Christina Aguilera is a wonder of nature

June 16th, 2006 // 285 Comments

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I’m looking at Christina Aguilera’s legs and I’m pretty sure the way she’s standing is physically impossible. Her left knee looks inverted, which I guess happens sometimes when your weight drops below 32 lbs. She looks like she’s trying to do a cowboy impression but is dressed totally inappropriately for it. Like new age performance art or something. You know the kind. They put on panda suits and then pretend they’re milking a cow. It’s art. You wouldn’t get it.

More of Christina in a see through shirt with really perky breasts after the jump.


  1. Iambananas

    jane’s eyre..
    Duh, that’s what he was going for.

  2. Iambananas

    Why is she wearing a jacket? It’s it June?

  3. Iambananas

    Is that her husband? He’s ugly.

  4. bigponie

    Gidget Gossip – girl reporter

    Just the person I was looking for, I need someone to do a report on my massive 20″ ponie cock and ten pound balls. If you do a good job I might even let you ride me.

    so come on down to the sunny west-side, if you wanna ride, ride the wild ponie…

  5. barryjc

    jacq you are an idiot.

    saying ‘first’ is lame. get a life

  6. ora

    Well that car is new Rolls-Royce which is one giant car, high as truck but nice inside, too good for such a skank……..

  7. WD-40

    the guy she’s with left his car doors open.

  8. in Baggy it would not have this kind of problem, because here that does not give desire…!

  9. Yoda a Green Schlong Has


    In intelligible English, speak I do not. Speak in a stream of non-sequitur babble, I do.

  10. Sarcastikus

    This is the best I’ve seen her look in a long time, I hope she’s leaving the “Midget Marilyn Monroe” look far, far behind.

    And that last photo is a little strange. The hair, bag, and shoes look the same as in the previous photos, but the sweater looks different and I don’t think she’s that small.

  11. Yoda a Green Schlong Has

    Aguilera is 5’2″, and she’s wearing about 4″ heels. So, the car is about 5’8″, and her husband is probably 5’10″.

    Midget myth busted.

  12. Iambananas

    She’s still a freak.

  13. jane's eyre

    Yoda, you forget the “Mmm?” My favorite part.

    For more unintelligle English, visit

  14. ptprez


    suck my cock…

  15. Yoda a Green Schlong Has

    In the first photo, I don’t think she’s bow legged, as her legs look normal in all the other photos. Skinny, but normal.

    She might just have very flexible knee joints that can bend a few degrees beyond vertical when locked. Mine can.

    Oh, and tap that, I would, clown makeup and all ;^)

  16. ptprez


    …It’s it june”

    wtf does that mean???


  17. Yoda a Green Schlong Has

    112. Consumed by the dark side of sexuality you have become, and gay you are.

    113. Mmmmmmm.

  18. Star Maker Machinery

    Alas, I remember when Christina looked like a normal, pretty girl at 18. Now she’s the postergirl for how Hollyweird distorts people’s self-image to the point of looking cartoonish. Give her a few years and she’ll make Wacko Jacko look like Andy Rooney.

  19. Star Maker Machinery

    She also looks like she’s turning tricks in that last photo. Five bucks for a tittay fuck!

  20. BarbadoSlim

    @111 Up Aguilera’s ass you are Mmmm…tasty her shit is Mmmmm…defending this midget skank you are Mmmmmm.


    I want christina to make me clean her kitchen floor with just a toothbrush and some ajax while i’m naked and wearing a ballgag. she then asks “what are those little drops you’re leaving on my floor piglet”? and then she makes me do it again. oh’ i’d love to see her in bare feet standing on her tiptoes. thank you and goodnight

  22. JayyMan

    I’d still want her

  23. Yoda a Green Schlong Has

    121. I don’t listen to her music, she wears too much makeup, and her hair usually looks retardd, but she has a tight bod, looks like she might be a bit of a freak, and hasn’t dated any Hilton / Hohan rejects.

    So yeah, I’d hit it.

    Oh, and lick my balls and like it, you do. Mmmmmm.

  24. Yoda a Green Schlong Has


  25. CruisingForCock

    @123 I heard she wants you too.

  26. BigJim

    Hey, Edna:

    Jesus saves, but Gretzky scores on the rebound!

    (Note to non-Canadians: I would have used the name of a current Edmonton Oiler, but I’m not sure any of you would recognize one.)

  27. CruisingForCock

    @127 Cheering for Italy or USA tomorrow? If you say USA, no blow job for you.

  28. BarbadoSlim



  29. CruisingForCock

    129 Why did you just giggle like a catholic school girl?

  30. Yoda a Green Schlong Has

    128. It really doesn’t matter, because Ronaldinho is a god.

    In an alternate universe, if USA wins both remaining group matches, they may advance in the E2 spot, and immediately lose to F1 Brazil.

    If Italy wins, they will probably lose to the Czechs, advance as E2, and immediately lose to F1 Brazil.

  31. herbiefrog

    …and in other news :))

    i just love paris and lindsay :)

    …a “dance off” lol

    keep the faith bitches :)

    It was like Paris was saying through her looks, ‘You stole my man!’ and Lindsay’s looks were like, ‘What are you going to do about it?’”

    The impromptu contest began early Wednesday morning, when both celebrities began dancing in the club’s VIP section and continued for hours, with both women reportedly waiting for the other to stop first

  32. krisdylee

    BigJim, Oilers? Really? Even tho’….??? RIGHT ON!!! Keep it in Canada…


    and I hate lambananas.

  33. CruisingForCock

    131 WOW. You spoke, and not backwards!

    133 You’re a dirty whore and I love you.

  34. Roderick

    Holy crap, she’s so perfectly miniaturized, she makes that Phantom looks gigantic.

  35. 134. If most fortunate, they are, face Brazil Italy will. And by face, mean suffer humiliating loss, I do. Mmmmmm.


  36. Angel_Baby

    LOVE HER! She has an amazing voice.
    I do think she is a little “off” though…but aren’t they all?!?!?

  37. herbiefrog

    …and when you say
    …”know what i mean”

    we meant
    get those panties off now girl
    were coming in :))

  38. herbiefrog

    22nd october
    f1 brazil
    no idea why
    boys kick balls around
    or why people watch :)

    keeps them occupied :)

  39. Toonlite

    Looks like her legs will snap off with each step….held together with crazy glue…only her stylist would know!!!


    who’s the monkey beside Christine?

  40. krisdylee

    Whatever happened to Barbara Mandrell and the Mandrell Sisters?

    Seriously, it’s been bugging me all fucking day. Well, only for the last 3 minutes, since I smoked that fattie.

    Remember their show? Oh, fuck, good times.

  41. More like a freak of nature.

  42. SoupaSarah

    does she have rickets?

  43. TheTrueBuzz

    she’s so hot !!

  44. Fawlty

    Well, I already pointed out in the SF’s last Christina “news” that she is very bowlegged… nice to see some visual corroboration.

    But, that first picture makes it exaggerated, since she is actually walking there, and because of the angle of the camera.

    She’s hot though.. love those fake boobs.

  45. IGotAnFCandK

    I’d hit it. I’m sure my bf wouldn’t mind as long as he could watch.

    She is gorgeous (bow legged or not)!

    I find that her being short makes her even more attractive.

  46. dominocat

    #143 – that’s exactly what I was thinking!

    Someone get Aguilera some vitamin D, STAT!

  47. IGotAnFCandK

    Oh and did anyone else notice she seems to be in the process of dropping some sort of phone/camera/pda looking dealio in the set of pictures with Hubby.

  48. MsElly65

    Kris i watched them too (the mandrells) n donny n marie. i have to smoke a lot to ferget that but if they ran repeats i would be there. YOU ROCK

  49. MsElly65

    oh my god, this poor girl looks like she is havin trouble walkin n breathin thanks to the 10 inch heels n the 10 pound implants. christina, WHY?? you were the teen angel who could actually sing. we loved you the other way gurrl. sad.

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