Christina Aguilera deserves a night out, hearts America

Christina Aguilera (Above urging you to vote or else Max Liron eats Stars N’ Stripe. Christ, I’ll do it, lady!) defended herself against critics of her nights out to the club. I mean, you try spending 24/7 with Jordan Bratman. Hour after hour of him wearing a wizard hat and playing Oblivion. It would drive Mother Teresa to knock back Jell-O shots. But, of course, Christina paints a different, almost believable picture to Access Hollywood. I KNOW YOUR SECRETS!:

“I spend all day with my son and once in a while if I want to go out and have a mommy-daddy night with my husband, I am more than allowed to do that,” Christina told Access Hollywood.
“They never air [footage] of the paparazzi actually pulling up beside my husband and being like, ‘When is she going to leave the house? I have been trying to get a picture of her for weeks.'”

Dude, she’s lying. The paparazzi talking to Jordan Bratman? Riiiight. I’m pretty sure the paps don’t speak Mole People. I mean, c’mon. Anyone whose mastered the language would be halfway to the Earth’s core by now. Why? For the Mole Gold, genius. Jesus, what do they teach you kids in school these days?