Christina Aguilera is a liar

September 21st, 2005 // 33 Comments

Christina_Opportunist.jpgAn obviously bitter and terrible-at-hiding-it Christina Aguilera is altogether far too “excited” about Britney’s birth:

“My assistant came in the room when it happened and she’s like, ‘Britney had a boy!’ and I was like, ‘Oh my gosh!’ I don’t know where I was for a while when she was pregnant but it really kicked in at that point. It’s like, ‘Wow, she had a baby! That’s crazy!’ I’m overjoyed and thrilled for her. It’s such an exciting time in her life and I just wish her the best.”

Um, okay there, Fakey McTool. Nobody’s that happy about Britney’s birth, not even Britney. After all, she brought a perfume into this world the day after birthing her son, and every good parent knows that you only have enough room in your heart to pick one of your children and love that one for the rest of your life. And let’s face it, she’s going to pick the one without Federline genes in it. Unless there’s some secret ingredient in Britney’s Fantasy that I should know about… and… kill myself over.

Huh. Who knew that Christina Aguilera would end up being the second grossest part of this article? Not I. Not I.


  1. Bookboi

    I can imagine X-tina being excited about a baby, but only for a few weeks. After that, she would probably just throw it in a trash can somewhere.

  2. Occifer

    No shit? Christina lying? Can’t you tell she’s truly, most honestly ecstatic? With Britney finally out of the picture, she’ll no longer be a our sloppy seconds.

  3. Tommy Cruise

    I was so excited when I heard about Britney’s giving birth, I started popping champagne bottles! And then the grocery store security had to drag me away. So what’s the big deal? How could anything Christina does or says be fake? She’s the most honest person I’ve ever done it with. Just don’t ask her, because she’ll deny it.

  4. Ms. Dilligaff

    She really is that happy, and can pretend it’s *for* Britney. But we all know Xtina’s true happiness extends from her enjoyment of the fact that Britney is washed up and not even “sexy white trash” anymore, just plain ol’ white trash like the rest of us. Xtina isn’t the one with KFed’s demonchild(yet)so she can be the bigger person, so to speak, by wishing Britney well…then sit back with her trucker hat and Cheetos; waiting for more of the train wreck.

  5. bone_daddio

    you know..i saw Christina’s mouth moving but there was no sound coming out…all i could see was her head bobbing in my lap. wow. getting hot in here..these pants gotta come off….whoops, didn’t mean to type that..know where is that delete key…..

  6. Gerry

    Tommy, copying the style of the Superficial’s author on his site probably won’t get you too many laughs. Either develop your own style or save it for the members of other sites who don’t have the real thing.

  7. mutterhals

    Gerry, copying the style of an uptight ass ache probably won’t get you too many laughs. Either develop a pleasing and funny personality or save your claptrap for the mentally ill.

  8. andrewthezeppo

    I just hope that some time soon Britney will pretend to go into retirement for a few months so I stop having to see her every time I buy groceries

  9. Penis McVagina


  10. BEAM

    LOL @ mutterhals.

  11. I don’t think there is anything funny about Christina Aguilera or Britney Spears. In fact, I don’t find anything on this site funny. I don’t even know why I read it, or bother to post my stupid comments. Nobody has even said “thank you” to me for all my contributions. I get the feeling I’m not wanted here, so maybe I’ll just leave.

  12. bone_daddio

    To Gerry: Thanks for leaving. You suck a$$.

    The Superficial Bunch

  13. Juliette

    Ms. Dilligaff, I agree with you. Where were all of these wonderful comments about Britney when Britney was on top of the world, and lets face it, much hotter than “X-Tina”? She despised Britney during those days. Now that Britney is trailaer Trash it is much easier for Christina to say something nice. Of course, nice in a mocking-I-know-this-day-would-come sort of way.

  14. Are you kidding? CA is probably blessing the day that Twitney ever got it on with that loser because Twitney will never be thin again! Not that she ever was, but Twitney is such a grease hound that she’ss never lose all the weight. Unless, of course, she resorts to drugs, thus providing The Superficial with even more delicious gossip. Yeah, I’d say Christine is VERY happy :)

  15. MrPloppy

    OK I would have believed it except for the line

  16. Gerry

    LOL, Tommy your a loser with too much time on your hands.

    For anybody who really cares, that was Tommy posting under my name up there. This place lets you post under any name you want.

    The reason he did it… he didn’t like what I had to say I guess.

  17. Tommy Cruise

    It wasn’t me, Gerry. Apparently there are others who don’t like your worthless comments. Oh, and as for being a loser… well, at least I know the difference between “your” and “you’re”.

    Too bad. We were really hoping you had left!!

  18. Christina’s so fake there, hahaha. I don’t think anyone is excited for Britney at all. I don’t even believe that she made a baby with Kevin Federline because he’s just disgusting.

  19. stinkypinky

    Gerry- nobody cares and this is the wrong site to be looking for sympathy. You started that whole argument and then stupidly pointed your finger at the wrong person. You got exactly what you deserved.

  20. izzy

    haha, comment fights are so funny to read.

    christina just shouldn’t have said anything. because, seriously, i don’t believe her assistant busted in like “OMG!!!! BRITNEY HAD HER BABY!!! IM SO HAPPY!!!” its not like anyone expects this poor child to bring britney happiness. everyone’s just excited to see how fucked up the the kid will turn out.

  21. heartstring

    Christina Augilera is hideous. She looks like a transvestite.

    comments have only been enabled for like 2 days and already we have comment wars! yesssss.

  22. CastIronBitch

    Alright. Just to thorw this into sharp contrast, I was watching E!’s starlicious makeovers. (I know, I know, but what else are you going to do while churning out hundreds of crunches??)

    Anyway, so Britney was up there #4, 5 or 6 or something like that. And everyone kept talking about how great and beautiful and genius she is. And I’m thinking, how fucking old is this show!?!? Stick with the multiple Cher make-overs people, Britney managed to go from golden girl to golden shower in the spave of about…5 minutes.

    (And by 5 minutes I’m talking about the “event” that got her pregnant, it was downhill before that, but that little “bump” sent her sex appeal off a cliff.

  23. I love Christina to death, but really, I can’t think of a more bullshit thing to say. Why does she feel the need to kiss ass now after being a bitch about Britney so many times before?

  24. ensiform

    Fakey McTool. hee hee.

  25. Gerry

    ^ indeed

  26. Gerry

    PS. He is stinkypinky too

  27. AmberDextrose

    More bitch fights, MORE!

    I wanna see post-baby Britters in a mud bath wrestlin’ it out with Christykins. B can smack X with her mummy-tummy and massive milky bazoogas whilst Tommy and Gerry do a support act cat fight outside for those who don’t make it into the main tent.

  28. AmberDextrose

    Ha ha, Tom and Gerry. I only just noticed.

  29. Juliette

    Where can I get tickets?

    “And I’m thinking, how fucking old is this show!?!?”

    hahahhahaa…I’d say she started her plummet about 2-3 years ago. She was really only hot when she was 17-19. Then it all went down hill…

  30. Gerry

    LOL, nice spotting AmberDextrose.

    Side note: Gerry always won. =D

  31. Dawn7

    They both make me want to slit my wrists.

  32. Roxy

    I’ve never been a fan of the lip-syncing stripper and i will admit that x-tina has an amazing voice but i honestly think that she is happy for britney. I mean come on…. who could possibly lose sales to some ol’ chunky housewife thats got a giant vagina, talks like a 12 years old and walks in public bathrooms barefooted? I mean… x-tina has it made and knows it! lol… and Sluttney names her kid preston?! good god!like its not bad enough having a dad that thinks hes black when hes trailor trash and a mom thats a talentless stripper…. you give him a name that will for sure get him beat up everyday… come on now…. everyone knows apple or coco or some looney name is better then that!

  33. Not that I ever had, but Twitney is so fat that she'ss hound never lose weight. Unless, of course,

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