Christina Aguilera’s Boyfriend Loves Her Fat Ass

January 9th, 2012 // 52 Comments
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“Ho ho ho ho… ha ha ha ha…. This bounty hunter is my kind of scum. Fearless and inventive.”

Seen here at the Television Something or Rather promoting The Voice, Christina Aguilera apparently wanted people to know that she’s happy with looking perpetually pregnant and her boyfriend Matthew Rutler can’t get enough of her bouncy house vagina. People reports:

“Women, we are definitely under a microscope and under massive scrutiny,” Aguilera, 31, said. “As long as I am happy in my own skin, that is all that is all the confirmation I need.”
But, she adds, it’s nice to have approval of the one she loves, including her beau, Matt Rutler. “I have a boyfriend that loves my body,” she says. “I love my body, my son is healthy and happy and that is all that matters.”

Of course all this protesting makes you wonder if her ex-husband Jordan Bratman wasn’t appreciative of her “fuller, more natural” American physique despite the fact he’s a goddamn mole creature.

CHRISTINA: We’re not going to your parents’ this year for Christmas. I can’t fit down that hole anymore.
JORDAN: You’ve been overeating on purpose! You never liked them.
CHRISTINA: Oh my God, again with this?!

Photos: Getty


  1. Bianca

    What happened to her boobs? I thought she had implants, they look really deflated and saggy now.

    • V

      motherhood happened.

      • John Gooch

        The guy who dumped a load in her would be wondering what happened. He married a petite thing with some junk in her trunk, but now she’s a bleach blond burger hound who’s main talent of ass shaking for dollars is rendered useless. Also, everybody laughs at him because his wife is a fat pig who smells of ass sweat.

  2. tumble weed

    her tits/tea bags too?
    her fat face too?
    her hairy anus too?


  3. Donald Trump

    Wow – the antidepressants have really screwed with her body!

  4. This chick is just disgusting. A big fat blonde Snooki or the spitting image of Jabba the Hut. I know a lot of women who have put a few pounds on and still look good. This chick has put on at least 150 pounds.

  5. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Winter TCA Tour
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  6. LJ

    The girl’s just working to get the Kate Smith award.

    (Kate Smith: )

  7. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Winter TCA Tour
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    She did the trick, the trainer should throw her a fish….

  8. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Winter TCA Tour
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    That is a look that says “Do I have the chili-fries or the deep dish meat lovers pizza?”…

  9. It's the kimkim, bitches

    If I had a boyfriend that preferred me chubby and unhealthy as opposed to in shape, I dump his stupid ass.

  10. Say what you will about how slimy Matt Ruttler’s motivations are but every Kermit needs his Miss Piggy…

  11. dinosaurland

    The bigger she gets, the more she looks like Cindy Lauper. Which is weird, because Cindy Lauper isn’t fat… Whatever, Christina will be beautiful no matter what she looks like. She does, however, need someone to dress her for her size, and she is clearly still in fat girl denial.

  12. Racer X

    I would hit that 25/8.

  13. Do_Freebird

    Point of clarification. Shouldn’t that be “Fat, Sloppy, Ass?”

  14. Satan's bitch

    Fish darling, you do know it’s “something or other,” n’est ce pas? Of course you do. *smoochies*

  15. Clark Kent

    “Women, we are definitely under a microscope and under massive scrutiny,” Aguilera, 31, said.

    This is true, and it’s like saying that there are places in the world where anyone who is black or Jewish or gay is under massive scrutiny by members of the status quo.

    Many women fall into what I consider the trap of trying to live up to male ideals of female beauty. Some women who don’t live up to such ideals react by angrily proclaiming that they are happy just the way they are – but one can tell by their appearance and attitude that they are still caught in the trap. Rare are women who aren’t in that trap at all – who aren’t trying to live up to what men like me who think with their dicks think, and who aren’t merely reacting to what such men think. Such women are the only ones who qualify as liberated, IMO.

    • Mike

      Just how big is the microscope she actually fits under?

    • V

      men actually do prefer a woman with more meat in her bones. but a trashy, booze-bloated woman with clown make up who can bother to wear a brassiere falls under no one’s definition of ‘beauty’. if you add christina’s dreadful personality and bitch attitude, even less.

      And +1 to Mike.

  16. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Winter TCA Tour
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    Haha – Danielle, Ursula was the first thing to pop into my head, too!

  17. Mike

    If George Lucas ever needs a new Jabba the Hutt…

  18. Happy_Evil_Dude

    Well at least she’s admitting she’s a fat fuck. In other news, I can’t help but male pig sounds whenever I see a picture of her now. Oink oink.

  19. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Winter TCA Tour
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    I thought Ursula died at the end of The Little Mermaid…

  20. I heard her new album is called “Scattered, Smothered, and Covered”.

  21. yoyoma

    that cover pic looks like Ursula when Ariel signed her life away

  22. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Winter TCA Tour
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    my broke ass mooching bf thinks I’m sexy!!!!!!

  23. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Winter TCA Tour
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    Not pictured: a catapult throwing food into her mouth.

  24. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Winter TCA Tour
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    Your mind powers will not work on me boy. Slurp.

  25. cc

    I am eagerly awaiting the upskirt shot so I can see her nipples.

  26. Mamamia

    But but I thought she weighed 100 pounds!

  27. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Winter TCA Tour
    too many genies not enough bottles
    Commented on this photo:

    her boobies are melting

  28. Jon and Kate plus Hate

    You can talk about feeling good about your appearance all day, it’s the fat girl smell that is the problem, that and the tons of talcum you need to use to stop chaffing. You do know that talcum is made from the crushed up bones of those poor kids Sally Struthers use to eat, don’t you?

  29. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Winter TCA Tour
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    Roseanne Barr!!!

  30. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Winter TCA Tour
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    And finally Monsieur, a wafer thin mint.

  31. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Winter TCA Tour
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    Looks like Jabba the Hut found a plastic surgeon and the right lipstick color.

  32. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Winter TCA Tour
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    Oh, also, someone please create a side-by-side of this:

  33. The Royal Penis

    “As long as I am happy in my own skin”.

    She must be using it as a blanket.

  34. Mando

    The mole creature and christina will make the Hamburglar!

  35. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Winter TCA Tour
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    Since everyone has such a negative opinion of her looks, I guess it’s a bitch for you all being so damn perfect. Of all the sweat hogs walking the planet, you’ll give her crap for being fat, well she isn’t. I bet she is looks better and is in better shape than the bag of fat you’re sleeping with, if you’re sleeping with anyone at all.

  36. Abrielle

    Everyone seems to forget that she is about 5 feet tall so when she puts on 20 lbs it looks like 100. I’d say she’s probably only gained 30 lbs but has nowhere to put it so it’s just splooging out in strange places.

  37. John Moors

    This disgusting woman should be shipped to Somalia to see how real celebrities eat. She’d consume the whole villages monthly supply of food for breakfast no doubt. By lunch time she would have devoured the local wildlife and by nightfall she would have definitely turned to canabalism. This talentless slob should have her mouth sewn shut in an effort to stave off world hunger. She is worse than Hitler.

  38. Leigh

    I’m trying, and failing, to convince myself that this “article” is meant to be satire. I’d love to see what you internet trolls look like in real life. If your bodies are perfect, then I salute you. Congratulations. But — regardless of your body size and degree of beauty, all of you please get a grip. This woman does not owe any of you a size 00 body or what you may consider to be sex appeal. Do you even know her (aside from what you see on The Voice)? I didn’t think so. So how about focusing on changing your own unhealthy attitudes and let Christina lead her life.

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