Christina Aguilera is having twins

October 25th, 2007 // 100 Comments

Christina Aguilera is expecting twins, according to a reliable source for the NY Daily News. That’s interesting. I was shocked to learn that her husband Sasquatch could mate with humans, and now I find out he not only reproduces, he multiplies. Fascinating stuff. Will Christina try to raise the kids in captivity or in the wild? Somebody needs to do an Animal Planet special on these two and record it for me. I’m too busy fighting terrorism with a knife between my teeth.

NOTE: Some might say that posting pictures of celebrity breasts isn’t really fighting terrorism. Newsflash: Terrorists hate boobs. If someone you know hates female mammary glands, report them immediately to the nearest Office of Homeland Security. I’m just going to sit here now and wait for my Congressional Medal of Honor. Man, I’ve earned it.


  1. yukadoozer

    got a ways to go before the fat lady sings…

  2. I’m thinking stretch marks…

  3. Feckless

    I’m thinking belly dancer outfits with stretch marks.

  4. Ooba Gooba

    Twins, no wonder she looks so pissed all the time lately. I’d rather be dead than have kids.

  5. veggi

    It’s almost Halloween and look – at story about Pumpkin Face!

  6. whoneedsenemies


  7. Vicky

    Here’s the first 10 years of their lives:

    Twin1: “Mommy please don’t…”
    Twin2: “…dress like a whore…”
    Twin1: “…again…”
    Twin2: “…PLEASE?”

  8. Points of light

    Those a some mighty pointy looking tits! Nice!

  9. Actually, Fish is really dead on this time. Terrorists really do hate boobs. So much that they force women to wear burkas, imprison, rape or maim women for having boobs, and look down their noses haughtily at anyone who might like boobs before firing.

    Be a patriot, look at boobs, read the Fish.

    You really are a true American, Fish-man.

  10. dr phil

    I wonder if it was fertility treatments? Or more likely the effect of daily use of makeup in the quantities usually reserved for testing in lab rats.

  11. dumbbrunette080

    ew. her eyebrows are completely drawn on and her face looks like she has on funeral makeup… like she’s the one who died and had her fae painted on. except by a retarded person

  12. letsgetthisthreadgoingallnite

    Twins usually get delivered prematurely, and often there are medical complications, so they might end up with brain trauma. But they’re half hispanic, so I’m not sure you’ll notice it.

  13. Danklin24

    What the hell happened to this girl? She used to be incredibly hot. Her eyebrows are worse than Michael Stipes at the VMAs.

  14. beesknees

    She’s always looked like a clown with all that makeup. I wonder if she’ll put makeup on her kids. Even so, I bet she’ll be a much better mother than another former mousketeer who shall remain nameless..

    #4 you’ll be singing a different tune when you’re old and alone.

  15. @9 Thank you Sara, I am going to take your advise and look at boobs.

  16. PunkA

    Guess they managed to squeeze 2 Geenie’s in that there bottle, eh??

  17. Clozda Bordur

    Wow, spic twins. Twice the crime.

  18. 15piecesofflare

    So now she’s gonna have two kids that will grow up to become fucked up adults? I would not want this dumb tranny-diva as my mom. Yikes. Those kids are doomed.

  19. T-Bone


    Seriously, who cares? Then again, who would’ve guessed just a couple of years ago that Britney would be the washed up skank, and Christina would be the wholesome family woman?

  20. Taylor

    Back in the olden days Lana Turner had ‘wool’ eyebrows. Seems somethings, never go out of style.. and as for the hair on her pointed wee head ??

  21. squab

    I wonder if she’ll get all friggin swelled up and bloated like britney?
    Ps. I still hate Britney’s ears.

  22. kay

    She’s a beautiful girl although I agree that she needs to lighten up on the makeup I wish her all the best and hope she doesn’t become like BS.

  23. Riotboy

    Christina is HOT AS FUCK PREGO!

    /likes ‘em with a bun in over
    //prego sex rocks!!!
    ///3 slashes on thursday

  24. Sasha

    What girl doesn’t wear butt loads of eye shadow? no… wait I see plenty of girls when I go out apply make up like that and even girls who love doing make up… so what does it matter??

  25. Frick

    I’m not buying the twins thing. They always say that with celebrities to make it seem more exciting…”She’s gonna have twinsies!” Yeh right. Anyways, she doesn’t look big enough for twins considering how many months along she is. It will be interesting to see what the kid looks like though. I don’t know why, but my guess is it will be sporting a big old unibrow.

  26. T

    she’s ugly

  27. bob

    I so want this woman

  28. Jewel

    I was wondering why the hell everyone was freaking out about her eyebrows. But then I looked. Wow. They are horrible. I’m pretty sure she drew them with her lipliner. Same color and everything … LOL


  30. em

    #4..with ya on that one..ok well maybe not dead..but i do hate children

  31. Jen

    You know that split screen thing you do? ‘Separated at birth’? Hot body aside, Christina looks mighty like her husband. If he got a blond wig and implants they could be twins. Check it out.

  32. Ript1&0

    Having twins seems like a great idea, really. Two birds with one stone and such… Get it done at once, I say.

  33. thats why her boobs are sooo big.. she’s feeding two..

  34. scooby

    is it just me or does she look uncannily like BOY GEORGE??? *shudder* pictures 1, 4, and 5


  36. suz

    i love christina! yay to twins. that’s soo awesome congrats to her

    she’s been looking pretty lately too

  37. InstantAsshat-AddFame

    Maybe it’s just me, but why is it that famous pregnant women can’t seem to find clothes that FIT? They always wear clothes for non-pregnant women, stretched out over the bump, and it makes them look like the fucking Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. The orange skin does not help but increase this effect.

    And I have to give J-Lo credit for wearing decent maternity clothes, which kills me because I really don’t like her.

  38. Roflcer of the Lawl

    Oh boy here we go another Britney train wreck is approaching in the form of Christina.

  39. Salmonswife

    ..thighs i mean sighs
    i’d be kinda pissed with the weight gain

  40. Jerri

    Her and Brittny are about the same size now

  41. KENDRA

    These sluts dress like they are twelve
    pregnant and slutty not pretty

  42. display

    I hate the way these Prego whores dress

  43. Dove

    I love bob!

  44. She already has twins.

  45. Wanda

    at least she has an excuse her youth for dressing dumb..better
    than Ol’Halle who dressed like a BigBluePornstar

  46. Soy

    i love cream of wheat

  47. Halle

    my man is prettier than christinas

  48. #48, good god, who’s isn’t?

  49. My scrotum is prettier than christina’s man.

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