for her to land with Bratman. Seriously, my ass has a better face than he does. And unbelievably, my ass has slightly less hair.

  12. #11 – and if I stuck my finger up your ass, what would it smell like? Just trying to complete the picture…

  13. Veggi thinks she's so cool

    Each new picture has that “Veggi” claiming she’s eating a “sammich”, she found the word amusing and now we get it every time, this is so boring. Can’t she eat a decent lunch sometimes ? You know like a piece of meat with vegetables, and a yoghurt ? Boy she must be fat with all that junk food eaten in front of a computer.

  14. Italian Stallion

    I’m sure the baby will come out of her fine, but if it inherits the fathers nose, that bitch is in for a lot of hurting…………..

  15. #12 What say we cut the chit chat A-hole!!!

  16. sneelok

    Not that anyone cares, but Christina isn’t from New York. She’s from Pittsburgh. And she smells like hotdogs. True story.

  17. Nevermind

    It surprises me that this girl, who happens to be considered a big star, is totally thrilled that her boyfriend cares enough about the baby to stick around her. Is being totally indifferent the new standard ? When the guy cares a bit, you have to consider yourself “a lucky girl” ? If he doesn’t give a shit, it is just normal ? Wow.

  18. Oops – @15 I meant to type “#13″ obviously…

  19. she ugly

    17, have you seen her w/out makeup?? it explains a lot.
    and her legs are pretty much parenthesis

  20. jimmy

    I’m pretty sure she is from Pittsburgh

  21. Beth

    It’s so true, she’s completely bowlegged. I read somewhere that’s from crawling under fences as a kid. Anybody know if that’s true? She IS hispanic, I know that much.

  22. Billy Bones


  23. somegirl

    Knee fat…gross.

  24. soph

    i think this is the funniest post i’ve read on here.

  25. #18, obviously you need to get a fucking life.

  26. legs

    i think some people are just born bow-legged, but i also know that if children have a vitamin D deficiency they develope rickets and are bow-legged. i think it is a nasty deformity… i love great legs on a woman.

  27. #25, nice try, troll. Get your own name.

  28. Ript1&0

    Yeah, this is all boring me today..

    Call me when Britney licks heroin off a hooker’s asshole and then burns down her Malibu mansion, mm’kay?

  29. jules

    she looks like a witch.
    imo always has always will
    …. and her legs are f-ed up.

  30. veggi

    @28 – I can’t help you with the second part, but let me check my cellphone pics for the first part…does it have to be Britney?

  31. theShizaan

    Wow…for a minute there I thought she had announced that she would start wearing makup

  32. theShizaan

    Wow…for a minute there I thought she had announced that she would start wearing makeup

  33. Feckless

    Her husband almost got arrested for theft but they rounded up all these bears at Yellowstone and no one could pick him out of a line up. True story.

  34. Meghan

    #20 jimmy is right. People magazine is way wrong – She’s from Wexford PA. think they’d know that

    i think she’s hot though haha. her husband looks like bigfoot but.. smaller

  35. mal

    i;m so happy mr superfish got hilarious again :)

  36. JEEEEESUS, everytime is see this girl with her red nails, red lipstick or red trousers, or just all three. I have this feeling I want to PUKE!! There is now a new item which gives her faking looks again: THE SUNGLASSES!! This girl wanted to betray and FUCK the necessary men to give her career the boost she wanted and thought was needed. Just playing the whore answers everything, she though!! And now she want America to love her faking looks: NO, NO GIRL……………………………ADIOS LOSER!!

  37. it does not make any difference to announce she’s pregnant or no because everyone knows she is!

  38. Lexoka

    “I’m a lucky girl.” My God, is she blind?

  39. Axeldee


  40. Laura

    Yeah, she’s from Pittsburgh, not New York.

  41. Soy

    at least..
    she Really Can Sing.
    ..Britney has the same body with no baby on board

  42. AmeriCanadian

    The title should be “No shit, Sherlock!”

    Or perhaps “Really? We Still Don’t Give a Shit”

    I hate Xtina, always have.

  43. Riotboy

    She looks Bow-Legged.


  44. Matthew

    at lest she be a better parent than britney is…..

  45. vjghjhj

    i won’t to fuck her

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