Christina Aguilera at 2006 MTV Movie Awards

June 5th, 2006 // 285 Comments

  1. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    God Damn It, somebody please tell her that she’s not Marilyn Monroe, that she looks like a clown, and that I want to have sex with her. Thank you in advance, I’ll be waiting at the cabana.

  2. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Dirty Clown Sex here I come.

  3. colormeskanky

    she looks like marilyn monroe’s little sister who was never quite as hot but tried twice as hard to get the look down.

  4. Dr.Rokter

    I heard clowns started the AIDS epidemic by eating circus monkeys during lean times.

  5. Iambananas

    She really thinks shes great, doesnt she? I think she’s a skank. So the universe is now even.

  6. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I once asked Christina Aguilera for a ring, and she put one around my husband’s penis. It was made out of red lipstick.

  7. BarbadoSlim

    SKAAAAAAAAAANK HOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. Limbo

    i do her anytime she wants… i love that silicone!

  9. waterranger

    Her boobs, i mean, her EYES look wonky. Like she’s drunk. And made out of wax.

  10. spatz

    i dont recall marilyn monroe having leathery tan wrinkled skin and green and red scabs on the insides of her elbows.

  11. Iambananas

    And I know she’s rich and that dress is probably expensive… but it looks cheap. Well, it matches the rest of her.

    Have you heard her new song lyrics:

    You’ve got style,
    You’ve got class,
    You’ve got soul,
    You’re bad ass.

    Wow, now if that doesnt knock Paul Mccartney out for possibly the best songwriter of all time, I don’t know what will!

  12. spatz

    in the last picture it looks like someone should write “insert balls here” on her forehead.

  13. Nikki

    She has some REALLY weird track marks….

  14. suzy

    look at her right elbow

  15. jane's eyre

    Sooooo tired of the wannabe Marilyn look. I think she needs a switch.

    Tar and feathers should do it.

  16. BarbadoSlim

    You could lubricate all the tools in a lumberjack camp with all the “product” that comes out her dirty pores.

    This girl’s as dirty as they come, yeah she’s dirty….

  17. Mooserepellant

    Can somebody please tell me what the hell that tattoo is on her left arm? And why she’s going for a Gwen Stefani bobblehead doll look??

  18. Jacq

    Straw-haired trashbag.

    I’m really tired of seeing this bitch blow kisses.

  19. Ari

    Fat Marilyn was sexier than this skank. She looks not quite human. Definitely something weird about her eyes.

  20. JudithJetson

    Could her boobs look anymore FAKE? It’s tragic how celebs have ALL this $$$ and can’t afford decent plastic surgery. I almost feel so badly, I should start a charity fund for them…..

  21. Jacq

    I’m sure that no one else has noticed or even cares, but I can’t stand her fingernails. Especially her thumbnails. I first took note when she was flashing her engagement ring. They’re shaped like toe nails.

  22. TaiTai

    Marilyn Monroe? She looks like MM after she went through the spin cycle and came out damp, then got hung up to dry for a long long time. Don’t even compare this skank to Marilyn Monroe. She can only wish. And why do these people think white hair makes them look good?

  23. pinky_nip

    I have the feeling that touching her skin, with my bare hands, would leave a more greasy-after-feel than me rubbing lard all over some dude.

  24. pinky_nip

    not that I would know anything like that.

  25. Oh..I have a feeling you DO know something about that, my dear Pinkster. ; )

  26. BarbadoSlim

    @24 *cough cough* of course you wouldn’t…

    We musn’t not forget people, Marilyn Monroe was also a dirty skank, and dumb, AND a druggie.

    We are not gonna go soft just ’cause she’s dead.

  27. BarbadoSlim


    stupid no edit.

  28. gas_up_the_hrududu

    I fucking love the word “wang.”

    That is all.

  29. pinky_nip

    Zanna: You dirty little slut, let’s pudding wrestle.

  30. BigJim

    The Boycott is Called Off

    DO NOT boycott SF this Thursday. I received the following email from the SF Editor:

    The only thing we can do is turn off comments completely. We can’t ban IP’s and we tried banning accounts before but they just create a new one and it seems to fuel their stupidity. We’re looking into a better comment system, but until the only option we’d have is to shut down the
    comments completely. I dunno, what do you think?

    So, since they can’t ban IPs, we are stuck with lamebananafrogwhipper until the technology exists to ban them forever and all time. Being that there is nothing the SF can do about “it”, then I guess it wouldn’t be fair for us to boycott what is an otherwise excellent site. Further, they ARE trying to remedy the situation.

    Maybe one day the technology will exist that allows me to reach through my computer screen and strangle lamebananafrogwhipper until its eyes pop out of its retarded head. I could videotape the whole thing and then post it on youtube. That would be cool.

  31. gsprescueguy

    First of all, she looks hot! Marriage seems to be agreeing with her.

    I disgree with everyone about the MM look alike “thing”.

    I think she is trying to go for more of a Gwen Stefani “thing” because GS is so hot right now. She has just been to slutty in the past to pull it off now.

    She still looks hot!

  32. jane's eyre


    Yeah, with all that money, I would have someone with big boobs offed, and have them tranplant the bigger boobs on me, that way they’d be real. Except I’d have all those nasty staples for a while, and I’d look like Frankentits.

  33. jane's eyre


    Darn. Now they’ll be no living with HWMNBN.

  34. Jacq

    #30 – You really did your homework! Ok, we tried. Hang in there BigBuddy, it sucks for all of us.

    Pink_nip, I think that touching her would feel more like that slimy play-dough stuff that you can make at home. You know? Where it’s sort-of wet and kinda slimy, but very white and soft and smooth. This is making me feel ooky, I’m going to go take a bath now.

  35. Jacq

    P.S. I figured out that feel ooky because it is probably like white marble covered in vagina-slime.

  36. sweetcheeks

    I think only battery acid could make human hair turn that color “blonde.” Or maybe ingesting chlorine tablets with a chaser of muratic acid.

    I’m not sure what chemicals it takes to turn human skin that color orange, either… maybe an “iodine wash,” followed by a dip into a vat of pureed carrots.

    That is one unholy, unnatural monstrosity.

  37. Ari

    Too bad HWMNBN has no shame. If it did, surely it would’ve killed itself in a most dramatic and news-worthy way.


  38. BarbadoSlim


    all that needs to be done is NOTHING!

    do not acknowledge, reference or comment to it, if you ignore it it doesn’t exist.

  39. Mr. Fritz

    She is a “bag over the face” like Jennifer Love Blewitt. If you like your girls to look like clowns or Twisted Sister, then she’s the skank for you. When is this ho going to clean up her act? Why doesn’t she just go into pornos already? Whenever I look at her, my dick softens.

  40. Pinky…you are making me horney…cut it out (no don’t).

    And BigJim–if they ever come up with the technology that you can reach out and strangle someone….don’t. Reach out with your unit instead. LOL..I love that word..UNIT.

  41. UmSureRightYeah

    She looks like hatchet-face from the movie Cry-Baby.

  42. Can the SF at least make one of those overarching umbrella comments that HE WHO IS THE SUPERFICIAL dislikes when lamebanannaswhipperherbiewhateverthe-fuck comes and defiles the site?

  43. pinky_nip

    BTW, what is she like 2 years old with the stupid “blowing kisses”? Quit blowing your cum breath in my direction.

    I think she should just simulate “head”. It would be more realistic on her part.

  44. Oh Look, it’s Gwen Stefani’s ugly cousin.

  45. RichPort

    Considering that both Mariah and X-tina (stupid name) both got enough silicone to run most of Microsoft, it makes you wonder why Whitney never did. Oh that’s right, crack ain’t cheap when smoked in copious amounts. As much as I’d like to say I wouldn’t, Christina would get the pirate eye quicker than you can say “not in the face, not in the face” SPLOOSH

  46. jane's eyre


    Any other decent person would have backed out of this site a long time ago, seeing as how everyone despises IT. But they’re something haywire in his brain that gets him turned on when verbally bashed. The best punishment is to ignore it.

  47. tsarinaamanda

    Ugh, that totally sucks, BigJim. Isn’t this always the case, some fuckface gets to do whatever it wants and ruin it for the rest of us, and they can’t stop it? Lame-ass better hope I never run into it on the streets (I’m sure I’d know it if I saw it) because I’d commence to beating it’s ass. Well, I guess we should all go with Plan B- IGNORE EVERYTHING IT POSTS, NO MATTER WHAT PATHETIC ATTENTION-GRABBING SHIT IT DOES. Thanks for trying so hard though. You are one of the best people on here (the rest of you know who you are) and you make me laugh no matter what.

  48. Emmy & Riss

    Has anyone found actual proof that X-tina is a man? I didn’t think Mac produced that much make-up annually…

  49. PapaHotNuts

    She should just show her pussy. That’s the only way I could care about a picture of her, if it had her big pussy in hi-res.

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