Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman were spotted in New York last night celebrating Bratman’s 30th birthday with a Hawaiian themed party. And judging by his expression I’d say he had a blast. I’ve seen children who just found out they have cancer that look happier than this.
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Bort Simpsoy | June 5, 2007 at 5:32 pm
Haw-Haw!
James | June 5, 2007 at 5:34 pm
i get his “Hawaiian” look. but what is she supposed to be?
Bern | June 5, 2007 at 5:34 pm
She looks like Skanky Hawaiian Fluffer Barbi.
Kate | June 5, 2007 at 5:35 pm
She’s got an ANGRY INCH
Kate | June 5, 2007 at 5:36 pm
Hawaiian Themed? I thought she was supposed to be HEDWIG
Jimbo ∞ | June 5, 2007 at 5:37 pm
Nice sausage-casing legs. Plump and bowed, just like when you take them off the grill.
Ooba Gooba | June 5, 2007 at 5:37 pm
This guy either has a ton of money or a huge schlong, cause he sure ain’t pretty.
Kate | June 5, 2007 at 5:38 pm
My sex change operation got botched
My guardian angel fell asleep on the watch
Now all I’ve got is a barbie doll crotch
I’ve got an angry inch
Six inches forward and five inches back
I got a
I got an angry inch
Six inches forward and five inches back
I got a
I got an angry inch
schack | June 5, 2007 at 5:39 pm
dammit, the maid’s been eating the chocolates and stealing the pantyhose again.
Kate | June 5, 2007 at 5:40 pm
[img]http://www.losanjealous.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/06/Hedwig.jpg[/img]
Rachael | June 5, 2007 at 5:42 pm
She’s so gorgeous him yeah well not so much. To score a girl like that and look like he does he must be an extemely nice guy or yeah what #7 said – have an extremely large penis.
Jimbo | June 5, 2007 at 5:44 pm
@6 Thanks troll, that was kind of funny.
Drewus | June 5, 2007 at 5:47 pm
Looks like his plumbing is backed up! I gladly change positions with him and……… have her scream in my ear.
Jimbo | June 5, 2007 at 5:47 pm
Christina is dating that troll? The guy must either be able to lick his forehead or he’s hanging to his knees
wedgeone | June 5, 2007 at 5:48 pm
He looks like he’s going along with it because he doesn’t want to be dumped by his hot girlfriend.
She looks like she has no idea what planet she’s currently living on. Can we see her on “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?”
Zeke | June 5, 2007 at 5:50 pm
Now we know what happened to Gabe Kaplan’s love child..
wedgeone | June 5, 2007 at 5:50 pm
One more thing – where’s her Hawaiian outfit? He’s wearing the grass skirt and she isn’t?
Damn – we know who runs this relationship.
gina | June 5, 2007 at 5:52 pm
He’s prolly tired just trying to keep Xtina happy!
Paris Hilton Prison Game:
http://www.innerdrama.com/games/game2709.html
skankalicious mom | June 5, 2007 at 6:01 pm
They are both so ugly they deserve each other.
mrs_primevil | June 5, 2007 at 6:03 pm
She’d be so pretty if she ditch about a pound of that make-up
bamboozled | June 5, 2007 at 6:03 pm
AWWWWE HELLL NO. Whut she wearin’? Dis girl trippin fo real peeps! That ain’t no hawaiian outfit. Girl been runnin round in minnie mouses underwear drawer.
Eyeballs | June 5, 2007 at 6:05 pm
That’s the look of a husband on his birthday that just finished waitin 12 hours for his wife to get ready for his party.
Victor | June 5, 2007 at 6:07 pm
She makes Jordan Bratman happy, and makes my dick very happy. Instant hard on, I need to get off this keyboard so I can do my business.
BarbadoSlim | June 5, 2007 at 6:07 pm
What a greasy mess, get me some industrial de-greaser and a belt sander STAT!
shallow | June 5, 2007 at 6:11 pm
Every time I see them as a couple, I can’t help but think that it’s just a bad fucking joke that is being played on the public.
But, I must be jealous, right?
Cause the hairy little nematoad is boning X-tina every day.
Or maybe not, judging from the look on his face.
amma | June 5, 2007 at 6:12 pm
…His look basically says he
married his masturbation fantasy.
And it was great. The first four
months. Except that now he has
slept with her a gazillion
times and is bored. And
she eats a lot and is always
drunk. And posing. And eating.
And talking. And falling down.
And spending money. And putting
on make-up. And drinking more.
Ronald McDonald | June 5, 2007 at 6:15 pm
She is about 5’2″ tall. He must be the same height. Salema Hayek could eat that tiny little homo.
schack | June 5, 2007 at 6:17 pm
that’s the way of the world, shallow. for some unknown reason (if one can call it that) women are really attracted to douche-bag tossers.
kwsoze | June 5, 2007 at 6:19 pm
wait, why is wearing flowers on your head considered dressing in Hawaiian garb?
Chauncey Gardner | June 5, 2007 at 6:21 pm
Dud-dud-dud-dud-dud-dud!
Dud-dud-dud-dud-dud-DUD!
BRATMAN!
POW! ZONK!
BRATMAN!
BAM! THWOK!
BRATMAN! BRATMAN! BRATMAN!
Dud-dud-dud-dud-dud-dud!
Dud-dud-dud-dud-dud-DUD!
BRATMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!
Juego De Poker | June 5, 2007 at 6:23 pm
when i look at the picture the only thing that comes to my head is this:
“she really needs to work on her colors”
Chauncey Gardner | June 5, 2007 at 6:23 pm
You know, I can’t see his utility belt from here, but he can’t possibly have enough Brat-Ho-Repellent if he’s hanging around with Christina.
honeycomb's_big_yeahyeahyeah! | June 5, 2007 at 6:28 pm
He’s wearing a “Get Lei’d” shirt. You can’t hate on him too harshly.
honeycomb's_big_yeahyeahyeah! | June 5, 2007 at 6:30 pm
Also, the outfit on Christina is less “Hawaiian” than it is “feed the sacrificial virgin to the angry volcano gods”-ian. Or IS that Hawaiian? The little I know of US history/geography comes from that Animaniacs song about the US capitals.
Angry Ferret Jones | June 5, 2007 at 6:38 pm
I think that look on his face is his intense fear that one day he is going to wake up and this dream will be over. Or that she will wake up and realize what a useless, ugly fucking retard she is with and run out of the room screaming.
Honestly, do us a favor and fuck somebody pretty. It would be good for the whole group. I give this douche-bag another 6 months tops on holding this charade together.
AFJ
Angry Ferret Jones | June 5, 2007 at 6:40 pm
Richport – there’s your choke-fuck right there!!!
captain obvious | June 5, 2007 at 6:41 pm
Sooo much makeup. This girl tries way to hard. She has an amazing, strong voice, but she’s not the icon she thinks she is. She’s always posing and acting like she’s so sexy; she thinks she is this generations Marilyn Monroe or something. Sorry, Christina, not even close. You’re just another pop princess, the only difference is you can actually sing (though personally I don’t care for her voice or her music, but I can admit talent when I hear it). Well, at least she finally stopped that whole disgusting “dirty” look…eeew
woodhorse | June 5, 2007 at 6:43 pm
in pic two – he looks so fucking funny, *catching breath from laughing so hard* I want to fuck him – if he leaves the skirt on.
dudley | June 5, 2007 at 6:49 pm
What an ugly bastard.
Jesus christ
King Dong | June 5, 2007 at 6:50 pm
that dude’s shirt is sooo gei.
Petite | June 5, 2007 at 6:50 pm
Why do stage performers always dress like they’re about to put on a show?!?!?!
noway | June 5, 2007 at 6:51 pm
i would be angry if i was married to this bitch- she’s a total diva who makes a scene when things don’t go her way. i once saw her bitch this 13 year old girl out for asking for an autograph. god forbid anyone bother this prima donna!
BarbadoSlim | June 5, 2007 at 6:58 pm
Bratman better enjoy his little dish while she’s young ‘n tight. Seriously her body is a little whack. C’mon that bow-legged deal, she’s a midget, flat ass.
I want to see what she’ll look like after a coupla kids.
skankalicious mom | June 5, 2007 at 7:12 pm
@#37 – well said
she really does go way over the top with all that war paint, sheesh – tone it down Xtina you look like you walked into a cosmetics factory and got pelted.
Binky | June 5, 2007 at 7:30 pm
Well,ok, I’ve seldom been called a ‘Fashion Maven.’
But if I were her, I’d subtly mention to him sometime that he could maybe lose the ‘faux’ grass skirt.
I just don’t think it’s working.
Negatrice | June 5, 2007 at 7:35 pm
THAT FUCKIN TIBIA-CALVES COMBO.
Kathleen | June 5, 2007 at 8:02 pm
She wears a LOT of make-up…
anna | June 5, 2007 at 8:11 pm
If my wife were walking around like a common street whore I wouldn’t look happy either. Additionally, if people were taking pictures of her to send all around the world for guys to jackoff too…i would look like this.
Dianne | June 5, 2007 at 8:16 pm
UMM YEAH, EWW. SHE LOOKS LIKE A CLOWN…
lambman | June 5, 2007 at 8:18 pm
That would be a really cute bathing suit if not for that white thing around her waist. Plus it fits with her whole, pretend everyday is Halloween and dress like a 1940′s clown hooking thing…which I still support over having a cottage cheese ass and no talent like Britney