When you’ve reached a certain level of sluttery, it becomes almost natural that your underwear just sort of disappears. In a prime example, here’s our good friend Christina at the MTV Movie Awards. I had a quick chat with her after the awards show and asked her why she didn’t bother to wear underwear with her outfit, considering people could literally see her ass crack. “When you’re as slutty as me, wearing underwear just gets in the way of things. Plus with this fantastic dress, just a pull of the string and I’m naked! Now let’s have crazy sex in the parking lot with my two midget friends and that donkey.” I was tempted to take her up on her offer, but decided my life would be better off without genital herpes and the 48 other STD’s I would undoubtedly catch.