Why won’t any of these pop stars let me direct their music videos? Sure they might complain about the nude pillowfight scene at first, but they’ll thank me later when they win the Academy Award for best scene ever captured on film.
NOTE: Yeah, they’ll actually create a new category for the Oscars just to accomodate how awesome my music video would be.
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Gisele Bundchen Speaks Out After Her Latest Controversy – Lainey Gossip |
 Lady Gaga Reveals Her Eating Disorder – Huffington Post | |
| Naomi Campbell sexy new photoshoot. – Fox News | |
| Vanessa Hudgens Falls Out Of Her Shirt – Popoholic | |
| Celebrities' Real Names Exposed – Newser | |
| No bras here. – The Chive |
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Adam Levine Signs 'Glee' Guy to New Label, Poses For Terry Richardson (PHOTOS) |
Relationship Expert on Halle Berry's Reported Move: It's About Being Selfless, Not Selfish (PHOTOS) |
Camila Alves Flashes Engagement Ring, Talks Wedding Plans (PHOTOS) |
'Madly in Love' Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart Hang Tight in Los Angeles |
Lady Gaga's Tattooed 'Born This Way' Costar Reveals 'Top Secret' Project with Singer |
Lindsay Lohan's Platinum Blonde Locks: Yay or Nay? (PHOTOS) |
cruzin333 | June 20, 2006 at 3:03 pm
Personally, I’m sick of Christina Aguilera. Her and her damn gumby legs.
rmeno | June 20, 2006 at 3:07 pm
It’s a terrible song….total waste of time
honeycomb's_big_yeahyeahyeah | June 20, 2006 at 3:14 pm
How noir. Wot’s with “X’s” retro fetish? Totally ridiculous, because trailer parks weren’t even invented yet.
waterranger | June 20, 2006 at 3:15 pm
umm, christina should get over herself and this whole 50′s obsession of hers. I kinda like the song though, its catchy.
Metabolic | June 20, 2006 at 3:16 pm
all these Aguilera videos are self-indulgent poo
waterranger | June 20, 2006 at 3:16 pm
and why is this news? we dont get a posting every single time somebody makes a new video?? although, everyone should check out Lily Allen’s video for Smile, its brilliant!
endometriorama | June 20, 2006 at 3:20 pm
whatever happened to baby jane?
what a bunch of overproduced garbage.
MissKristen | June 20, 2006 at 3:23 pm
BOO that sucked
kandyk0119 | June 20, 2006 at 3:24 pm
SHE F*CKIN SUCKS SO BAD, HER VOICE IS WORSE THAN FINGERNAILS ON A CHAULK BOARD ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE DOES THAT UH-E-UH-E-UH-E CRAP, MAKES ME WANNA RIP OUT HER THROAT WITH MY BARE HANDS LIKE ON ROADHOUSE. I WISH WE COULD SEND HER BACK TO THE 40′S SINCE SHE WANTS TO BE FRIGGIN MARILYN MONROE OR SOMETHING, THAT WAY SHE’D BE DEAD OR PRETTY CLOSE BY NOW….
UNWASHEDMASSES | June 20, 2006 at 3:36 pm
It’s 2006, why am I looking at trombones? Who the fuck came up with this travesty, the same guy who brought us Michael Jackson’s Smooth Criminal? I understand an artist going back for influences, but the frigging ’20′s?? With Britney supersized, Mandy and Jessica focusing on movies, and Ashlee no competition to anyone, THIS is what Christina drops on us? She has absolutely no one standing in her way from the vaunted crown of sole pop princess superstar, and she regurgitates this two-flusher?? As an aside, upon seeing Ms. Bratman’s latest video Britney promptly descended into a quivering mass of cheeto-dusted, tear-stained hick fuck once more.
jFp | June 20, 2006 at 3:41 pm
I wish she would just shut up and make a porno for me.
DinerGirl | June 20, 2006 at 3:47 pm
#6 — I agree. Hell, if this is the place to promote artists’ videos, then you should check out this one. It’s so hip and cool and awesome and rad and not gay at all:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2_5KOnSsfI
Hara | June 20, 2006 at 3:51 pm
1. Why do i feel like I’ve already seen this? Beyonce’s Baby Boy with Usher? It’s not bad in and of itself, but totally unoriginal.
2. I love how she keeps all her backup dancers brunette and masculine looking so she stands out in comparison.
3. I like the song but she totally could have kicked this up a notch. Pop is in the toilet at the moment (as of the last 2 years). Talk about wasting a golden opportunity.
waterranger | June 20, 2006 at 3:51 pm
ahahahaha @12 that just totally made my whole day! That video always makes me laugh, because of its non-gayness of course.
Hara | June 20, 2006 at 3:54 pm
WTF number 12. . .
I was JUST watching this video for the first time with my friend the other day. I’d forgotten how gay the Village people really were.
ps. maybe the video X-tina (what a gay name) reminds me of is Usher’s Caught Up… or maybe Chris Brown’s Gimme That. Seriously, I’m kind of Over them all using the same director, set, and backup band, and makeup artists.
andrewthezeppo | June 20, 2006 at 4:02 pm
I think the song’s hot, and the video fits. Yeah its a little bizzare that she thinks its the 20′s or 40′s (not the 30′s cause you know the great depression is so last season)
but the girl can sing, and it’s better than anything Jessica or Britney ever did
Ms. Dilligaff | June 20, 2006 at 4:14 pm
Meh, she’s alright I guess, but she’s no Connie Chung! Take a look:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLY3dz97jyM
Dean | June 20, 2006 at 4:16 pm
I’m not a fan of superpop vocals, but I like the music in this song. Christina’s hella hot too.
Courtney | June 20, 2006 at 4:29 pm
Hey, #9, sweetie, Marilyn was popular in the 50s. But you totally put her in her place, for sure. So brilliant. Any other incorrect pop culture references you’d care to make today? Also, what’s ‘chaulk’? Is that like a combination of chalk and caulk? Lastly, your caps lock key is located on the left-hand side of your keyboard. Thanks a bunch. Much love!
spamnews | June 20, 2006 at 4:42 pm
I like it. the reaons, by the way, you are seing trombones is because they are on the backing track. try to synch up your audio and video sometime and have a listen. Duh.
UNWASHEDMASSES | June 20, 2006 at 4:49 pm
#20 – No shit moron. The comment about trombones was that they had their time in the ’20′s and Big Band era, we don’t need them back. And before you go off on how they are necessary for Xtina to do her retro thing, reread the second sentence.
limper | June 20, 2006 at 4:53 pm
The best part of this video was the big sign that said “ARLEM”, which I assume stands for Harlem in New York City, and not Haarlem in the Netherlands. I guess it’s vital to the concept of the video that people know it takes place in Harlem and not Chicago or St. Louis.
I like the idea that there are these big lighted signs all over New York that tell you what neighborhood you’re in. Like if you go to East Flatbush there are billboards that say “EAST FLATBUSH”. Xtina should do a series of music videos around this concept.
spanglish | June 20, 2006 at 4:58 pm
Why does she always have to flirt/make-out with the camera?She may have guy fans that think she is hot, but most of them probably hate her music and are not going to pay for any X-tina merchandise (except maybe posters), so she needs to give it a rest already! She has a good natural voice, but she is always too over the top and it totally turns me off. Plus, I like music that I can actually sing along to and not Olympic, hitting-notes-that-only-dogs-can-here singing.
spanglish | June 20, 2006 at 4:59 pm
here/hear – whoops!
spanglish | June 20, 2006 at 5:02 pm
We need trombones for marching bands, damnit! Where would those nerds be without trombones? Trombone players everywhere are jumping off cliffs like lemmings!
JungleChik | June 20, 2006 at 5:05 pm
#23 I agree. I find it ironic that she’s singing “Ain’t no other man” yet she’s posing in lingerie and shaking her ass for the world (and all of its pervs included) to see. Her hubby’s gotta luv that.
spamnews | June 20, 2006 at 5:24 pm
#21. Thanks for the update. the 20s you say? gee that was a long time ago – shall we do away with all the instruments ‘invented’ or used way back then’ (By the way the big band era was in the 40s, but let let that go for the moment)?
BTW the reason this vid is ‘important’ is that this is the 1rst release … uh … musical release she’s had in four years, apart from the stuff she did with the likes of Herbie Hancock, who apparently also uses trombones in some of his music and should be discounted.
#20 try to pull your musical head out of your ass and open your ears to stuff beyond what people cram down your ears – there is plenty of wonderful music being made in all styles with all sorts of ‘ancient instruments’. Seriously. Your comment paints you as a very very ignorant person. happily, there is a cure. open your mind, and your ears.
spamnews | June 20, 2006 at 5:27 pm
take two:
#2*1* try to pull your musical head out of your ass and open your ears to stuff beyond what people cram down your ears – there is plenty of wonderful music being made in all styles with all sorts of ‘ancient instruments’. Seriously. Your comment paints you as a very very ignorant person. happily, there is a cure. open your mind, and your ears.
spanglish | June 20, 2006 at 5:34 pm
Drums have been around for way longer than the trombone. Should we throw them out, too? I’ll just beat on something that’s been invented recently – like Ashley Simpson’s nose or Aguilera’s boobs.
Jimmy Jamm | June 20, 2006 at 5:49 pm
Damn, Firt of all trombones are one of the best funk instruments out there, Check out Fred Wesley and if you can’t respect that then you stink.
Second of all did anyone who didn’t like this ever like any X-tina songs ever before? She is a pop star. Thats it. They are there to make pop music music that is cheesy and will not be lasting most of the time.
Third I think it is a pretty catchy song.
I know were here to make fun of people but seriously you all need some more wit.
Jimmy Jamm | June 20, 2006 at 5:50 pm
FIRST of all
sorry
krisdylee | June 20, 2006 at 6:21 pm
she shoulda stuck one of the trombones up her hooj.
MissKristen | June 20, 2006 at 6:46 pm
Her husband is ugly. I wonder what she sees in him. He seems like a huge dork. He could do better than her, though. She is a hoochie.
BarbadoSlim | June 20, 2006 at 7:52 pm
@27 Maybe YOU should gently remove your head out of Xtina’s ass. Then, while you are washing your mouth to remove the taste of her poo(optional); ponder the fact that HER brand of pop is the manure of the music the world that’s being rammed down people’s throat via payola and the control exerted by the radio station conglomerates and record companies.
BarbadoSlim | June 20, 2006 at 8:05 pm
*manure of the music world*
My bad grammar doesn’t change the fact that you like Aguilera’s poo.
good day to you.
UNWASHEDMASSES | June 20, 2006 at 8:15 pm
#27 – I love how you people call anyone who doesn’t like a particular brand of music “close-minded”. Are you so far left that you cannot conceive of a thing called personal taste… or freedom of choice? I am sure you love every form of musical expression out there, that there is not one single note someone has composed in which you do not find merit. I, for one, do not want to hear trombones, or Jew’s harps, or accordians, or bagpipes in my pop music. You’re entitled to your views, just don’t act superior because you love everything – certainly not that new single.
Punkin | June 20, 2006 at 9:01 pm
#22 In order to keep with the “ARLEM” sign, East Flatbush would have to read
“EA T F ATBUSH”
Jordan | June 20, 2006 at 9:19 pm
You know, I thought the trombones were a nice touch. And this video was much better than most of the crap that’s been put out lately (Mariah needs to realize she’s been dead for a while and go dig herself a hole and all of those so called R&B singers that instead just whine and whore themselves up in their vidoes are not real talents) Christina has a nice voice…better than Britney or Ashley, and this is a step up from her Dirrty days. I think it’s a good video. And anyone who feels like bashing any of my opinions rudely…I don’t care. :D
FeverDog | June 20, 2006 at 9:31 pm
zzzzzzzz
BarbadoSlim | June 20, 2006 at 9:41 pm
@38 Nobody’s going is going to “bash” any of your opinions Jordan. Your post was well thought out and articulate, let’s give’im a hand folks******
However your opinion doesn’t change the scientifically proven fact that Xtina is a dirty little midget that really overplays and overfunkifies(word?) anything she sings.
UH-E-UH-E-UH-E ad-nauseum.
that shit needs to stop, and that goes for all these “R&B” people STOP IT already.
ellaminnowpea | June 20, 2006 at 11:24 pm
@6 – yes! Lily Allen ROCKS!!
You can listen to SMILE on her MySpace page:
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=36707169
or at: http://www.lilyallenmusic.com/
The video of “Smile” is AWESOME!
JollyJumjuck | June 20, 2006 at 11:38 pm
Ah for fuck’s sake, “Video no longer available.”
Enrique | June 20, 2006 at 11:54 pm
So, I couldn’t actually watch the video, because the skank realized someone was violating her copyright. Nonetheless, I can say with certainty that the video was about as valuable as a warm bucket of hamster vomit. Keep in mind, that’s only if the video was her best yet.
As for the song, the vocal track isn’t actually all that horrible. However, the music doesn’t match it well. Perhaps she’ll come out with a remix that puts the vocals to a modern dance beat, and it will stop sucking ass so much.
Until then, this song is still a big ol’ pile of poo.
…. I’d still fuck her though;)…
….if I wanted my dick to fall off!!!
Pearly | June 21, 2006 at 12:31 am
The video is “no longer available” and I’m actually glad. I always hated her “voice lesson” style. Too many pop stars seem to think that is the right way to sing and it just sounds shitty…
VanillaSalTyBaLLs | June 21, 2006 at 12:48 am
Me??? I’m down with the messakins and that accordian and tuba stuff they crank out .. now that takes talent!!
Netzpolizei | June 21, 2006 at 1:30 am
Why post this video in the first place anyway?
It’s pretty obvious that such a violation of copyright won’t stay undetected for long.
Besides, I would d…ate her.
Sister Morphine | June 21, 2006 at 4:27 am
She’s worlds better than Shitney and her inability to sing live. Christina may oversing, but at least she sings. I’ll take that over some miming half-wit anyday. And yes, I’ve seen them both in concert, so I have some personal perspective on that.
And why are we bashing her choice of husband? Did it ever occur to some of you that she married him because he loves her and treats her well? Maybe she didn’t want to marry some Hollywood hottie just to end up divorced in 2 years. I give her kudoes for bucking the trend and marrying someone dare I say, normal.
And yeah, her music isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s a lot better than most of the crap out there right now.
xannalvzhallax | June 21, 2006 at 8:34 am
PLEASE VISIT MY WEBSITE ^^^^^
To_Bill_Braskey! | June 21, 2006 at 9:05 am
i still think shes sexy
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | June 21, 2006 at 10:23 am
@36 – Keep fighting the good fight, sir! Superior people love everything! Indeed!