Christina Aguilera is a chameleon

March 23rd, 2007 // 145 Comments
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I’m starting to think that Christina Aguilera is color blind. That’s the only explanation for why she’s always three shades more orange than every other person on the planet. It’s like self tanner and orange highlighter are the same shade of gray to her so she just goes with the orange highlighter because it’s always on sale. It’s weird, because she showed up to the Nylon celebration looking fairly decent, and then just a day later she was spotted leaving her hotel in NYC looking like this. This is exactly what a pod person pretending to be Christina Aguilera would look like. Only they’d probably do a better job of match the skin tone of humans.

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superficial

  1. jrzmommy

    Catholic isn’t across from trinity. You’re either lying that you go to Trinity or you’re not really DanYELL. You can’t even tell me what street Trinity is on. And everyone EVERYONE who lives anywhere in NE knows the apt. across from there. FRAUD!

  2. Geicocaveman

    #49 Wrong on both counts, you fucking labiaflapping diseased twathole.

  3. Craig & "em"

    And with all THAT said…

    I’d Still Hit It Porno Style!

  4. jrzmommy♠

    Hey, DanYELL–LOOK!! Now I’m a spade, too, just like you!!

    50– You use a lot of really big smart people words. Are you really really smart?

  5. Geicocaveman

    #50 apolloblu, there are people here who are at least funny, but this nasty little shitflinger danielle needs to fucked up the ass and have the cage door welded shut.

  6. biatcho

    #50, go watch MSNBC for your anus updates, we’re a little over that up in this piece.

    manielle, I think you & i have been going at it since the Spring of last year to be honest with you. It’s almost our anniversary! I feel sad now.

  7. danielle

    @51

    Jrz, that was NOT me. God! And 46 and 50 can fucking shove it! I’m making such a big fucking deal because I cannot successfully argue with Jrz and others because of this troll infestation. So post your lame ass comment on Xtina and go about your business. Assholes.

    Back to 51-

    Well duh, ya idiot. The apartment complexes are across from Trinity, and up the street is Children’s Hospital and VA Medical Center and Washington Hospital Center. Trinity is exactly in 15 minutes walking distance of Brookland Station. Catholic is down the block beside the old Pizza Hut that they turned into a Day Care Center. Bennet Cosmetology School is a few blocks down.

    Trinity is on 12th street! And, I actually don’t know the name of those apartments. Oddly enough. Hmmmm.

    I LOVE you biatcho!!! But, that wasn;t my post. I think we started late may, not June. Who knows.

  8. jrzmommy♠

    Trinity is not on 12th Street. and anyone could google a map of Trinity and know that the hospitals are right up the street.

    You’re right about the Pizza Hut conversion, however. But the 12th Street thing fucked ya. YOU ARE A FRAUD!!!

  9. Geicocaveman

    #57 Maybe if you weren’t such a cunt you wouldn’t have trolls. And crabs. And fuck knows what else. I’m not looking, the stank is bad enough.

  10. danielle

    It IS on 12th st ya dumbass! 3908 12th street. I just ordered my fucking official transcript and I have it right in front of me ya bum. 3-9-0-8 12th street. Gosh Jizz, what else do ya need to know? (crying)

    @59.

    I bet your a troll, aren’t cha? It’s written all over ya crappy little post.

  11. johnnycake

    this bitch’s face made me so nostalgic for some good, old-fashioned ‘mac n cheese’ that I went downstairs this morning and made some for breakfast.

    and that’s not a joke…

  12. jrzmommy♠

    3908 12th Street is NOT Trinity. In fact, 3908 12th Street is Ellis Island pub, DUMBASS! Don’t forget..I used to live in that neighborhood….for 8 years. I know it very very well. You’re full of shit.

  13. jrzmommy♠

    Anyone can google 3908 12th Street NE in DC if they’d like, or the reverse, Ellis Island Pub–BUSTED. Can you say Busted?

  14. jrzmommy♠

    So are you the Troll or are you DanYELL who doesn’t really go to Trinity?

  15. danielle

    57 & 60….you are REALLY starting to creep me out. Seriously. Do you live by me? Stalker.

    God, I go to class and come back to this mayhem.

    Jrz, Trinity is on 125 Michigan ave. I don’t even know where 12th street is.

    Seriously, this troll is starting to freak me out.

  16. jrzmommy♠

    nice back peddlin’ with the google. You’re from NE and you don’t know where 12th Street is? Fuck off.

  17. redharing

    I’m in NE, should I fuck off too?

  18. 23apples

    Apparantly shes also just plain blind, because shes holding hands with a really unattractive man. If this is what you look like after a spray tan, I’m definately never getting one.

  19. danielle

    Ok. This has seriously gotten out of hand. @66, honest to God I just got out of my 9:30 class. All of those posts did NOT come from me. The last thing I posted was under the Queen Latifah story at 3 this morning. All this other shit, not me.

    I think I would know where 12th street was and duh…the Cloisters is the apartment complex, I think. There’s always a tree blocking the sign. But, whatever. I think I’ve created a troll of all trolls on here. Scary.

  20. greeneyed_girl

    #34 Dr. Whomever- Just a little tip for you. I mean, I know you say you’re a doctor and all but sometimes girls like their hair pulled a little during that act of ummm…. fellatio..maybe if you tried that Xtina would really dig you.

    Hey danielle, What up sista?

  21. TrimSpaBaby

    #69 You are also officially full of shit. You also pull this troll crap all the damn time when you get caught being stupid in earlier posts! No one believes you anymore so please just STFU. Sincerely.

  22. jrzmommy♠

    Yes, Wal….I mean “red haring” you should fuck off too.

  23. danielle

    @71.

    How about you shutting the fuck up ya dirty cuntbag whore?

    To be so lame as to post 14,ooo comment under my name, actually having a conversation with myself and doing it all while I’m going over my calculus 101 quiz is a challenge in itself.

    So do me a favor and…mind your own fucking business.

    Wait, you must be the troll. I’ve never seen a TrimSpaBaby post on here before. But then again, you’re a loser.

    Get bent.

  24. DrPhowstus

    Wow, this is more fun than watching rednecks die from flying tires at a NASCAR event during a 12 car pile up! Jeff Gordon would be proud.

    @54 — Fuck you for making me nearly choke on my coffee with the “now I’m a spade too” comment. I had to convince the pretty lady that sits next to me that CPR works better when you use tongue. Works every time.

  25. NotTheMomma

    well, she’s on record as stating she hasn’t found her “real” self racially.
    what you see here is one of the days she feels “mexicany”. other days, she feels “whitey”. so she puts lots of powder on her skin.

  26. TrimSpaBaby

    #73 You festering jizzbag, you’re too busy talking to your twat, the crack in the wall and the remains of last week’s moldy cheese sandwich to be aware of anything. – I’ve been posting for awhile which is more than I can say for you, if you can call those used tampons you throw around here posts. Same old shit, same old shitbag ho. Everyone’s the troll, yeah, right. Get bent yourself, bend over and shove your jugeared head up your well-reamed ass – feels like home, right? Stay in a while why dontcha.

  27. jrzmommy♠

    74–you’re welcome. Now she can’t call be honky Casper whitey almighty no more!

  28. jrzmommy♠

    By the way, what’s that you’re holding there DanYELL??? OH! It’s your ass….I just handed it to you.

    …..goes to Trinity……yeah right *rolls eyes*

  29. Elementarypenguinsingingharikrishna

    you can tell from the writing that’s not danielle, jrz you lack rich’s eye for trolls.

  30. pookiedoo

    I went to a drag show last night, and their “Christina Aguilera” was far hotter than the real C.A. Pretty sad.

  31. mmmcheese

    she has the ugliest shoes I have ever seen… they look like stiletto duckies.

  32. TrimSpaBaby

    #81 I know she didn’t choose her husband for his looks – but since those shoes don’t have a 12″ dick I think she just has bad taste all around.

  33. Pelted

    Don’t ya’ll rag on Aggie — she has the greatest voice of any Cabbage-Patch doll on earth! (Did you know she has her hands stuck in her pockets b/c she’s embarrassed about the fact that she only has 4 stitched-together fingers?)

  34. Morticia

    Danielle every here obviously hates you, so why don’t you just STFU already? Have a little dignity for crissakes.

  35. HollyJ

    Wow. Only about 30 of the first 81 posts were about Christina’s citrus appeal. The other 50+ are all about/from/to Danielle.

    You guys are giving her credit by turning 60% of every thread into stuff about her. Why not ignore?

    Just a thought.

  36. HelloMcFly

    I wonder if she cakes on all that makeup to cover up bruises…? I’ve never heard that he slaps her around or anything so this is just speculation based on her physical appearance.

    She overdoes the makeup and it hides EVERYTHING and then she overdoes the hanging on him, too. Just wondering…

  37. johnnycake

    ANS update: she’s still dead.

    Check out ET for more round-the-clock coverage.

  38. Pelted

    Christina Aguilera is an excellent source of Vitamin C.

  39. Pelted

    Look on the bright side, everyone: because Christina Aguilera looks like this, we’ll never have to worry about her trying to become an actress.

  40. Pelted

    Here’s what it says when I try to post a comment:

    “Comments will be moderated and obnoxious or promotional comments may be removed.”

    Hey, Superficial Guy — GET ON THE EFFING STICK! About half the comments on this thread should be gone. I count at least one promotional comment, and a bazillion catty in-fighting comments that would bore the flies off a shit-farm.

    Are you going to get rid of these comments? Or are you going to fly this Zero right into the flight deck of the USS Enterprise?

    Ok, I’m out — back to work for me.

  41. She should do ads for Geico. Joke!

  42. caljenna

    I agree with HollyJ (#85). That being said, the post at 19 that started this all was pretty damn funny.

  43. Hecubus

    I used to have a pair of glasses just like that when I was a kid, I got them from a fun fair.

  44. schack

    how gross must it be to be the maid who has to scrub the orange rings out of Xtina’s bath and shower?

  45. schack

    i have to agree with #85 while we’re remotely on the topic. all i gather from these discussions is that danielle is fat and of african decent, b/c she posted a picture of herself and richport, or something. big whoop. let the person who has posted a hot picture of themselves throw the first stone.

  46. lambman

    Isn’t she like half latina? Why is she using fake tanner at all?

  47. DrPhowstus

    I would imagine fucking her from behind while wearing white pants might reveal my devious act.

  48. schack

    please. she’s about as latina as a marshmellow.

  49. schack

    the whole latina thing was a marketing scam so she could (like mariah) sneak her loony trumpet voice into hip-hop.

  50. schack

    that came out wrong. mariah is ten times the vocalist, but she used being “mixed” as an excuse to go hip-hop.

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