Christina Aguilera: A mommy after my own heart/pants

May 7th, 2008 // 53 Comments

So, I just learned that drinking beer can help lactation which is about the greatest scientific discovery since that guy who put those fizzy things in bottles of Guinness (Excluding the time I choked on one.). According to Page Six, Christina Aguilera is all about making her awesome mammaries more lactalicious and hit up some bars with her hubby Beast Man:

The pop tart, who recently gave birth to son Max, went to Crown Bar in Los Angeles with hubby Jordan Bratman and friends, who had a few rounds before continuing the party at the Chateau Marmont. A source said Bratman, who stayed sober, drove home.

This is fantastic news for gentlemen, like myself, who enjoy picking up single moms at the club. Now I’ve got an easy in to buy one of them a drink: “Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice your lactation seems a bit low. May I be of some assistance?” Watch out, ladies, I just found your kryptonite…

UPDATE: HELP! The La Leche League is after me! I think I lost them down an alley – ACK! They’re in my house! Ladies, I was only trying to hel – *POP* Oh yeah, that was a testicle. Mommy.

Photos: Splash News
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  1. Julio

    Uh, #30, I got news for you, guys DON’T think she’s hot. At least not the hetero guys, or the sane guys. Us red-blooded males all know Britney Spears is still the hottest of them all! GO, BRITNEY!!!!! BRITNEY RULES!!!!!

  2. michelle

    guys are so clueless! just because britney has this typical blonde-virginal-sexpot thing going on and she’s easy every guy on earth still would rather jump her bones. but us gals know better and we know christina is the sexier one as well as the more talented one. actually guys would rather have some ditzy, easy, brainless, stupid hussy with limited intellect and bad hygiene like shitney, erm…i meant britney, than a classy, intelligent, strong, ballsy woman like christina.

  3. Brendan

    Why are we spending so much time talking about that lowclass skuzz-queen, Britney Spears, for anyway?! I thought we were supposed to be talking about how hot Christina Aguilera is! Isn’t it bad enough that even with all her class and talent and charisma and sex appeal that for some ungodly reason Christina always seems to be in Britney’s shadow, even though Britney’s only “talents” are sticking her boobies in everyone’s face, playing this “holier than thou” virginal ingenue and making headlines with her stupid wide-mouthed smiley face all over the place?!?!?! Can’t people have a decent, civilized conversation about the lovely Miss Aguilera without some bafoon coming around saying all this crap about Britney being a “goddess” and Christina being “ugly”?! Why must it turn into this debate all the time?!

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