Christina Hendricks Breasts Are Real, According to Christina Hendricks

In a new interview with The Daily Mail’s You Magazine, Mad Men star Christina Hendricks basically calls everyone an idiot who says her breasts are fake and explains why she married the weirdest looking man alive who’s so full of confidence now he gave himself a pedostache:

On why you bothered to click on this post and even know the name Christina Hendricks:
“I hope I’m not encouraging [breast augmentation]. If there’s anything to be learned from me it’s that I’m learning to celebrate what I was born with, even though it’s sometimes been inconvenient. Having larger breasts has made it harder for me to shop throughout the years, but I’ve learned to love it. It’s so bizarre that people are constantly asking if my breasts are real or fake,” she adds. “They’re so obviously real that anyone who’s ever seen or touched a breast would know.”

On how Geoffrey Arend gets to have sex with her:
“I moved to New York as a teenager when I started to model, and there was a restaurant called Il Buco which was filled with gothic-looking chandeliers that had weird apples and flames coming out of them. I’d been trying for years to get the owner, Donna, to sell one particular chandelier to me, but she wouldn’t. Geoffrey and I went there one New Year’s Eve and I happened to point it out to him. Then months later, I came home and every inch of our dining room was filled with flowers. Geoffrey was on one knee, so one part of my brain was registering that he was proposing, but then I looked up and saw the chandelier, so the other part of my brain was going: ‘How the hell is that chandelier in our house?’ He’d commissioned the artist to make Donna a replacement, so she finally relented and sold it to him. I was just crying so much when he proposed. I mean, what can you say about a man like that? He’s just so old-fashioned and kind and dreamy.”

So, wait, he bought her a chandelier and that’s all it took? Because, seriously, I have a lamp right here with a dimmer switch, and you don’t even have to bolt it to the ceiling. Not doing it for you? No problem. Check out this flashlight on my keychain. It says, “Hard Rock Orlando,” AND doubles as a bottle opener. Eh? I’ll be over here waiting for the sex.

Photos: Getty