Christina Aguilera at 2006 MTV Movie Awards

June 5th, 2006 // 285 Comments
superficial

  1. pinky_nip

    @95: The only thing I’ve spread in regards to you, Papa, is my legs.

  2. Ariel

    @ 98…you would know wouldnt you?

  3. wicked_a

    hottest chick in the world.

  4. pinky_nip

    @102: SNAP! You got me!

    Do you love the little mermaid?

  5. BigJim

    DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
    DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
    DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
    DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
    DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

    Painfully.

  6. BigJim

    She’s the little sperm-maid.

  7. Ariel

    um, no. My name is Ariel

  8. superstar26

    tee hee

  9. meFailEnglish?

    I think a reasonable amount of make-up waved bye-bye to her about 30 coats ago.

  10. PapaHotNuts

    I may have been wrong Ariel. You actually have some sort of sense of humor and a dirty, whorish mouth. Maybe you’re not realted to the others. Insult me again, this time, don’t hold back and make me laugh. If you do, I will gladly apologize for insulting you and for calling your mother a whore. Unless she is, then I would like her number.

  11. sweetcheeks

    At least Marilyn Monroe had the decency to overdose.

    And Osh, I don’t think I would pee on the fucktard, either. I WOULD, however, ask that crazy hobo down by the Winn-Dixie to take a dump on her tonsils. And then wipe his ass with her tongue.

  12. pinky_nip

    @106: Eh, BigJim. How’s the lovely country? Been to any good white sales lately?

  13. BigJim

    Yesterday I was pretty hungover, and History Television was showing all of the “Band of Brothers” one after another. So, my day was set. That’s what I did all day. Afterwards, it got me to thinking about how bad war sucks. It made it personal for me, thinking about those brave young men on all sides who were taken away from their families and their homes to go off to lose limbs, minds, and even lives in battle.

    It really is a shame that people have to die in such a way.

    And it’s a bigger shame that people like the lamebananafrogwhipper get to live.

  14. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Ariel, did your mother name you that after she saw how you swam in the toilet so gracefully with the afterbirth?

  15. snookyookums

    Sooooooooooooooooo.
    I think Xtina should dye her hair “Gingersnap”…might really look nice on her. She’s been blonde too long.

  16. Italian Stallion

    Posted by Ariel on June 5, 2006 02:09 PM

    ok I am SERIOUSLY not iambananas/whipperwillow/fake feed me. I have commented on another thread and i told whipper_willow to fuck off at almost the same exact time he/she/it commented. Don’t believe me..go to the mariah carey thread

    Thats a neat trick to pull off, for your next trick try disappearing……..

  17. M@ce

    Just when I thought that IT couldn’t get any lamer or more pathetic, IT digs a little deeper.

  18. BigJim

    pinky:

    I was referring to Ariel as the sperm-maid, just in case you didn’t catch that.

    Canada is great. My igloo is finally starting to melt. But what do you mean about a white sale?

  19. jane's eyre

    109

    Ha ha! And I like your handle.

  20. CONFUTATIS

    @17 It says “Te amo siempre” Spanish for “I love you always” and has her husband’s Hebrew initials in the middle.

  21. superstar26

    wait! Christina looks like that teacher in florida banging kids.

    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0628042teach1.html

  22. Dr.Rokter

    #17 It says “Rough Trade” and she got it in the women’s penitentiary after she beat up the leader of the “Chingas Locas” in a hair-pulling contest and became Queen of Cell Block C.

  23. pinky_nip

    BigJim,

    I did get your sperm-aid joke. It was cute.

    Maybe they don’t call them white sales in canada. In the US a white sale is when bath towels, bedding, etc go on sale.

    Thought maybe you got yourself a new towel to wrap up in!

  24. jane's eyre

    120

    Yeah, because that “X-tina” is really in touch with her latina roots with that white hair.

  25. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    17 – It says “Drastically Marked Down! 50% Off OBO! See Owner!”

  26. PeteMcLochness

    “Ask not what your country could do for you, but rather, what you could do to “Ariel” with a soldering iron and a pair of pliers were she handcuffed to a radiator in your storm cellar.”

    –John Fitzgerald Kennedy
    (1917-1963)

  27. pinky_nip

    Do mermaids smell fishy?

  28. Fisher55

    Ariel, I believe your mom was a teen when she had you, seeing as how she named you after a cartoon character. that must suck

  29. superstar26

    #120 I’m scared you knew that tidbit

  30. PeteMcLochness

    In that bottom right pic of X-tina blowing a kiss, the red lipstik makes her look curiously like a blow-up doll. A blow-up doll with a lazy eye.

  31. CONFUTATIS

    @57 I agree-not Marilyn. I don’t know-
    she may be going for the Veronica Lake look. At least that’s what I thought when I first saw the pics.

    @124 don’t shoot the messenger, baby. I don’t know what her motive was for the Spanish, but that is what it says.

  32. gogoboots

    She looks retarded, what else is new?

  33. PeteMcLochness

    120–So she’s a shiksa. What self respecting Jew could sleep with her. UNCLEAN!! UNCLEAN!!

  34. jane's eyre

    126

    I love all these “never-before-seen” quotes from famous people: Mother Teresa, MLK, and now JKF.

  35. CONFUTATIS

    @129- I am no fan that follows all things Christina, but I know how to read Spanish and the Hebrew symbols are an educated guess knowing that her husband is Jewish.
    But if you want to fear me, go ahead it kinda gives me a power trip and makes me tingle in special places.

  36. Fugurself

    If you zoom in you can see the Virgin Mary in her armpit.

  37. jane's eyre

    133

    She’s the “other” white meat.

  38. Dr.Rokter

    #130 She looks like one of those blow up dolls that was made in China that has secret chemicals impregnated in the plastic that give American men erectile dysfunction afterwards so that the Chinese can invade us and tattoo bar codes on our children and make Christmas illegal. I heard about it on the O’Reilly Factor.

  39. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Christina is Clownyshiksahookerlicious. I’d hit that with a wiffle ball bat with a welders mask on and tape it. And then I’d sell the tape to you fools and make a claen break with my student loan providers, you perverted suckers.

  40. Ariel

    hey papa…I just checked out your myspace page. Nice pictures you got up there. Too bad they are the kind of pictures only blind people can masturbate to…

  41. Mooserepellant

    Thank you CONFUTATIS. How um.. sweet… what an odd place for a tattoo.

    God i feel like IT is that chick from the disco in austin powers. WHY WON’T YOU DIE!!!

  42. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    corrections:
    * “clean”
    * I would be wearing the mask, not the bat

  43. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    140 – Silly. Blind people don’t masturbate. Thay don’t have feelings either, duh.

  44. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    My spelling tody is awsumn

  45. Jacq

    #109 – MeFailEnglish – that’s unpossible! Are you who I think you are?

    #138 – Where do you come up with this stuff? I love you more each day.

  46. Jedi Kevin

    Is she the cute “Genie” girl? No, but she’s 100 time better than the dark-haired, pierced-nose, orge she once was.

  47. sweetcheeks

    Pete’s pretty good with the apropos quotes, too — he’s clearly a real lover of history.

    On that note:

    “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, with the exception of bananafucktard, who should be put in the stocks and pilloried.”

    (The Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson, June 28, 1776)

  48. Charlaurz McHall

    i wish someone would tell her to stop trying tolook like marilyn! she needs to figure out her own style, until then she will just look like fool.
    http://celebreligion.com

  49. jane's eyre

    146

    My favorite look was the Twisted Sister.
    http://www.eye.net/eye/issue/issue_06.28.01/funny/twins.html

  50. PapaHotNuts

    @140
    I gave you a fair shot a being funny and you failed. I would like to hit you in the face with that driftwood David Spade was holding.

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