UPDATE: Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman have a baby

January 11th, 2008 // 93 Comments

Christina Aguilera gave birth to a singular baby today, according to E! Online:

The couple announced the birth in a quick text message to friends and family around 4 p.m.: “Baby has arrived. Mom and dad are doing well!”
There were no further details immediately available.

TMZ is saying it’s a boy. My sources say it’s a Yeti. I trust my peeps on this one. And by peeps I mean all the beers I just drank.

UPDATE: People reports Christina Aguilera’s baby boy Max Liron Bratman was actually born late Saturday night and not Friday. Coincidentally, the baby shares the same name as a brand of feminine pads for Amazon warriors. Max Liron: Now with more bronze!

Photo: Splash News

  1. Lola

    holy poop on a stick!

  2. lexxy

    wow ive never done that before. i can see how it can be addicting


    I’m sure the baby was born covered in a delicious syrup. Just like the baby pancakes I get at this really crappy place every morning. I wish the babies were on a stick and then dunked in pancake batter like those Jimmy Dean things. Yes, chocolate chip pancake batter around a baby on a stick.

  4. The White Urkle

    Let the breast feeding begin!

  5. So…..doesn’t this mean that Christina Aguilera’s baby boy and Nicole Richie’s baby girl are gonna end up together?? Born on the same day, right? Hmm………….I wonder……

  6. There is no denying the motherly bliss and glow on her face :-D

  7. my friend had a baby girl today too! big day for babies!! congrats celebS!!

  8. holymoly

    Whats funnier than a dead baby??


  9. TS

    #1 and 3, get over it. You got it out of your system, hopefully you wuill never be guilty of calling “1st” ever again. OK?

  10. D. Richards (Afflicted.)

    Why is Superficial posting this late? I figured the mother’s of the people responsible for Superficial sent their little babies to ‘sleepy time’ around seven in the evening. Yay.

    I really am not looking foward to all these new celebrity babies. People have children all the time and it’s no big deal, admittedly. To the parents, yeah, it’s huge having a baby, whatever — because people just can’t believe that they reproduce — it’s absolutely amazing! Sure, breeder. You put your genitals together and what did ya’ think would happen? By the way, other people could care less about your baby. It’s your child. Just; and who fucking cares? No, Dick, you just don’t understand! You just don’t get it. Yes, for once you’re right. I don’t understand the importance; thank god!

    Celebrities are the worst too, because they somehow think that they’re heroes for having children. Christina Aguilera will be on Oprah shortly, showing off her new toy; And the same will happen in nine-months when Jessica Alba has the most beautiful baby that the wrold’s ever seen; resulting in the child being shoved down the world’s collective throat. Who cares? It’s not as important as these people think. End of story.

  11. don't be a crybaby

    UR JUST JEALUS BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. TS

    #1 and 3, get over it. You got it out of your system, hopefully you will never be guilty of calling “1st” ever again. OK?


    “People have children all the time and it’s no big deal, admittedly.”



  14. rob zoomby

    I didn’t know that white whore skank was pregnant. Who the hell is she anyways?

  15. D. Richards (Grip.)

    #14? Sure.

    ‘Loo’ at that there miracle! Tha’s a miracle. Thank you magic man!’

  16. Kim

    Wait, she had a baby the same day as Nicole Richie?! What are the odds!

    Way to take away Nicole’s thunder, Christina.

  17. She’s still preg. Not labor! And our wishes from http://www.femmate.com go to her and her baby!!

  18. Linder

    IT’S A BOY!

  19. Andrew

    IT’s A MONSTER in a bottle!

  20. lg

    #11 gets my undying adulation for that comment. 100% in agreement and he/she stole the words right outta my mouth.

  21. comm

    Congratulations. But just saw her husband’s profile on WealthyRomance.com last week. Seems he can’t wait to date new girls.

  22. Mike

    The girl is ugly with her bleached out hair and loads of make up. She always looks cheap and dirty. not my type of ho.

  23. I am in shock - help me

    I have come to Satan. For once I agree with the evil D. R. The last thing we need in this country or world is a spate of young’ins being born. The peasant classes rely on simpler joys – righteousness of our country’s military/slaughtering adventures (go team! Yay bombs are like, well, bombs tossed by Brady and Manning!) ,Jeeziz! Adorable BAbeeeeeezzz(until they become pesky children and rancid resource-sucking adults, the last thing on earth this earth needs (global warming anyone?).
    Down the street walks a New American with her attendent flock of children pushing a stroller with a heaven sent fetus (future cheap laborer) in her saggy 19 year old uterus.

  24. Lowlands

    Despite the overpopulation in the world i want to congrat this wax masked blond diva and her husband with their brood:)

  25. Grape Ape Pees Wine on You

    #24 — are you trying to fake intelligence? I understand; sometimes it’s fun to pretend.

    You sound inbred. What do the births of a couple of children to celebrities have to do with global warming?

    And why do you, as a “rancid resource-sucking adult”, matter more than anybody else?

  26. Toolboy

    I bet it looks like a hairy clown.

  27. BdayGurrl

    January 11th is THE day to be born… can you guess when my birthday was?! :) haha finally, someone semi famous has the same birthday as me. I can sleep in peace.

  28. Ted from LA

    October 28th?

  29. Genie in a bottle

    Now that she has her little half-clone she wanted, she’ll dumb this sperm vendor she bought. You’ll see.

  30. Ali

    I thought she was pregnant with twins.

  31. I’m sure the baby is beautiful.
    Just because the dad is ugly, it doesn’t mean the baby has to be ugly. It’s a combination of feautures, they baby definitely could be gorgeous.

    And Xtina is so pretty. She used to be so hot too.

  32. woodhorse

    @ D. Richards (Sperm Donor) – perhaps your irritation would be lessened if all those people who didn’t really want children and don’t take care of them didn’t have any? I’m at a loss as to how that could be accomplished. Oh, and MADDOX RULES!!

    9/11 was an inside job
    Kid Rock Shoots Blanks

  33. There are some busy times coming to PHOTOSHOP-LAND!!

  34. Cristian

    i love u cunt!!!

  35. yeahhhh

    Rep: Christina Aguilera Is “Still Pregnant”

    By Usmagazine.com
    January 11, 2008, 9:00 pm PST

    celebs: Christina Aguileratopics: Baby BumpsMusicians
    Christina Aguilera has not yet given birth, despite published reports.

    “She is still pregnant,” a rep for the singer, 27, tells Usmagazine.com, adding, “she is not in labor.”

  36. Grape Ape AHole

    Moron, enough with the inbred stuff. It is really old. Insult me in a new way, please! I love it but you are tired and stupid.
    Not sure what you imply with “fake intelligence”. I say what I say, dumb or smart.
    Apparently, you are too coarse a thinker to realize that this world is gravely overpopulated and that I uh did not concieve myself to be born, you silly dumb fuck of a retard, the product of a whore and a drunken bum.
    I know that statistics and facts are beyond the reach of the common man. Global warming is the direct result of man and his cutting down trees, factories belching primarily CO2 into the atmoshere, and mining poisoning the groundwater. The enormous human population exasperates these problems.
    The last thing we need is more dumb worthless fucks like you peeing wine on people or breathing for that matter. Please get lost, you are just too dumb to talk to. Are you dead yet?

  37. Here’s hoping the child doesn’t have a wacked-out name.

  38. well i think it’s great. i bet the baby will be beautyfull, and thank god the parents have enogh money for a proper education!

    rita, sutree.com

  39. Bratman's genes

    How could the baby be beautiful? The father is easily the ugliest man in the history of earth. Easily.

  40. Jess

    Congrats to Christina!!!!!!!!!! I love her, and I think she will be an amazing mommy :)

  41. Grape Ape Pees Wine on You


    I’m aware that the world is having trouble accommodating its population, but that doesn’t mean it can’t.

    There are no convincing statistics that prove or disprove global warming, either. At best, you have measuring instruments and data over a usable sample size that have not been validated properly. Yes, I understand statistics and the fundamentals of Climatology. I promise you that I understand both subjects better than you do.

  42. MiCheDa

    Surely some of you, have too much time on your hands or you have been masterbating way too much. She had a baby, get over it. Women have them every day and then return to work in 8 weeks or they stay at home and take care of them.

    We will say this baby is beautiful, like everyone does when they first see them as to not upset the mother and father. When really they are butt ugly after being squeezed out a hole no bigger than two fingers….maybe three, depends on the person.

  43. MiCheDa

    Surely some of you, have too much time on your hands or you have been masterbating way too much. She had a baby, get over it. Women have them every day and then return to work in 8 weeks or they stay at home and take care of them.

    We will say this baby is beautiful, like everyone does when they first see them as to not upset the mother and father. When really they are butt ugly after being squeezed out a hole no bigger than two fingers….maybe three, depends on the person.

  44. Grape Ape Pees Wine on You

    Congrats to Christina and her growing family.

    She seems to be doing things the right way, unlike some of her peers. She’s got a lot of talent and quite a set of pipes. Pretty young woman. I don’t think she cares a bit what the world thinks of her husband’s looks. I don’t think he cares, either.

    I bet that kid is beautiful.

  45. A. Sanderson

    #11- YES! Agreed!

  46. Happy for ‘em all.

    Hope Xtina’s baby grows up to look like mommy….

    Good luck on that…..

  47. Grape Ape AHole

    First, dunce – product of parents both so ugly that desperation replaced passion in their union – the is deteriorating and cannot support the population it has now. The popualtion of man was somewhat stable at about 500 million for 2000 years until the Age of Oil. From 1860 onwards it is now closing in on 7 billion. This is artificial. When the oil runs out so will the food. The “genius” of American faming was the utilization of nitrogen, a direct byproduct of oil, as fertilizer. Take away the oil and you then take away the food. Not to mention the continuing soil erosion of the earth. It continues unabated yearly. Virginia has destroyed over 30% of it’s mountain tops alone and poisoned the streams below it. We claim vast portions of the earth for phospates, leaving pits behind. Agricultural runoff results in pollution wrecking vast bodies of water. Coal is a terrible thing to use. Horrendous amounts of CO2, mercury (by the way, you cannot eat ANY freshwater fish in Florida anymore), Sulfur dioxide (sulphuric acid a terrible killer of forests, turns scandinavian hair greenish). Nuclear energy leaves behind wastes that take ages to reduce and are then tucked into the earth, these factories consume giant amounts of water. The factories of the earth and the vast conversion of forest into agricultual crops consumes far too much water. Most of the earth’s fresh water is in the form of glaciers WHICH ARE MELTING and this will cause the sea level to rise. Half the world’s population lives near coasts and will not be able to crops such as rice and will thus starve. On and on. The world is poisoned, losing soil (which sometimes takes thousands of years to form), heating up, storms are on the rise, next comes ethanol which will use even more carbon sources and will thus end up in the atmosphere.
    Apparently you are ignorant.

  48. hey can we do a link exchange? can you help me please? :D:D:D i need it :D:D

  49. ..

    The dad may be ugly but Christina is hot, why can’t the baby look like his or her mom?

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