Christina Aguilera: A mommy after my own heart/pants

May 7th, 2008 // 53 Comments

So, I just learned that drinking beer can help lactation which is about the greatest scientific discovery since that guy who put those fizzy things in bottles of Guinness (Excluding the time I choked on one.). According to Page Six, Christina Aguilera is all about making her awesome mammaries more lactalicious and hit up some bars with her hubby Beast Man:

The pop tart, who recently gave birth to son Max, went to Crown Bar in Los Angeles with hubby Jordan Bratman and friends, who had a few rounds before continuing the party at the Chateau Marmont. A source said Bratman, who stayed sober, drove home.

This is fantastic news for gentlemen, like myself, who enjoy picking up single moms at the club. Now I’ve got an easy in to buy one of them a drink: “Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice your lactation seems a bit low. May I be of some assistance?” Watch out, ladies, I just found your kryptonite…

UPDATE: HELP! The La Leche League is after me! I think I lost them down an alley – ACK! They’re in my house! Ladies, I was only trying to hel – *POP* Oh yeah, that was a testicle. Mommy.

Photos: Splash News
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  1. I would breast feed until I was at least drinking age if I was her kid.

  2. danni

    Um… what is newsworthy about this? This is the first time she’s been photographed out on the town since she gave birth. She’s not allowed to go out for a night on the town with her husband? Come on.

  3. Michael Vick

    I once saw one of those crazy La Leche moms breast feeding her child at one of my picnics. I was disgusted.. I just ain’t cool to breast feed during a dog fight, and the kid was seven SEVEN!

  4. Delicious Alcohol

    Fish, Have you been smoking crack lately?

  5. Mississippi

    #1 – Since when do celebs breastfeed their babies? hahahaha Stop it! I almost peed myself!

  6. Low Lactation

    Dude I laughed so hard my colon fell out! Awesome pick-up line!!!!!!!!!!! GD that’s the funniest thing I have heard in a while!

  7. D4P

    I didn’t realize it was so cold in Los Angeles…

  8. Kim Lard-ass-ian

    Good for her, parents need to get out now and again and spend time away from the kid. Good for her for breast feeding too, bottle feeding is fucking shameful.

  9. nipolian

    If Christina is out whoring around while fucked up on Wild Turkey…..she must be trying to get that Mommy of the Year award from Mingling Moms next year.

  10. I can see the new add campaign now: Pauly Girl, for your Pauly Girls.

  11. Gunion

    For whatever reason these pics of Cristina make Britney seem even uglier.

  12. Sean Preston Spears

    ‘I wish Christina was my mommy!!’

  13. poot

    @11 could it maybe have something to do with the fact that she’s actually attractive?

  14. nipolian

    I’d like to see what’s attached to that fucking mitt around her arm in the last pic……….Fuck – take a look at the size of that fucker…….I guarantee that’s got Dina Lohan’s crotch salivating

  15. She doesn’t do anything for me. … Wheres the angelina love? I rarely see any pics of her on here

  16. restingonlaurels

    i’ve seen less make-up on the transexual MC at karaoke night at the gay bar.

  17. Christina is going to need a 40 in order to get that milk to travel all the way around those implants…

  18. Auntie Kryst

    Pic 6
    I have nothing mean to say. She’s playing it smart with a designated driver and a lackey to carry a spare shirt in too much boozing makes her puke..

  19. Spazz

    Does her asshat of a hubby own anything other than the same wannabee Beastie Boys getup he always wears? Fag.

  20. agree

    Pairs is a hottie. She is my favorite. Her blog and photos were found on ****W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m**** last week. What kind of relationship is she looking for on that site?

  21. Jackson

    I’m glad she covered her horrible implant gap cleavage. She has a nice voice but I’m not into pop music. She puts on too much make up like a drag queen. Her butt, thighs, and hips are fat.

  22. #21

    You are a brunette, aren’t you?

  23. Kim Lard-ass-ian

    She is looking pretty good here it’s true, shes not even sporting her regular orange tones. Shit it sucks to not have something to bitch about.

  24. Harry Ballzack

    “Holy paps Bratman”
    “To the Bratmobile!!”

  25. Will

    Her dark roots are a great contrast to her over bleached porn star looking hair. I wonder if she gets make up tips from drag queens.

  26. andie

    I think she looks cute. She wears a lot of make-up, but I’ve seen worse. Worse is when it’s on that heavy and it’s applied badly. At least she looks that way on purpose. And so what she went out? Since when is that wrong? Did I miss something?
    Really, leave Christina alone!
    Heh.
    I don’t really like pop music, either, but I can recognize talent when I hear it. Her song, ‘aint’ no other man’ I think it’s called, it reminds me of my husband every time I hear it.
    *goofy grin*

  27. AJ

    26
    Yeah usually ugly chicks have to wear a lot of make up and bleach their hair to obtain the cookie cutter porn star or over done celebrity look.

  28. andie

    I guess only we lucky few can pull off natural-looking beauty with very little help from cosmetics and colorists.

  29. Dante

    @28

    Have you been living under a rock? There are a lot of female celebrities that do not put on a lot of make up like drag queens and like Christina. Many are not drop dead beauties but put themselves together the best they can and it shows.

  30. Jennifer Hammond

    I dont get why guys think she is so hot. The incredibly fake looking tan, the nasty cheap looking bleached hair, those obvious implants(which was a botched looking job) and that rat nose doesnt really seem sexy to me.

  31. dude_on_a_wire

    I heart boobies

    - and in her case she does have talent beyond just bodacious head slappers.

  32. Christina Aguilera's original breasts

    I am still upset she replaced me with those silicon balloons. I thought we had something. Bcup BFF. I blame her homeless looking hubby.

    BTW, he isn’t packing alot down there. It is as phony as a $3 bill.

  33. max

    VAMPIRE!

  34. andie

    @29:
    I’d like to introduce you to this newfangled concept called sarcasm.
    *chuckle*

  35. Randal

    Haven’t heard from you since you gave birth there Christina and I’m glad to read that you’re doing well after Max was born. You and Jordan make wonderful parents and I hope you’re back on your feet again soon making and singing wonderful music.

    Randal

  36. Her eyes remind me of the doll eyes that open and close and that you want to pull the ridiculously long eyelashes out of..

  37. OC Dee

    #36

    lol!

    Good one! It brought back childhood memories of one of my dolls!

  38. NATTYRAY

    IF THE ONLY NEGATIVE THINGS PEOPLE CAN SAY ABOUT HER IS HER HAIR AND MAKE UP SHE IS DOING WELL IN MY BOOK. SHE IS MARRIED. WAS MARRIED BEFORE SHE WAS PREGO. SHE CAN ACTUALLY SING SO SHE IS FAMOUS FOR TALENT. SHE STAYS OUT OF GOSSIP. CHRISTINA IS VERY PRETTY, SHE IS NOT BORING WITH CLOTHES/GLAMOUR. THERE ARE VERY FEW CELEBS WHO DONT GIVE A DAMM WHAT OTHERS THINK.

  39. This is Truth

    #38 You are spot on.

  40. Casey

    I like her makeup, personally. She doesn’t try to look low key, but goes for glam instead. I think it’s awesome!

  41. Gwen

    Oh, that’s fine. She could totally pump and dump.

    Wait…these comments are mostly coherent, too…

  42. Kate

    she is so beautiful and sexy, but I also saw more beautiful and hot girl at http://www.kissmilitary.com.

  43. bow legged rat face in drag

    11- why is that?
    go to a drag show. you won’t believe your eyes with all of the beauties with long pointed noses they have there.

  44. Jess

    Christina is absolutely stunning….she has always been the prettiest of all the “pop princesses”, but as time goes on she just keeps getting even prettier!

    I’m happy for her as a new mom, she actually seems really stable and happy. But I’m also looking forward to the next album!!!!!

  45. wow, she looks hot

    SHE’S FUCKING HOT

  46. Carly

    Christina goes beyond talant and everyone knows that!!

    Only people that you fear you pull down and because Christina Aguilera has it ALL!!- people have to try and pull her down!! thats a FACT!!

    I LOVE the way she changes her looks and image all the time, it shows personality and adventure with her- Absolutley no insecurity- because insecre people stick to one thing they feel safe in, but she goes for it with CONFIDENCE!!!

    id like to see what they haters look like- then again…..definately NOT!! YIKES!!

    Next hater….POST a picture of yourself up with your comments!!!

  47. Perri

    I like her singing voice and some of her music…however, I would not touch this chick with a ten-foot pole! As much as her singing and her music sux, give me that Britney Spears anytime, anyday, anyplace, anywhere!!!

  48. Maureen

    I agree…Christina is totally gross. It’s like she’s taking every possible opportunity to say, “In you face, Britney!! Guess who’s the hottest now!!” Personally, I think Britney’s going to be like a pheonix rising and be the pop goddess we know and love, and Christina will just have to stand back and take it.

  49. BritneySpearsComeback2008-2009

    Britney will always be a million times sexier and more beautiful than this slut! And I agree that everything Christina is doing lately (flaunting her boobs, talking about being naked on TV, ect.) is to try and shove it all in Britney’s face because Britney was always the bigger sex symbol and Christina was always second bananna. But I think the world wants Britney to make a triumphant comeback and for Christina to just go away and stop acting like a hooker all the time. I think Britney will defintately return to being the hottest person in the world and Christina will finally learn to get a clue and retire with her “monkey” husband and her baby.

  50. Lance

    No matter what….Britney Spears will always run circles around Christina Aguilera, in looks, sex appeal, charisma and lustworthiness.

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