Christina Aguilera launches stuff

December 6th, 2008 // 63 Comments

Because it’s Saturday, here’s pictures of Christina Aguilera’s giant breasts launching her new perfume “Inspire” at Macy’s in Glendale, Calif. last night. Christ, it seems like everybody has their own fragrance these days – and I want some of that action. Debuting exclusively on this site through an incredible offer, I present to you my new signature scent:

“Laid Magnet” by Superficial

A soft, delicately masculine but womanly blend of those smelly beads you put in your car’s ashtray, wine in a box, and Listerine. All passionately punctuated with a subtle hint of a Slim Jim I used to stir everything together in my shoe until I blacked out.
It will leave him/her/your cat breathless….

Order now for the low, low price of your credit card number in the comments section. Guaranteed shipping before Christmas – but not really. How’s March sound?

For this once-in-a-lifetime promotion to work, you must never do the following: 1. Check your credit statement for discrepancies. 2. Contact law enforcement. 3. Question my sudden acquisition of a solid gold speedboat driven by an albino tiger.
No refunds. I know where you live.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. bobkelso

    uhh

  2. She-Ra

    Woohoo i love this site!

  3. She-Ra

    Woohoo I love this site! & christina loves to get the puppies out!

  4. what would you do to those puppies she ra….

  5. matilda jeffries

    what people don’t realize is that “Laid Magnet” has already been made and sold to the general public under the pseudonym “Curious” by Britney Spears…..

  6. My Mom

    1234 5678 9123 4567
    Exp: 12/09

    I’ll take 3!

  7. CaptainMorgan

    Why would they bottle the stank of her snatch and sell it? Who the hell would want that?

  8. Me

    Anyone posting after Me sucks on half-breed beaner penis

  9. I don’t know what’s with Christina these days, she doesn’t look right, somehow. I don’t know what it is.

  10. She just needs to lay OFF the makeup!! She’d look about 10 years younger.

  11. Randal

    What a rainbow of color to be splashed across The FISH on a Saturday!

    The dress you’re wearing Christina is very sexy. I can already feel the warmth of summer’s breeze splashing across my face and dancing through my hair just by looking at it.

    A hit once again!

    Randal

  12. ummm...yeah

    Randal, one day I’m gonna kill you.

  13. Pathetic Worm

    Randal. Keep up the good work.

    Seriously. I’m not being sarcastic.

  14. Bob

    She is still hot, but definitely not the same as pre-baby…

    http://internetmiscellanea.blogspot.com/

  15. finally, she doesn’t have that moulin rouge look. i like her natural

  16. zuzuspetals

    Fish-
    Instead of “Laid Magnet” I propose you name your fragrance “Fat and Lonely.”
    The commercial could feature you- from the neck down only- sitting at home in front of the TV with a pizzabox in front of you. The announcer says “It will be a fat and lonely night” and then we see you spray on the fragrance and then a close up of your lips as they whisper “Fat and Lonely.”
    Just a thought….

  17. britney's weave

    wow, from far away it almost looks like she doesn’t have her makeup plastered on with a trowel. but then i clicked on the thumbnail.

  18. Jose Lothario Lopez De Santa Anna Cristobal

    I noticed that too. She didn’t use a broad paintbrush to apply her makeup this time.

  19. hotdog!

    ahahaha. how could someone named zuzuspetals say something so mean? but seriously, best movie ever.

  20. ronov

    She definitely looks different. She still can’t lose that post baby weight. When did she ever wear anyhting that didn’t show off her body?

  21. jeezey mic jeeze

    she is skinny enough she doesnt need to lose weight

  22. Kia

    I think she looks pretty good. She was too thin before. Her boobs are a little frightening, but ya know, some people are into that.

  23. womanizer

    her face looks beautiful in these pics! she’s still wearing a pound of makeup but it’s done right, not in other pictures where it literally looks like she’s wearing a mask!

  24. Pathetic Worm

    She looks like she’s just been run over by a squadron of psychedelic Jeeps.

  25. jimbob

    Silly boys, she took those lovely big implants out and either put in some much smaller ones, or is getting by with padding or pushups. She is naturally flatter than Paris H. The puppies are gone, and with them, much of the charm of this poor creature.

  26. love that movie too

    <3 zuzu's petals.

  27. Max Planck

    Is there no shame?

  28. She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

  29. Jeff W.

    Remember when she used to be hot? Another chick ruined by giving birth.

  30. LT81

    Jeff W – ruined by birth? Not so much the birth as it being Jordan Bratman’s freakish alien baby…suprised he didn’t melt her uterus with his evil man-gravy. She’s not bad, she just needs to give the old street-walker make-up the heave ho.

  31. bootlips

    Why do people give a damn what a celebrity hocks? There are so many mindless sheep in this world. Christina has an annoying voice and a face to match.

  32. Linda

    You’ll find the best selection of hot babes, sexy singles, and beautiful dating right at the exclusive interracial dating community, *************INTERRACIALLOVING.COM*************.
    Come in and stay a while. Post a message, a pic of yourself and check out the hot photo galleries. You are guaranteed to find someone you like here.

  33. Linda

    You’ll find the best selection of hot babes, sexy singles, and beautiful dating right at the exclusive interracial dating community, *************INTERRACIALLOVING.COM*************.
    Come in and stay a while. Post a message, a pic of yourself and check out the hot photo galleries. You are guaranteed to find someone you like here.

  34. Kelly

    Good lord I bet her hair feels like straw. That’s some bleached hair. Or maybe it’s a wig. Who knows.

  35. Aja

    I know @ 34 kelly, but her hair looks silky, it has to be fake like everything else on her.

  36. RaraAvis

    Nice job with the hair, Christina. I’m sure the people at Macy’s are thrilled that you went all out with that pony tail.

  37. Marta McCallum

    I would like one of your perfumes.

    Please Mail to
    Marta McCallum
    2700 F Street, NW Washington, DC 20566

    Charge perfume to:
    4506 3141 2445 1007
    exp 11/12
    Marta McCallum

  38. Balls McCoy

    Holy Shit, Barbara Eden looks fuckin’ ancient!

  39. friendlyfires

    Jeezus, you reverse engineered the AXE fragrance in their line of deodorants and colognes. Ohh, wait, you forgot the secret ingredients of cat turds and alcohol-based vomit. There, much better.

  40. bibi

    SHE LOOKS BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  41. Siehna

    I luv her hair. Shes cute in a girly way not lesbian

  42. Master of The Obvious

    She kisses stuff with those lips.

  43. I am looking forward to the items. Lets see how this celebrity fares in the fashion market.

  44. I am looking forward to the items. Lets see how this celebrity fares in the fashion market.

  45. She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

  46. HAHAHA @41

    Siehna is a lesbian

  47. 1moreidiotintheworld

    Congratulations, cunt! You just made more money in 5 minutes of stroking that bottle of skunk water for the cameras than most of us will make working our ass off for the next year or two….now us some of it for a trip to the fat farm and a cordless grinder to remove all that fucking clown shit off your eyes….

  48. It’s high time for: “GOING DOWN, houston”!!

  49. ew

    ew, big nosed tranny looking thing. why are her eyes always half closed now. stupid cholo bitch

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