Christina Aguilera makes Jordan Bratman so happy

June 5th, 2007 // 129 Comments

Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman were spotted in New York last night celebrating Bratman’s 30th birthday with a Hawaiian themed party. And judging by his expression I’d say he had a blast. I’ve seen children who just found out they have cancer that look happier than this.

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  1. wtf does she use to get that shit off of her face? a Brillo pad … christ!

  2. Locode

    He’s busy listening to broadcasts on his ear antenna. Man, if he doesn’t give hope to all motherhumpingly ugly big-eared trolls of the world. Unless he’s just the exception that proves the rules?

  3. he is the luckiest douchebag on earth. he must pack 10 inches.

  4. I think she needs to come get fitted for a Raptor’s dick.

    Raptor Porn

  5. jeezzz…she must really hate herself..i mean..just look how much shit shes got on her face.and the thing is, it doesnt even make her more pretty….she just looks cheap and dirty..

  6. Chris

    They both have the same long, ugly nose. She’s fug, I don’t know how anyone says she’s hot. both Alba and most other current celeb girls are waaaaaay hotter. She even has ugly legs, no definition. And googly muppet-eyes to boot. Fug.

  7. Miserable Bastard

    She looks like a transvestite Jesus on crucifixion day.

  8. ctti

    @107: Yeah, really funny. Can see how fitting your name is.

  9. Julie

    i love christina aguilera.

  10. Hemlock Queen

    I just have to add…

    Where is Christina buying her stockings? From the Dolly Parton Hosiery Line at Wal-Mart? I didn’t know she was 80 needing support hose.

  11. She has so much make-up on that she looks like she is doing a Broadway play version of Lil Abner, and in that outfit. He is busted looking, looks like he’s 15. Why is she so orange all the time, ugh. and those support fishnets are the worst!

  12. StoneRose

    Haw Haw! They have the same nose and mouth in pic 2!

  13. A

    hahaha, yeah i couldn’t agree more.

  14. sweetnsnooty

    She looks too airbrushed, too much make up, too “tanned” skin … meh!

  15. christina is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to pretty to be married to that UGLY ASS guy. he looks like ass

  16. christina is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to pretty to be married to that UGLY ASS guy. he looks like ass

  17. hendero67

    OK, so we’ve got Bratman, and the clown-painted Joker. But where’s Commissioner Gordon? Chief O’Hara?

  18. Snatchit

    Face made by Mattel.


    This one’s easy. She loves this guy! That sad, big-eared puppy-dog that we all see when we look at Bratman, she finds it endearing. He makes her laugh, and I give her credit, cause she choose this guy not on his looks. She just loves this guy, and when a rich, famous, sexy singer loves you, you just go along for the ride. His face always says to me “I’m along for the ride”.

  20. JD

    Has anyone ever noticed that they have the same nose? look at pic#2

  21. diana

    toooooooooooooooo MUCH MAKEUP

  22. Tallyman

    He looks like the alien out of Men In Black that can re-grow its head. lol.
    Christina needs to lay off the makeup gun. her skin is probably terrible because of how much she wears and therefore she has to wear it all the time. oh well…

    Tally Out.

  23. w00t

    Now thats sick. Ugly, rat faced jew that Bratman is, and swollen, double chinned Xtina.

  24. Jackie

    God she is such a fugy piece of work.

    Ok so heres a story ive heard about her and why she ended up settling for Bratman: A few years back she was fucking her way through the insiders of the music industry, bratman being one of them, these guys didnt have ANY respect for her – the only onw who was a big enough loser to form a relationship with her was Bratman, he was the only one which didnt have an ounce of dignity to be able to let this std-ridden whore be his girlfriend … ok that was a very LIGHT summary … but its what i heard.

    Oh and on a final note fuck them both. Shes a dirty fake whore (who is completely BALD underneath those hair extensions – ala Britney) and hes a dirty shit boy with a head like half eaten hot dog. let them have eachother!

  25. Rachel

    christina aguilera is a very beautiful woman. where did THAT guy come from? love is love, who knows?

  26. 82 – carsten5577 – You are one pathetic christian loser, who spends all his time jerking off on your computer. Get over your jealousy of Bratman, he is with her and she pretty much wrote a double album for him. Any girl even write you a letter, you fag.

    125 – Rachel – you right Love is love! Losers love to spend all their time worrying about why she married him and really that doesn’t matter. It just to bad everyone is making racist comments about it.

  27. i just wanted u to know that u and Jordan looked really happy to be together i hope this beautiful love lasts forever! i admire your work and u have the most amazing voice in the world!! keep on as u are and never change!!! i hope i have the chance to meet u some day and get the chance to tell you how much i love u!!

  28. thanks for your post!!!!!!!

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