Christina Aguilera is a wonder of nature

June 16th, 2006 // 285 Comments

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I’m looking at Christina Aguilera’s legs and I’m pretty sure the way she’s standing is physically impossible. Her left knee looks inverted, which I guess happens sometimes when your weight drops below 32 lbs. She looks like she’s trying to do a cowboy impression but is dressed totally inappropriately for it. Like new age performance art or something. You know the kind. They put on panda suits and then pretend they’re milking a cow. It’s art. You wouldn’t get it.

More of Christina in a see through shirt with really perky breasts after the jump.


  1. zuigdrmrop


  2. zuigdrmrop

    ANd that was my first comment on this site. Now for the story, eeh hmmm, let’s read it first, shall we?

  3. zuigdrmrop

    Omg, she is tiny!! Or is that car just huge?

  4. lovesIT

    i love christina. shame on her for having such an ugly husband. and yes, she is that tiny.

  5. Pearly

    She’s a bow legged slut! hahahahahahha! What a great pic. And in the second to last pic HE looks like he’s either caught a whiff of Xtina or Paris perfume launch.

  6. Jacq

    #3 – I just noticed that. She’s that short with hooker heels on?! I bet she’d scare an elephant.

    From the looks of those legs, Jordan’s been hitting it. A lot.

  7. The RZA

    Of course her breasts are perky. They’re fake.

  8. jems

    Hi um, zuigdrmrop? Welcome to the site. Yea, so we don’t do “first” here.

  9. BigJim

    She’s probably just been doing a lot of horseback riding lately. Either that or she’s been fucking a bunch of sumo wrestlers.

  10. tits_on_snack

    She’s looking a little knock-kneed but meh.

  11. used to be so hot, and now?

  12. tits_on_snack

    Actually not knock-kneed, i meant the opposite. Bow legged.

  13. redsonja1313

    WOW she looks great even with the bow leg

  14. jFp

    yep, when I ride ‘em hard….they walk that way for a while.

  15. Jedi Kevin

    OK, who washed Christina in hot water?

  16. Jacq

    #8 – I generally also pick on the new people, but for more legitimate reasons. We DO do first here. There is one at the beginning of almost every thread. Be nice, it’s Friday.

  17. radio3play

    #4 yeah he’s ugly, BUT he doesn’t live off of her.

  18. rori

    Scientifically, I think her legs should be breaking. I almost don’t believe it’s a real picture, but who would take the time to photoshop her into some strange L.A. cowboy walk syndrome?
    Arguably, I did just take the time to post this, so probably someone out there might.

  19. limper

    I was hoping that thing with her leg might be an optical illusion, but I don’t think that’s the case. I think the only logical conclusion is she is a Gumby.

    Check out the putz she’s with. I guess she wanted a boyfriend who hasn’t hooked up with either Paris or Lindsay yet, and ended up having to really scrape the barrel. Beats getting the herp.

  20. jane's eyre

    I’m having a hard time also believing that her legs could look like that. There is no angle of perspective that you could be lookig at that and have that be normal.

    Oh, and nice to see her wearing her WHITE hooker platforms with jeans. So stylish, Xtina. I bet she makes up half of Kiwi’s Shoe White earnings with those suckers.

  21. jane's eyre

    That’s her husband. Yeah.

  22. Chicagoboy

    I walk that way when my underwear starts riding up into the unknown. . . Maybe Xtina forgot to take out her anal beads before heading to the airport?

  23. jane's eyre

    That last photo looks like it was taken from an undercover agent following up on a child prostitution lead.

  24. bigponie

    only one other species with inverted knees come to mind and they’re usually associated with the word “pink …”, hence she belongs with that same species.

  25. pagebetty

    ————It’s weird. In the other pics her legs don’t look all curved like in the first pic. So I guess she has some kind of powerful ability to cuve and uncurve her legs.
    ———Whatever. I love this new retro look of hers! She’s got the Jean Harlow/ Marilyn Monroe thing going on! I love her hair and her shoes! Go Christina!

  26. Ezekiel Rage

    The last picture is obviously not Christina. It looks like a child. The jacket is clearly different and the pants are rolled up and the shoes look about 6 sizes too big.

  27. Edna Bambrick

    Jesus Saves. I will pray for all in His name.

  28. yuckyfresh

    there is no way she weighs less than 32 lbs. her breasts alone have got to weigh more than that.

  29. yuckyfresh

    besides, she looks great. waaaay better than 2 yrs ago. yuck.

  30. Pete

    She is walking, but taking baby steps and with her legs spread. This walk happens on days when you forget to wear a belt or, in Christina’s case, finally get your weight down to absolute zero, allowing you to travel through time and slit Marilyn Monroe’s throat.

  31. justme

    She’s obviously bowlegged….

  32. BarbadoSlim

    Is she climbing into a giant cartoon car?

    Let’s take that second picture and dramatize it ,shall we?

    *in a stereotypical new york jewish voice*

    Is it cold or what? Oh, oh, my sinuses are acting up again, Christina, Christina what’s that smell? How much did you tip that guy, THAT MUCH?!?!?, what are we made of money?, you gotta lowball these things!!!

  33. Geno

    Edna you have been reported.

  34. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    You know your packing a Circus Penis when your wife walks like her knees are broken and she’s about to drop a 10 lb. placenta.

  35. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    before the grammar police arrest me and throw me in grammar jail with some cracked-out grammar abusers.

  36. Prinky

    Her husband looks like Mr. Peepers from SNL.

  37. She had her legs surgically bowed to accomodate the large, NBA-sized Black lovers she intends to cheat with on her tiny, Jew husband.

  38. Kim

    Girl needs a new pair of shoes! in the 3rd pic, her toe is hanging over the edge about an inch. I guess when you pay $1000 for shoes, it’s hard to let go….let go xtina. I think you can afford a new pair.

  39. guest1234567

    What’s with the last picture? Different jeans, wearing a skirt(?) under a different sweater. Fatter ass? Were these pix from the same camera?

  40. rori

    Edna’s back! Fuck yeah!

  41. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I missed you Edna, and the sweet smelling douche you wear. You wore it just for me, didn’t you? Next time wear those clown stripper shoes, too. You know, like the ones Christina has on.

  42. HollyJ

    Are those legs…or parentheses? She frightens me <=0
    /00 \
    l i l
    v <–(look Edna, it’s her stickwoman hairpie ghole)
    ( )
    l l
    ` `

  43. Jacq

    #35 – I am the Grammar Police. Im going to arrest you and trust me youll be soory.

  44. mrs.t

    Could the person in the last pic be her stunt double? Her dwarf-world stunt double?

  45. mrs.t

    At least with those enormous ears, she can guide him with total accuracy whilst he partakes of the fish taco.

  46. BarbadoSlim

    @45 hehehehe …fish taco.


  47. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    43 – Well I be the spelling police if’n you don’t not quit that no good spelling I’m fixing to be putting you in that there spelling prison we be having over in that there we do be I you no bad spelling yes ma’am bitch.

  48. herbiefrog

    #34 your = correct
    #35 you’re = lol babe :)

    stop trying to fuck with me :))


    i’ll get to xtina in a mo :)

  49. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    herbiefrog, usually I just ignore you – but, look:
    You know your packing <—wrong
    You know you’re (you are [contraction = you're]) packing <—- correct

    Please herbiefrog, nobody likes you, we all just find you weird. Your bohemian antics may seem cool to some people at your Junior High poetry club but you might as well be typing in Croatian. And it’s repetative as fuck. Just had to get that off my chest.
    suck a fat
    Puerto Rican
    you cocksucker
    lol bitch :)))

  50. jane's eyre

    It’s “repeTITive, osh. I thought you of all people would know all the words in the English language with the word “tit” in it. Geez, way to slack.

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