Christina Aguilera changes her look

July 27th, 2006 // 136 Comments

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Christina Aguilera has been doing the Gwen Stefani thing for so long I’ve almost forgotten how stunning she can be when she wants to. She was spotted leaving The Ivy looking like she did three years ago, before turning into the reincarnation of Marilyn Monroe and adopting an entire wardrobe of see through clothes. Which is bad news for her husband, because you can see him sulking in the background like he knows the divorce his imminent. Although the daily reminders that he looks like a giant mole man and is the biggest mistake of her life might’ve given it away too.

More of Christina and her new look after the jump.

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  1. crabbity

    Does she ever smile? In all of here pictures, she looks blank, like a robot….hey wait a minute. That explains it. This isn’t the *real* Cristina, this is the cyborg built by ferretboy. He has to continually repair and upgrade her so that explains the continuous change in appearance and that broken “knee” picture. I bet the real Christina is handcuffed to a pipe in the basement screaming for someone to rescue her. I think I’m on to something.

  2. crabbity

    Does she ever smile? In all of here pictures, she looks blank, like a robot….hey wait a minute. That explains it. This isn’t the *real* Cristina, this is the cyborg built by ferretboy. He has to continually repair and upgrade her so that explains the continuous change in appearance and that broken “knee” picture. I bet the real Christina is handcuffed to a pipe in the basement screaming for someone to rescue her. I think I’m on to something.

  3. crabbity

    Does she ever smile? Look at all of her pictures. She always looks blank, like a robot….hey wait a minute. That explains it. This isn’t the *real* Cristina, this is the cyborg built by ferretboy. He has to continually repair and upgrade her so that explains the continuous change in appearance and that broken “knee” picture. I bet the real Christina is handcuffed to a pipe in the basement screaming for someone to rescue her. I think I’m on to something.

  4. jFp

    what I would do for her:

    I do this thing I call “nownonowornow”.
    I like a long slow windup before the pitch with a girl I really want to impress. So I do a slow snuggle undress thing that always has the juice’s running. This leads up to the “nownonowornow” where we are in a hug and I lay up the bone between us. They feel this monster reaching up to their navel already and wonder what the hell it will do inside. I’m kissing the nipples and then slowly start kissing down to their belly. They feel the head of the beast sliding close to the opening and then…I start moving it away back up to where it was letting it thump/pulse on their belly. Then I repeat this several times before business begins.
    It’s always great when they cry “please now now”.

    Yep, I’d stuff xtina…she’d love it too.

  5. jFp

    what I would do for her:

    I do this thing I call “nownonowornow”.
    I like a long slow windup before the pitch with a girl I really want to impress. So I do a slow snuggle undress thing that always has the juice’s running. This leads up to the “nownonowornow” where we are in a hug and I lay up the bone between us. They feel this monster reaching up to their navel already and wonder what the hell it will do inside. I’m kissing the nipples and then slowly start kissing down to their belly. They feel the head of the beast sliding close to the opening and then…I start moving it away back up to where it was letting it thump/pulse on their belly. Then I repeat this several times before business begins.
    It’s always great when they cry “please now now”.

    Yep, I’d stuff xtina…she’d love it too.

  6. jFp

    what I would do for her:

    I do this thing I call “nownonowornow”.
    I like a long slow windup before the pitch with a girl I really want to impress. So I do a slow snuggle undress thing that always has the juice’s running. This leads up to the “nownonowornow” where we are in a hug and I lay up the bone between us. They feel this monster reaching up to their navel already and wonder what the hell it will do inside. I’m kissing the nipples and then slowly start kissing down to their belly. They feel the head of the beast sliding close to the opening and then…I start moving it away back up to where it was letting it thump/pulse on their belly. Then I repeat this several times before business begins.
    It’s always great when they cry “please now now”.

    Yep, I’d stuff xtina…she’d love it too.

  7. jFp

    what I would do for her:

    I do this thing I call “nownonowornow”.
    I like a long slow windup before the pitch with a girl I really want to impress. So I do a slow snuggle undress thing that always has the juice’s running. This leads up to the “nownonowornow” where we are in a hug and I lay up the bone between us. They feel this monster reaching up to their navel already and wonder what the hell it will do inside. I’m kissing the nipples and then slowly start kissing down to their belly. They feel the head of the beast sliding close to the opening and then…I start moving it away back up to where it was letting it thump/pulse on their belly. Then I repeat this several times before business begins.
    It’s always great when they cry “please now now”.

    Yep, I’d stuff xtina…she’d love it too.

  8. crabbity

    Does she ever smile? Look at all of her pictures. She always looks blank, like a robot….hey wait a minute. That explains it. This isn’t the *real* Cristina, this is the cyborg built by ferretboy. He has to continually repair and upgrade her so that explains the continuous change in appearance and that broken “knee” picture. I bet the real Christina is handcuffed to a pipe in the basement screaming for someone to rescue her. I think I’m on to something.

  9. crabbity

    Does she ever smile? Look at all of her pictures. She always looks blank, like a robot….hey wait a minute. That explains it. This isn’t the *real* Cristina, this is the cyborg built by ferretboy. He has to continually repair and upgrade her so that explains the continuous change in appearance and that broken “knee” picture. I bet the real Christina is handcuffed to a pipe in the basement screaming for someone to rescue her. I think I’m on to something.

  10. Fugurself

    @25, if that happened, the Boston Globe will make us instant celebrities. Then the Superfish will write shit about us…and everybody will spend their working days trying to write something witty and funny about us…except a few COOBs on here….

  11. crabbity

    Does she ever smile? Look at all of her pictures. She always looks blank, like a robot….hey wait a minute. That explains it. This isn’t the *real* Cristina, this is the cyborg built by ferretboy. He has to continually repair and upgrade her so that explains the continuous change in appearance and that broken “knee” picture. I bet the real Christina is handcuffed to a pipe in the basement screaming for someone to rescue her. I think I’m on to something.

  12. andrewthezeppo

    I’d make fun…but I don’t know what to say.

    She just looks….nice. She’s not being an attention whore, gettingin a fight, comming out of her top, flashing panties.

    But I bet she’s still bowlegged…ha

  13. jFp

    what I would do for her:

    I do this thing I call “nownonowornow”.
    I like a long slow windup before the pitch with a girl I really want to impress. So I do a slow snuggle undress thing that always has the juice’s running. This leads up to the “nownonowornow” where we are in a hug and I lay up the bone between us. They feel this monster reaching up to their navel already and wonder what the hell it will do inside. I’m kissing the nipples and then slowly start kissing down to their belly. They feel the head of the beast sliding close to the opening and then…I start moving it away back up to where it was letting it thump/pulse on their belly. Then I repeat this several times before business begins.
    It’s always great when they cry “please now now”.

    Yep, I’d stuff xtina…she’d love it too.

  14. Binky

    Been busy – so just skimmed the story – but I don’t think I would want the guy, ‘hanging out’ and Jacking his LaLane in my pool either.
    And he shouldn’t be braggin’ to K-Fed about it.

  15. crabbity

    Does she ever smile? Look at all of her pictures. She always looks blank, like a robot….hey wait a minute. That explains it. This isn’t the *real* Cristina, this is the cyborg built by ferretboy. He has to continually repair and upgrade her so that explains the continuous change in appearance and that broken “knee” picture. I bet the real Christina is handcuffed to a pipe in the basement screaming for someone to rescue her. I think I’m on to something.

  16. jFp

    what I would do for her:

    I do this thing I call “nownonowornow”.
    I like a long slow windup before the pitch with a girl I really want to impress. So I do a slow snuggle undress thing that always has the juice’s running. This leads up to the “nownonowornow” where we are in a hug and I lay up the bone between us. They feel this monster reaching up to their navel already and wonder what the hell it will do inside. I’m kissing the nipples and then slowly start kissing down to their belly. They feel the head of the beast sliding close to the opening and then…I start moving it away back up to where it was letting it thump/pulse on their belly. Then I repeat this several times before business begins.
    It’s always great when they cry “please now now”.

    Yep, I’d stuff xtina…she’d love it too.

  17. Binky

    Been busy – so just skimmed the story – but I don’t think I would want the guy, ‘hanging out’ and Jacking his LaLane in my pool either.
    And he shouldn’t be braggin’ to K-Fed about it.

  18. jFp

    what I would do for her:

    I do this thing I call “nownonowornow”.
    I like a long slow windup before the pitch with a girl I really want to impress. So I do a slow snuggle undress thing that always has the juice’s running. This leads up to the “nownonowornow” where we are in a hug and I lay up the bone between us. They feel this monster reaching up over their navel already and wonder what the hell it will do inside. I’m kissing the nipples and then slowly start kissing down to their belly. They feel the head of the beast sliding close to the opening and then…I start moving it away back up to where it was letting it thump/pulse on their belly. Then I repeat this several times before business begins.
    It’s always great when they cry “please now now”.

    Yep, I’d stuff xtina…she’d love it too.

  19. jFp

    what I would do for her:

    I do this thing I call “nownonowornow”.
    I like a long slow windup before the pitch with a girl I really want to impress. So I do a slow snuggle undress thing that always has the juice’s running. This leads up to the “nownonowornow” where we are in a hug and I lay up the bone between us. They feel this monster reaching up over their navel already and wonder what the hell it will do inside. I’m kissing the nipples and then slowly start kissing down to their belly. They feel the head of the beast sliding close to the opening and then…I start moving it away back up to where it was letting it thump/pulse on their belly. Then I repeat this several times before business begins.
    It’s always great when they cry “please now now”.

    Yep, I’d stuff xtina…she’d love it too.

  20. Binky

    Been busy – so just skimmed the story – but I don’t think I would want the guy, ‘hanging out’ and Jacking his LaLane in my pool either.
    And he shouldn’t be braggin’ to K-Fed about it.

  21. jrzpussie

    Dear SFguy: WTF? I get temporarily banned from this site for using the F word? There is way worse written on this site that in no way could be monitored just be searching for the typical swearword you tards!! Besides if I want to call Christina Aguilera’s husband an ugly F*** I’ll call him an ugly F*** cause that’s what he is

  22. gatorbates

    Wow. I’ve always thought she was hot. Anybody out there want to Dirty Ribiero her?

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Dirty+Ribeiro

    I’ll go first. Damn she looks hot here.

  23. Cuore56

    She didn’t change her look. She just isn’t wearing bright red lipstick and she opted for false eyelashes instead of black liquid eyeliner. She’s got a zombie-like expression on her face.

  24. gatorbates

    Wow. I’ve always thought she was hot. Anybody out there want to Dirty Ribiero her?

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Dirty+Ribeiro

    I’ll go first. Damn she looks hot here.

  25. Cuore56

    She didn’t change her look. She just isn’t wearing bright red lipstick and she opted for false eyelashes instead of black liquid eyeliner. She’s got a zombie-like expression on her face.

  26. gatorbates

    Wow. I’ve always thought she was hot. Anybody out there want to Dirty Ribiero her?

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Dirty+Ribeiro

    I’ll go first. Damn she looks hot here.

  27. gatorbates

    Wow. I’ve always thought she was hot. Anybody out there want to Dirty Ribiero her?

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Dirty+Ribeiro

    I’ll go first. Damn she looks hot here.

  28. gatorbates

    Wow. I’ve always thought she was hot. Anybody out there want to Dirty Ribeiro her?

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Dirty+Ribeiro

    I’ll go first. Damn she looks hot here.

  29. gatorbates

    Wow. I’ve always thought she was hot. Anybody out there want to Dirty Ribiero her?

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Dirty+Ribeiro

    I’ll go first. Damn she looks hot here.

  30. Binky

    Been busy – so just skimmed the story – but I don’t think I would want the guy, ‘hanging out’ and Jacking his LaLane in my pool either.
    And he shouldn’t be braggin’ to K-Fed about it.

  31. crabbity

    Does she ever smile? Look at all of her pictures. She always looks blank, like a robot….hey wait a minute. That explains it. This isn’t the *real* Cristina, this is the cyborg built by ferretboy. He has to continually repair and upgrade her so that explains the continuous change in appearance and that broken “knee” picture. I bet the real Christina is handcuffed to a pipe in the basement screaming for someone to rescue her. I think I’m on to something.

  32. gatorbates

    Wow. I’ve always thought she was hot. Anybody out there want to Dirty Ribiero her?

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Dirty+Ribeiro

    I’ll go first. Damn she looks hot here.

  33. Dtbb

    C-La is so cute. All u haterz have alot in common with her: she hates you too. But what’s that clown doing in the background? I don’t notice any air conditioners nearby that need to be installed.

  34. CruisingForCock

    I need a nuprin.

  35. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    If being hungover is the new stunning, then I must be the most beautiful woman on the planet, which would explain why men are always passing out in pools of their own ejaculate whenever I enter a room. It would also explain why Jagermeister is good for you, in case you had ever wondered about the nutritional value of Jagermeister.

  36. Fugurself

    Question: If U see a guy with a gerbil’s tail hanging from his back side does it mean he loves the cock?

  37. jFp

    wow, my beast is so heavy it caused a temporal rift.

  38. Binky

    For those of you with short attention spans – this site now features instant replay.

  39. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    If you see a guy, and only the gerbil’s tail is hanging out, then he is only bi-curious, because if he truly LTC there would be no trace of gerbil as his ass would’ve eagerly engulfed the whole animal. Now if there is a dog tail sticking out of his ass that means that he is either very super gay or that he is part man – part dog: in which case he probably likes to eat pussy all day with salt and pepper.

  40. rolson

    I think Fugurself likes the cock. FLTC!

  41. Fugurself

    @90, You are right! I love my cock when I insert into wet, beautiful and fun women. U wouldn’t have a clue about that, will U?

  42. LilRach

    I fucken love this bitch. She’s hot, classy, sexy and cute all at the same time.

    Christina stop making me doubt my sexuality!!!

  43. LilRach

    And by the way – what’s with all the multiple posts??? Really annoying

  44. antispace

    Why do celebs always ride in the passenger seat? Are they really so important that they can’t be bothered to do something other than talk on a cell phone and look pretty? Gah!

  45. biatcho

    Did the Superficial Guy really use the word “stunning” to describe this chick?
    I guess we all know who he is now… Lance Bass. Very homosexual.

  46. @90 – no, that would be ME that loves the cock. I’m the one with the mad double penetration fantasy.

    @91 – I’ve never wanted to take public transportation more than I do right now.

  47. Grobpilot

    Can’t make too much fun of these pics unfortunately, but……..Nice tits.

  48. Fugurself

    @96, Zanna U are incredibly funny!! I walked past this church on Commonwealth Ave..and the pastor’s message for this Sunday is “The Bleating Sheep.”

  49. radio4play

    ewwwwwwwwww she’s still grosssss

  50. @98 – I wonder if anyone ever bleeted on the T before.

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