Christina Aguilera: A Side We Hardly Knew

April 1st, 2009 // 69 Comments

Ask anyone – man, woman or child – what’s the first thing that comes to mind when they think of Christina Aguilera, and I guarantee the answer will be “huge awesome breasts.” So imagine my surprise to find out she actually has a nice butt. That’s like discovering your Xbox has a vagina. Or if you’re woman, discovering that, well, your Xbox has a vagina. We’re not so different are we, guys and gals?

Photos: Splash News

  1. EPIC


  2. J

    She looks like shit.

  3. not first!


  4. kels

    she’s cute. much cuter than those other skanks trying too hard like lindsay lohan.

  5. i will tag that ass all nite longs.2#you suck balls all nite long

  6. VtFarmboy

    J she may look like you say but atleast the girl can sing. Which is more than you can say about most former disney Ho’s.

  7. Quint

    Here’s to swimmin’ with bowlegged women.

  8. PunkA

    I bet she has a nice nice vagina too. Too bad she is married to such an unattractive, dorky dude. But I;d tag her. Jordan can watch and learn if he wants.

  9. Jimbo

    I jus farted

  10. Taco Hell

    She does have a nice butt. It’s not a boyish butt. Defenders of Kim Kardashian seem to think that anyone who finds KK’s butt gross must prefer anorexic butts and boyish butts, but this is not true. Nor does Christina have to hide her butt from photographers by carrying a huge handbag, as KK does, or by standing at weird angles that are obviously designed to be as flattering to her butt as possible, as KK does. Conclusion: CA has a nice butt and KK does not.

    I wonder if we could get CA, Heidi Montag, and Megan Fox to participate in a bare butt contest exclusively for The Superficial. KK can’t participate because we already know that unless photos that show her bare butt are heavily doctored, her bare butt is just plain ugly to look at. I’m willing to donate something that could be given as a prize to the winner. I have one of those things that automatically sorts coins and puts them into wrappers. Heidi or Megan might be willing to bare their behinds for a chance to win an automatic coin sorter/wrapper, but I don’t know about Christina.

    I have an old container of fiber powder that I’d be willing to donate to Kim, but I honestly think she’s beyond hope and that the best thing for her would be to practice deep acceptance of the truth, which is that her butt is really gross and will remain that way for the rest of her life.

  11. Ali Knievel

    It’s Jennifer Love Hewitt. They’re really the same person.

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    to the suburbs. This is in correlation to the growing number of gated communities appearing. It seems that people want to maintain their sense of
    value in their assets which is in a big part, their property.

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    Does this sound familiar? Do you want to read the truth?

  13. Mike

    I love the giant feet on the chick pictured with her in #3

  14. jesus

    butt? down here in hell we call them “dumpers”

  15. I never thought i would say this about this woman but she actually looks good – one of those women who looks better without all the crap on her face.

    Number 12, if you want to spread your political views start your own blog and stop spamming entertainment sites.

  16. Tom K

    She looks good without all that makeup! I’m suprised!

  17. johnny

    JEEZ , Please come up with some new material. This journalist sucks!

  18. Grandpa

    #12 This site is for fun, if you want to talk politics go somewhere else….with that being said go fuck yourself!!

  19. Airmail

    Great Pictures! Thanks Fish!

  20. I decided I own the internet, and I’m kicking some of you off

  21. Yeah child birth kind of enhances that backside,,,shes such a party pooper without the smile,,,and I meant that tongue in cheeks…

  22. Papa Bear

    I would totally do a threesome with her and her ugly as fuck husband if that was the only way to have some playtime with her. Do I need help or is that reasonable?

  23. Rhialto

    Who is she? I almost don’t recognize her.That’s quite some time ago.

  24. Mike Hawk

    Yes a thousand times over. I met her once on, She was seeking a very public open relationship with two girls, a cup and a donkey. Why dont you having some fun with her profile and join in the partying with scissor kicking?

  25. robyn

    not gonna lie, i thought you would comment on her matronly outfit….

  26. Darth

    Great ass!



  28. Joe

    She looks so hot.

  29. feckless

    Just a simple girl. With a ton of makeup on. Kind of like Cindy
    Crawford in the raw.

  30. Jen

    I think she looks like a dude dressed up as a chick. It only seems like she looks good to some of you because you are so used to seeing her with a thousand pounds of makeup on and wearing something black and shiny that is accesorized with a whip!

  31. R KElly

    ugly nose and legs.

  32. Frist is out

    Frist I have decided you have yet to say anything funny or interesting so you are out. Bye.

  33. Americanwhitetrash

    Still can’t get over why she married Gollum from LOTR.

  34. roro

    that’s a lovely pinched face

  35. farty mcshitface

    after several years and such, it is a bit of a surprise to see she has developed some legs and an ass worth looking at. i thought she would always have a pair of toothpicks for legs and one of those scrawny/flabby butts that are just gross. she still has a ways to go but, i am intrigued.

  36. Just because she isnt wearing tons of eye makeup doesnt mean shes not wearing a lot of makeup…. shes wearing tons…. Ewww. Pther than that, she looks good! glad she lost the baby weight that was making her face look like an allergic reaction.

  37. sick

    she looks like a wigger and a transexual all at once. the writer must be a retarded piece of shit.

  38. Ugly

    shes ugly as sin. her skins looks filthy, her nose is huge and she can’t dress.

  39. Arroyo

    come on, her breasts are so grotesque – 1st they were totally faked up, then she got pregnant, and it got worse.

    she’s always had a very nice ass.

  40. MOVE OVER, I feel terrible sick now.
    THE RESTROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  41. Teddy

    she has a nose only a jew could love ..oh snap! Jordan is a JEEEW

    and why didn’t they should of named their child Shylock?

    as for the ass it’s subpar…she got fat and wow got a big butt and must of freaked out since her next move was to get gaint implants to proportion out her figure and distract us from her rear..end…SOunds like something a self hating white or latino female would do…most Black women have too much self esteem to hate on their bodies by hacking them up perpetuate some ideal


  42. Teddy

    she has a nose only a jeew could love ..oh snap! Jordan is a JEEEW eew

    and why didn’t they named their child Shylock again?lol

    as for the ass it’s sub par…she got fat and wow got a big butt and must of freaked out since her next move was to get giant implants to proportion out her figure and distract us from her rear..end…SOunds like something a self hating white or latino female would do…most Black women have too much self esteem to hate on their bodies by hacking them up perpetuate some ideal


  43. marta

    she married him for his money
    music industry is full of them semitic ppl
    not to mention Hollywood and the financial sector
    u can thnk the jews for the federal reserve, income tax, kosher food tax and yah did I mention the economic collapse??

  44. b1tch

    She has a great natural voice, huge fake tits and a FLAT ass. Where the fuck did you get nice from? It looks pretty flatty bangin to me.

  45. shimmy

    It’s a good thing that, in most of the pictures, she’s either standing sideways to the camera or the camera only takes a pic of her thighs and above.

    Or else we’ll find ourselves looking at her ugly, mishapen bowy-woowy poopin short calves which, by the way, the skinny jeans help to accentuate. The ugliness.

    And what ass? Me no see no ass.

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  47. Blah

    No, sorry, this girl is not very attractive. She’s bow legged and she wears waaay too much makeup. So much so that its hard to see what she really even looks like. I’ll never understand that because on the rare occasion I’ve seen her “natural” she has the most gorgeous skin and skin tone. She’s the type of girl with such flawless skin that she doesn’t need makeup. I would kill for that. And yet she smothers it with layers of ugly, tacky looking makeup. It drives me crazy. Other than that she’s not very pretty. Talented, but just a soso face. The best thing she has going for her is her skin. The tits are fake and kind of gross and veiny.

  48. Erica

    That’s nice for a wide, flat one I guess.

  49. jimmy

    whats with her size 12 feet lolol

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